Filed under: Coliseum | Tags: Adrian Adonis, Alfred Hayes, Bob Orton, Bobby Heenan, Bret Hart, Don Muraco, Fabulous Moolah, Freddie Blassie, George Steele, Hoss Funk, Jesse Ventura, Jim Neidhart, Jimmy Hart, Jimmy Jack Funk, Lou Albano, Mr Fuji, Nikolai Volkoff, Roddy Piper
Wow, it’s been over a year since I updated my blog, didn’t expect to be away from this for so long. I’m back and we’re going to continue the amazing WWF Coliseum Home Video collection. Picking up where we left off, is the Explosive TNT Show tape. TNT, for those who’ve never seen it, was the WWF’s attempt at doing a talk show. Basically it’s Vince McMahon as the host, with sidekick Lord Alfred Hayes and they interview the WWF wrestlers and do variois stupid skits and stunts. It was the ultimate in WWF cheese, and I’m surprised they haven’t tried to resurrect it. The box for this volume is black and has pictures of Bobby Heenan, the Hart Foundation, Mr Fuji, Don Muraco and Vince himself. With this being more of a series of vignettes and not matches, this review won’t be like the normal ones, but this is not your normal VHS tape, so let’s get to it.
Of course we open with the classic WWF Coliseum Home Video opener, this really puts over the importance of wrestling something they don’t do anymore. Mene Gene welcomes us to the tape and calls TNT the most popular program on TV, sure Gene we’ll go with that. Gene goes over the premise of the show, interviews with the WWF stars and some of the classic mini movies.
1. Our first segment is the legendary Fuji Vice starring Don Johnson Muraco and Mr. Fuji. This is of course a parody of Miami Vice as Fuji and Muraco show they have some of the best charisma in the history of wrestling. I love how Fuji is in a classic 80s suit but keeps his bowler hat as well. It seems weird seeing someone smoking on a WWF program, times sure have changed. They really need to redo this, it would be a great way to get over a midcard tag team, this would have worked great for Curt Hawking and Tyler Reks actually. Fuji and Don of course save the day in an awesome 10 minute show.
2. We get some quick clips of Bobby Heenan in the ring with Hillbilly Jim and Andre in a huge six man tag as Heenan bumps around like a pinball for Andre. Over to Vince McMahon who brings out a young kid with a ferret and they compare it with Bobby Heenan. Well, this just makes me miss my little ferrets now. Vince keeps calling it a weasel, since that was Bobby’s nickname much like the crowd chants walrus at Heyman nowadays. Heenan threatens the kid and then asks the kid if he has a tail. They show a picture of Heenan with a ferret on his shoulder as well, and Vince says we have proven that Heenan is a weasel and Heenan chases Vince off the set.
3. Some quick clips of Hoss Funk, aka Dory Funk Jr, in action. I never understand why they had to change his name to Hoss, considering how famous the Funk family is in wrestling. This sends us over the a Funk family bbq, with Vince in a neon yellow suit, Lord Alfred, Jimmy Hart, Hoss and Jimmy Jack Funk. Jimmy is not related to the family at all, which is why he wears a mask, he also has a noose around his neck for some reason. Vince bugs Hart about being a vegetarian, and then asks why we never heard of Jimmy Jack before now. Vince leaves Alfred in charge as Hoss brings over a big bucket of BBQ sauce for Alfred who makes the mistake of yelling at Jimmy Jack. Jimmy Jack dumps the bucket of sauce on Alfred and then string him up with the noose, Big Boss Man says hello on that one!
4. It’s time for Captain Lou’s Christmas Cookies, as Lou shows up with a chef’s hat and talks about keeping this sanitary. George Steele joins the set and Lou says George loves Christmas cookies as he starts cooking like the Swedish Chef just throwing everything together. This of course leads to Alfred wearing the bowl of dough, as usual.
5. We get some quick clips of Nikolai Volkoff beating down Chief Jay Strongbow and this sends us back to the TNT set with This is Your Life Nikolai Voloff hosted by Vince McMahon. Nikolai is wearing the same damn suit he wore when he worked for Ted DiBiase in 1995! The first guest is the legendary Classy Freddie Blassie, who talks about Nikolai being undefeated and winning the gold in the Olympics. The next guest is Nikolai’s sister, Olga, who produces a baby picture of Volkoff, which is basically a picture of a baby with Volkoff’s head pasted on it. Vince sends it to commercial and that ends the clip.
6. Clips of Adrian Adonis are shown, first when he was the leather clad bad ass from NYC teaming with Dick Murdoch. This is followed up with the more recent Adrian, in a dress and wig, now known as Adorable Adrian Adonis. Back to TNT as Adrian is getting a makeover on the set as Jimmy Hart looks on. Jimmy says this happens daily as Adrian has to look his best at all times. Vince says no one would want to compete with Adrian when he looks like this, as the ladies continue to work on his hair and makeup. This was such a sad gimmick for a guy who was so talented, supposedly this was punishment for Adrian’s ballooning weight, and this would be his last gimmick on the big stage.
7. Highlights of Hulk Hogan versus Don Muraco in a steel cage are shown, and we head back to the TNT set as Muraco is getting a massge from two bikini clad models. Fuji says they use a case of oil a week, and Don says Iran has nothing on them.
8. Time to play a game of Baffle the Brain as Bobby Heenan joins the set of TNT and Vince starts making fun of Bobby losing manager of the year to Lou Albano. Nice to see the old school WWF toy ring and LJN wrestlers sitting on the coffee table. Alfred says he has some trivia for Heenan, the first one is what city did the IC title change hands in in 1984 and who won it (Baltimore and Tito Santana). Heenan gets both right and the next question is who was Lou Albano’s tag partner and the name of the team when he had the World Tag Titles (Tony Altimore and The Sicilians)? Heenan gets it right again, so the next question is about Freddie Blassie, who was the man he managed for the World Title and who beat him (Iron Sheik and Hulk Hogan), which Heenan gets correct. Next question, who is the only man to have held all three WWF titles (Pedro Morales), which he gets right. Final question, name two managers on the inside of the Wrestling Album (Jimmy Hart and Lou Albano) and Heenan only gets Hart. Heenan gets irate and says he said Lou Albano.
9. Roddy Piper and Bob Orton visit the set of TNT and in classic Piper he makes fun of the Hillbilly family. Vince shows pictures of Uncle Elmer’s honeymoon, from the wedding that was aired on SNME, and Piper makes fun of the photos. Vince sends it to a clip of the threesome versus Uncle Elmer, Hillbilly Jim and Cousin Junior from SNME. Back to TNT as Piper continues to make fun of the Hillbillies and they digress to talking about Piper’s song on the Wrestling Album. Piper says there is a message to the song and if your IQ is over 21 you’ll get it.
10. More of Don Muraco as he talks about acting as Vince says he should be embarrassed of his actng. Don says what Vince knows about acting could fill Andre’s brain. We get a clip of Fuji General, Don and Fuji’s play on General Hospital as Don plays it so over the top it makes the segment fantastic. The director stops the shoot and screams at how bad Muraco is, as we move on to Fuji and Muraco doing a western movie now with special guest Fabulous Moolah. Don actually calls her Lil, which is kind of surprising. Now it’s a clip of Fuji, Muraco and Moolah doing a parody of Charlie Chan, as Fuji butchers proverbs. Back to the set of TNT as the crowd is booing Muraco and Fuji, as Vince calls it the worst acting ever. Muraco defends his acting and calls it great but Vince doesn’t have the perception to understand it. Vince points out that Muraco has not had a real acting job, to which Don says he needs an agent from Hollywood and will procure the best agent in Beverly Hills. Vince says they will send the WWF cameras with them, as we move to Fuji and Muraco at an agent’s office. Fuji is one of the most hilarious characters ever, as he continues to screw up proverbs, as they get called into the office. Don says they have produced three amazing shorts and want to give him a chance to represent them, as they pass the agent their tape. He pops it in the VCR and starts watching and laughing, and calls the tape pure trash and no talent. The agent says they should go back to wrestling and they will never make it in Hollywood and kicks them out of the office. Don and Fuji then try to get in to a studio to see the head, but their name is not on the list so they can’t get in. They try a different studio and get the same results, as Fuji tries to grease the palm of the security guard which gets them kicked out of the studio. Don says Hulk Hogan is filming his cartoon at the studio tomorrow and they will invade the set. They head over to the set of Hulk Hogan’s Rock n Wrestling, and Gene says they are not written into the script so they don’t need to be there. A stage hand comes over and says something to Gene, who says they have something for them. Gene starts his voice over and welcomes them to HH R&W, then starts to read a fan letter about Don and Fuji which includes a gift. They open the box and it’s a book about hints for bad actors, which ends this amazing series. This was the best part of the DVD and probably the best comedy in the WWF’s history.
11. Roddy Piper and Bob Orton once again visit the set of TNT for the Christmas episode. Vince asks Piper what he thinks of Christmas and Piper says he brought a video to show his thoughts on Christmas. They roll the video and it’s a parody of the Charles Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol. Piper pops off on of my all time favorite lines, “Son of an unnamed ghost!”, as Piper is visited by the three ghosts of Christmas and vows to change.4
12. We now get a play of the Dating Game with Jimmy Hart, Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart as the contestants and Vince as the host. They have some ditzy blonde asking the questions, some are pretty risque for 1986. Everytime someone says something pretty raunchy Vince does his classic laugh, as Bret talks about how long his tongue is. She seems to like that one! She asks about foreplay and Jimmy Hart says he would oil up his megaphone and shove it in her ear?!? She asks Anvil how he would keep her warm, he does his laugh and says it’s a family show so he can’t say. Jimmy says Anvil has TB, twin bellies, and Bret is covered in greasy kid stuff. Bret says he’s the best technician in wrestling and he would put her out with the sleeper! She finally makes her pick and she chooses none of them, she calls them morons and storms off the set. Vince apologizes to the Hart Foundation and Jimmy Hart and calls the girl a poor sport, so he brings out a new contestant, Yolanda Jones, a woman with a huge yellow wig and she picks Anvil. Anvil comes to meet his date and starts to back away, Vince says he signed a contract and must go out with her. She hugs Anvil and she’s barely up to his chest as the show ends.
All in all this was a fun but very strange DVD, however the comedy actually worked. This goes to show the WWF used to be able to write good comedy, unlike the crap they do nowadays. Obviously the best parts were the segments with Mr Fuji and Don Muraco, but everything was fun and entertaining although I’m glad we go back to matches on the next tape. Speaking of the next tape, it features the man who in my opinion is the real Mr Wrestlemania, Randy Savage. Should be some amazing matches, as Savage was always one of the greatest.
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