Chris' Blog


The Life and Times of Captain Lou Albano

   Time for another classic Coliseum Home Video release, and this time it’s “The Life and Times of Captain Lou Albano”. Lou is of course the manager of champions, guiding multiple teams to the WWF Tag Team Titles. This tape covers the career of one of the greatest managers of all time. The box calls him one of the most influential men in wrestling, and I have to agree as he was one of the biggest stars of the eighties. I expect this tape to have a ton of promos and skits and very few matches, but the promos should be fun as no one cut a promo like Lou, let’s get started.

   No surprise, the classic intro to start the show and we’re welcomed by the legendary Gorilla Monsoon. Gorilla talks about being an announcer and never being at a loss of words, but talking about Lou makes it hard to describe the man. Gorilla says there have been many men of great importance but Lou is a former tag champion and managed fifteen men to that title, also a referee, leader of the Rock and Wrestling Connection and foe of Roddy Piper. We head to the ring for the first match and it’s Captain Lou, Andre the Giant & Hillbilly Jim v. King Kong Bundy, Big John Studd & Bobby Heenan.

   This should be a massive match considering the stars involved. Gorilla and Jesse on commentary talk about The Heenan Family attacking both Andre and Jim at previous events. The match cuts off before the bell even rings, what the hell was that? That was a waste of  time.

1. Lou Albano v. Tony Angelo

   This match was from twenty five years before the tape was released, and has Gorilla and Lou on commentary. Lou says he was heavier back then, but still a star as Tony tosses Lou to the floor. Lou struggles to get back in the ring and Tony continues the offense but misses a corner charge. Lou covers and scores the upset win, even though he’s busted wide open. 5/10 what we got wasn’t bad, but Lou got no offense and won on a defense move.

1. Lou Albano beat Tony Angelo 5/10

2. Lou Albano v. Rick Martel

   Lou stalks around the ring waiting for Rick, and Gary Capetta is the announcer, that’s amusing. He was around for a really long time, didn’t realize that. As the ref checks Rick’s boots Lou rakes his eyes and tosses Rick to the cement floor. Lou poses for the crowd, as Rick slowly gets on the apron and Lou tosses him into the ring post sending Rick back to the floor. Again Lou catches Rick on the apron and rams him hard into the post and Rick finally makes it back in the ring. Lou continues to rake the eyes of Rick and then pulls a foreign object from his pants to rake across Rick’s eyes. Martel finally catches Lou and starts to choke him in the corner before unloading on the Captain. Lou finally makes his way to the outside and heads to the backstage, taking the count out loss. 5/10 wasn’t a bad match, but a lame ending really sucked. At least it wasn’t clipped!

2. Rick Martel defeated Lou Albano via count out 5/10

3. Mr. Fuji & Mr. Saito v. The Strongbows

   Lou is the manager of Fuji and Saito, and this is the same match from the tag team tape. Fuji throws salt in the eyes of Jules while the ref is distracted and scores the first fall in seconds. They toss Jay to the floor and Lou takes some liberties on the Indians. It’s funny seeing no barricade around the ringside area. That’s all we see again, so no rating

3. Mr. Fuji & Mr Saito defeat the Strongbows No rating

4. Mr. Fuji, Mr. Saito & Lou Albano v. Rick Martel, Tony Atlas & Tony Garea

   This is joined in progress as Lou’s team cheat to get the advantage on Garea. Garea spending time on the floor which is letting Lou take some cheap shots. Garea finally makes some offense and makes the tag to Atlas who clobbers Saito. Atlas press slams Saito and scores a near fall, but Fuji breaks it up. Some more cheating gets Albano the advantage, but Atlas starts to Tony Up, but another cheap shot takes Atlas back down. Atlas finally makes a hot tag to Martel who unloads on Fuji and we clip to the heels cheating some more to get an advantage on Martel. It’s funny to see Albano with the Japanese flag on his tights, as he continues to hammer the future model. Martel able to make the tag and Garea comes in a house of fire and locks on the abdominal stretch on Fuji, but more chicanery as Saito catches Garea from behind and Fuji falls on top for the win. 7/10 a fast match with a hot crowd, even with a minor clip.

4. Mr. Fuji, Mr. Saito & Lou Albano defeat Rick Martel, Tony Garea & Tony Atlas 7/10

5. Rocky Johnson & Tony Atlas v. The Wild Samoans

   Albano is the manager of the champions, Wild Samoans, and this match is on the tag title tape as well. Atlas unloading on both Samoans, and all four men in the ring. The ref gets bumped and Albano gets involved, this allows Afa to hold Tony. Lou swings a chair and hits his own man, Atlas covers and they win the titles. 6/10 a fun match and very historic.

5. Rocky Johnson & Tony Atlas defeated The Wild Samoans 6/10

   We go to TNT with Lou Albano and The Wild Samoans, to talk about the title change. Vince asks Lou if he feels responsible for the title change and Lou has no answer. Lou struggles for the right thing to say as Afa and Sika are sitting beside him and look pissed off. After the break the Samoans have left and Vince asks the same question, this time Lou says he’s not responsible. Lou says they think they’re tough, they should have come back and won the match and not be cry babies. Lou calls them savages from the trees just like Jimmy Snuka and says they’re nothing but cry babies. Alfred says Lou made a technical mistake but it cost the title and it’s inexcusable. Lou makes fun of Alfred and says he should hit him with a chair. Vince asks Lou how much money he takes from Samoans or Cyndi Lauper, and this send Lou on a rant

   Another TNT interview and this time Lou apologizes to Alfred and calls TNT the hottest show in television. Lou talks about his new man The Spoiler and a special ball he had made for him to show how much strength he has in his hands for the claw hold. Vince asks about Greg Valentine’s IC title reign, and Lou says they may retire the titles.

   Another interview with Lou and Moolah, as Lou says she is unbeatable. Moolah says hi to all her friends and enemies and that they get along great. Lou says he is elated as Gene says Cyndi Lauper has Wendi Richter ready for tonight. Moolah says she can keep running and Lou says Moolah is the champion and has been for twenty seven years.

6.Wild Samoans v. Adrian Adonis & Dick Murdoch with Lou Albano as referee

   Before the match we see Lou with Adrian and Dick, and Lou quickly scampers away. This is an oddity for the time, as heel versus heel was very rare. The bell rings and Sika starts with Adrian, and they lock up with Adrian powering Sika to the corner. Sika comes back and hammers Adrian which brings in Dick and Afa and all hell breaks loose. We clip to Murdoch unloading on Sika, as Gorilla says the crowd is behind the Samoans. Once again all four in the ring and Adrian and Dick get the worst of it as the Samoans toss the Wrecking Crew out of the ring. The Samoans take a minute in the corner and Dick rams their heads together, which does nothing. Lou distracts Sika and Dick gets a shot in but runs into Sika’s knee, Dick winds up in the wrong corner and gets clobbered. Clip to Adrian slamming Afa down hard and then climbs the ropes, but takes too long and gets hammered up top, then headbutted to the floor. Dick alone with both men who clobber him and hit the headbutt, Lou does a slow count and the Samoans have had enough. Lou calls for the bell and raises Adrian’s hand then Dick’s as he disqualified The Samoans. They go after Lou and The Crew help Albano, but the three of them can’t control the Wild Samoans who chase them to the back. The Crew returns and we have a slobberknocker, as all four men are brawling. Dick and Adrian try to grab the titles, but the Samoans send them back again without their gold. 7/10 a great brawl but a lame ending.

6. Adrian Adonis & Dick Murdoch defeat The Wild Samoans via DQ 7/10

   Back to TNT as it’s advice to the love lorn with Captain Lou Albano, the same skit from Bloopers, Bleeps and Bodyslams, so here’s the recap. Vince reads the first letter, from a wife who says he husband refuses to use modern hygiene which makes him stink. Lou says some people are allergic to deodorant and tells her to get some alcohol, olive oil, witch hazel and shaving lotion, shake it up and rub it on to do the job. Albano says he doesn’t smell and showers three or four times a day. Next question, a wife says her husband is obese and asks about a guide for love making for the obese. Albano says he doesn’t like people who are fat and says he’s an optical illusion, Lou says fat is not all bad and the fat women love him. Vince tries to get things on topic with the third letter, a wife who’s husband won’t take off his cowboy boots. Albano says he must have athlete’s feet and those boots must stink and he’s in bad shape.

   More from TNT as Lou Albano talks about his relationship with Cyndi Lauper and that he made her. Lou says he found her in a bar and taught her to be a woman and made her what she is.

   Piper’s Pit with Albano, as Piper shakes his had and they have a mutual admiration society meeting going on. Lou talks about Piper being the greatest he’s ever seen and would’ve been his manager. Piper calls Lou the greatest manager in history and took Cyndi Lauper from nothing to a superstar.

   Another Piper’s Pit with Lou, and they continue to kiss each others asses. Lou pulls up a copy of USA Today and Life Magazine with Cyndi on the cover. Lou takes the credit for all the magazine covers she’s on.

   More Piper’s Pit, this time with Cyndi Lauper, as Piper talks about Lou managing her from nothing. Cyndi interrupts and says Lou is not her manager, and the crowd erupts. Piper says she can’t be saying that, as Lou comes out and tells her to tell everyone he made her. Lou continues to take credit for everything she’s done, and Cyndi tells Lou to cool it. Lou tells Cyndi to shut up and that women are nothing and Cyndi tells him to calm down. Piper says he’s seen the video and that Lou is not a liar, Cyndi says not to get her mad. Cyndi finally snaps and clobbers Lou and Roddy, and David Wolfe comes in to pull her off. This was groundbreaking TV at the time and got the WWF huge mainstream press, something Vince is just begging for nowadays.

   TNT again with Lou who says he apologized to Cyndi and he’s happy to be a friend of hers.

   Over to Madison Square Gardens as Dick Clark is presiding over a ceremony for Cyndi Lauper. Cyndi has Hulk and Wendi in the ring with her, as Dick awards her an achievement award for all she’s done for the women of wrestling. She introduces Captain Lou who gets an award for his charity work. Lou gives his speech and out comes Roddy Piper who takes the award and smashes it over Albano’s head then kicks Cyndi Lauper in the face. Piper piledrives David Wolfe and the crowd is just insane. Every current wrestler in the WWF can learn from Roddy Piper on how to draw heat.

   Back to TNT with Lou again as he says he’s upset with Piper and ashamed to be a wrestler. Lou says what happened to him was bad enough but kicking Cyndi in the head and attacking David was brutal. Lou thanks Hulk for making the save and threatens Piper.

   More TNT with Roddy Piper who says he’s proud of what he did and asks how much money Lou stole from the charity. Out comes Lou to defend himself and he gets in Piper’s face, Piper tells him to sit down and says he’s been carrying Lou, Lou says he’s been here a lot longer.

   Gorilla Monsoon is joined for an exclusive interview with Captain Lou Albano and asks where he got the Captain name. Lou says he dubbed himself the Captain since he’s the guiding light of tag teams. Gorilla asks how long he’s been in the business, and Lou says over thirty three years. As the interview plays we see footage of Lou Albano facing Jimmy Snuka. Lou talks about the hottest and coldest places he’s ever worked and goes over some of the names he likes to drop in promos. Lou goes over all the different people he’s managed and all the titles they’ve held, including the World Title with Ivan Koloff.

   Back to TNT as it’s the Halloween Special with Lou Albano as the Great Pumpkin. Lou comes out in a pumpkin suit including face paint, and claims it’s from Milan, Italy. Vince asks if the outfit is available for sale, and Lou says they are in a much smaller size. We get a video of Tito Santana ordering a sandwich and someone took a bite out of it. Lou is the chef, of course, and says he tastes everything he serves. Lou laughs about it, as does the studio audience, but not nearly as much as Vince does. Lou now teaches the viewers how to carve a pumpkin, this TNT stuff is pure comedy gold and this is the kind of comedy they need to do. Lou tosses pumpkin guts all over the set and tries to get Alfred to eat the raw pumpkin.

   We get more TNT, as Lou is teaching Piper and Bob Orton how to make spaghetti. Lou claims the crushed the tomatoes with his bare feet, as this is actually pretty funny. While Lou is getting the pasta, Orton and Piper steal some sausage and Orton steals some garlic. In the meantime Lou added a ton of Tabasco sauce to the pasta, unbeknown to Piper and Orton. Piper takes a big bite and spits it all over the place.

7. Captain Lou, Andre the Giant & Hillbilly Jim v. King Kong Bundy, Big John Studd & Bobby Heenan.

   We finally get the match that opened the tape, after some great promos. This is joined in progress as Bundy is overpowering Hillbilly and almost wins with a kneedrop. Bundy misses a clothesline and Jim makes the tag to Andre, and Andre chokes Bundy in the corner. Bundy gets a few shots in the midsection to stagger the Giant and makes the tag to Studd. The heels double team Andre as Heenan unties the tag rope as Andre drives Bundy and Studd into each other. Bundy gets the blind tag and clobbers Andre from behind, they double team Andre to his knees. Bundy locks on a front face lock but Andre powers his way up and smashes the head of Bundy who staggers to his corner. This brings in Studd who runs into a chop from Andre and Jim tagged in. Jim unloads on Studd in the corner but gets chopped by Studd. Studd slams Jim into the turnbuckle and brings in Bundy who clobbers Jim in the corner. Bundy with a snapmare to get Jim out of the corner and drives the elbow into the midsection for a near fall. Heenan gets the tag and takes advantage of Jim while he’s down, but Jim catches Heenan with a headbutt and tags in Andre. Heenan retreats and Studd tagged in, but Andre tosses Heenan back in as the ref didn’t see the tag. Andre drags Heenan to his corner and tags in Lou, Andre holds Heenan while Lou pummels Heenan. The ref forces Andre back to the corner and Lou taunts Heenan before tossing him hard in the corner. Heenan bails out of the ring as Lou tags Andre back in, and Heenan comes in to tag Studd in. The ref won’t allow the tag and forces Heenan to get in the ring, Heenan avoids contact and finally gets Studd in there. Andre rams Studd and Bundy into each other and then stacks them in the corner, Andre gets Heenan in the corner as well. Andre drives the shoulder into all three men, with help from Jim and Albano. All six men in the ring and Bundy and Studd tossed into each other as Lou tosses Heenan into Andre’s boot. Andre covers Heenan for the pin, even though Studd was the legal man. 7.5/10 a very fun match and a very hot crowd. Great way to end the tape.

7. Captain Lou, Hillbilly Jim & Andre The Giant beat King Kong Bundy, John Studd & Bobby Heenan 7.5/10

MATCH RECAP

1. Lou Albano beat Tony Angelo 5/10

2. Rick Martel defeated Lou Albano via count out from Philadelphia, PA 5/10

3. Mr. Fuji & Mr Saito defeat the Strongbows on July 13, 1982 from Allentown, PA No rating

4. Mr. Fuji, Mr. Saito & Lou Albano defeat Rick Martel, Tony Garea & Tony Atlas on February 20, 1982 from Philadelphia, PA 7/10

5. Rocky Johnson & Tony Atlas defeated The Wild Samoans on November 15, 1983 from Allentown, PA 6/10

6. Adrian Adonis & Dick Murdoch defeat The Wild Samoans via DQ on June 16, 1984 from New York City 7/10

7. Captain Lou, Hillbilly Jim & Andre The Giant beat King Kong Bundy, John Studd & Bobby Heenan on November 25, 1985 from New York City 7.5/10

   A very fun tape with a couple good matches and some great promos. The two six man tag matches were the best of the bunch and the recap of Lou’s face turn was great. Another classic tape that aged very well. Lou Albano was always great at cutting promos and firing up a crowd, and his in ring exploits were classic, a great tape. Coming up next is the Best of the WWF Volume 5.

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