Chris' Blog

WWE Monday Night RAW – April 16, 2012

Tonight’s episode of Monday Night RAW comes to us from Jolly Old London, England and our main event is CM Punk defending against Mark Henry for the third straight week. Two weeks ago Henry won via countout and last week was a DQ win for the man formerly known as Sexual Chocolate. Tonight there has to be a winner, and I assume it won’t be Henry. Before we get to RAW, I just want to touch on the TNA PPV from last night. Contrary to what a lot of people are saying I think it was a pretty good show, other then two matches (Robbie/Devon & Knockout Tag). The Lethal Lockdown did not have a major spot this year, which is fine, it doesn’t need one every year and the main event was great. A lot of people are ripping on the main event for having Storm lose in his hometown, which way not have been a great idea but it will continue the feud. The finish was different, and something not seen in a long time as Storm superkicked Roode through the cage door, thus giving Roode the win. All in all it was a fun PPV and worth the three hours, which is more then I can say for Wrestlemania this year. With that said, let’s start this week’s RAW.

Nice to see the usual UK set with the double decker bus and phone booth. What, we’re starting with a match, that’s unusual. It’s the World Title match no less, guess they don’t want Punk uspurping Brock and Cena’s heat, since we know one of them, Cena, will be involved in the main event.
1. CM Punk v. Mark Henry for the RAW Title in a no DQ match

Am I the only one who finds it odd that Henry didn’t even get an into tonight and was just in the ring when the show started? The crowd quickly starts a CM Punk chant, no surprise as he’s easily the most popular guy in the company. Henry wastes no time overpowering the Straight Edge Champion, which makes the crowd cheer for Punk louder. It’s going to be a good crowd tonight, as usual in the UK, and one of my favorite peeps is there tonight, follow her on twitter at @Gleek_Goddess. Henry is relentless on the champion tonight as he smashes him in the post but runs into Punk’s boot and Punk steals a page from Jeff Hardy by running the railing to hit a bulldog on Henry. Punk goes for a Thesz Press off the apron but Henry catches him and drives the champion into the ring post. Punk finally fights free after to commercial and grabs a chair, which he uses on Henry to score a near fall. Punk grabs the chair and charges the challenger but eats a boot and now Henry has the chair and smashes Punk with it. Henry wedges the chair in the corner and tries to ram Punk into it, but Punk blocks and comes back with kicks. Henry fights back with the big clothesline, as this has been a great match so far, and follows with the bearhug. Punk breaks free and goes for a crossbody, but Henry catches him however slides free and hits the big kick staggering Henry to the corner. Punk hits the running knee but Henry throws him off with the bulldog attempt. Henry charges into the corner, Punk moves and Henry rams his head into the chair wedged in the corner. Punk quickly ascends the ropes with the chair and hits the diving chair to the face of Henry for the win. 8/10 a great back and forth match, and probably one of Henry’s best matches ever. As Punk celebrates his win he’s interrupted by Chris Jericho on the Tron, and Jericho taunts Punk about the attacks and announces he gets a title match in two weeks at Extreme Rules. Jericho says the match will be a Chicago Street Fight, that should be awesome. Punk says Jericho will not survive in front of his friends and family, Jericho tells Punk to make sure he shows up sober and says he saw what Punk did earlier today. We see video of Punk arriving at a pub earlier in the day, well that should get him fired for not living his character, after all they fired Serena for that. Punk tells Jericho to come to the ring and find out if he’s drunk, he claims he went to the pub for fish and chips. That brings us a chant of “Fish and Chips”, really, strange crowd. Jericho says in two weeks Punk will lose the title and before Punk can respond Jericho disappears.
1. CM Punk defeated Mark Henry to retain the title in a no DQ match 8/10

Backstage we see R-Truth dressed as Sherlock Holmes and he runs into Teddy Long. Truth says his job is to find Long a job, Long says that’s the best news he’s had all month.
2. Santino Marella v. David Otunga for the US title

Santino comes out wearing various soccer jerseys, which doesn’t sit well with the crowd, until he gets to the last one which pops the crowd. Otuna is becoming the new Masterpiece, and should be doing ads for baby oil. Otunga starts out with the power but Santino tries to fight back only to be kicked in the face. Am I the only one who misses the Honk-a-meter? Otunga covers and scores the pin, but Santino had his foot on the ropes. Otunga argues with the ref and Santino comes back with the armdrag then the diving headbutt. Santino hits the Cobra for the quick pin. 3/10 nothing bad but very short and I expect a rematch at Extreme Rules.
2. Santino Marella pinned David Otunga to retain the US title 3/10

Backstage to Josh Matthews with Lord Tensai and his handler, who starts to talk and Tensai cuts him off. Tensai says people fear the unknown, but he knows what people should fear. I really hope he gets the proper push, but the crowd is killing him and he came in at just the wrong time with Lesnar back. Damn, we had to hear that freaking Wrestlemania song again, I hate this damn song. We get a pretaped interview with Brock Lesnar, he talks about being the youngest champion ever and they show a clip of Brock beating The Rock for the title. They also show clips from his UFC run and says his return his not a feel good moment, or for the fans, it’s just business. Brock says people are tired of Cena’s crap, which is true, and the only reason Cena is in the spot he’s in is because he left. Brock says if he stayed Cena would be carrying his bags and that Cena is scared of him, and their match is going to be fight as it’s now an Extreme Rules match. Love the fact they showed Lesnar killing RVD, Spike Dudley, and the Hardys.
3. Zack Ryder v. Kane

Is there anyone in the business who’s being used worse then Ryder? We get a recap of Kane laying out Cowboy Bob Orton last week on Smackdown. I bet this lasts less then the US title match. Ryder climbs on the apron to get in the ring and Kane boots him off. Kane quickly smashes Ryder into the steps then the announce table. Kane throws Zack in the ring and the match hasn’t started, as Kane chokeslams Ryder and that ends that. No rating for no match. Kane grabs the microphone and taunts Orton, Well, that was a lot of nothing.
3. Kane and Zack Ryder never happened No Rating

Backstage again, to Kofi Kingston talking with AJ, and here comes Daniel Bryan from behind. Daniels asks what is going on and says just because he doesn’t want her doesn’t make it open season. DB says the Lebell Lock is now the Yes Lock because when he locks it on Kofi he’ll be going yes. DB leads the crowd in a yes chant, once again getting over his orgasm chant. Great, a three hour RAW next week, those always suck so badly. Speaking of sucking badly, no not Kelly Kelly, but here comes her male equal John Cena. Lots of recaps of the Cena/Lesnar stuff from last week, aka the only good parts of last week’s show. Cena says Wrestlemania could be the end of an era, his, as the crowd chant’s yes and he pretends it’s for him. Cena says because JL is now in charge and doesn’t like him and is using his authority to replace Cena, which draws a mixed reaction. Cena needs to shut up and let DB have his match, as that’s what the crowd wants, as he mentions that JL brought in Lesnar. Cena says Lesnar stands for destruction and doesn’t plan to win at Extreme Rules, but is coming to end Cena’s career. Cena admits to being afraid of Lesnar but that he will still fight, if Cena wins that will kill Lensar totally, but it wouldn’t surprise me at all. Finally Cena gets interrupted by JL who says he’s glad Cena wants to fight as tonight he’s in an Extreme Rules match and next Monday on RAW they will do the contract signing, those never end well. JL says he won’t tell Cena who his opponent is because it’s more exciting. I’m figuring it’s either Miz or ADR, unless they kill of Tensai already. Time for recaps, yawn. Now back to R-Truth who comes through a wall confusing Hornswoggle, well that was stupid.
4. Kofi Kingston v. Daniel Bryan

I think DB is the next most popular guy in the company behind Punk, as there are a lot of Yes signs. Kofi uses his speed to take down DB, but DB comes back with a dropkick and begins working over the arm over Kofi. Remember when Kofi was going to be the future of the company and being pushed? That seems like years ago now. Kofi finally fights back but gets tossed to the ourisde by DB, who misses the running knee and Kofi comes back with a nice flying crossbody to the floor as we go to commercial. After the break we see AJ watching the match backstage as DB is back in control and hits the Yes Kicks in the corner, but Kofi fights free to take down DB. Kofi hits the Boom Drop but misses the Trouble in Paradise and DB goes for the Yes Lock. Kofi fights free and hits the SOS for a near fall, and follows with the bouncy kick. DB catches Kofi on the top rope and goes for a superplex, but Kofi fights free however he misses the crossbody. DB quickly locks on the Yes Lock and Kofi taps out. 7/10 better then I expected as Kofi got a lot of offense. Lawler calls England the new Bizarro land as they cheer for DB. DB locks on the Lock after the match and Sheamus makes the save. DB bails out and Sheamus help Kofi up, Sheamus should have nailed Kofi to get back his ruthlessness.
4. Daniel Bryan defeated Kofi Kingston via submission 7/10

Highlights of Brodus saving Santino from Swagger and Ziggler, along with Ziggler’s awesome selling of Clay’s headbutt, which takes us to our next match.
5. Brodus Clay v. Dolph Ziggler

Michael Cole shows off his knowledge of dinosaurs, to the entertainment of no one. Brodus’ dancing is interrupted by Vickie Guerrero, who introduces the showoff Dolph Ziggler. Dolph tries to use his speed but gets tossed across the ring by Clay, and Swagger tries to help but gets pulled into the ring drawing the DQ. DUD didn’t even get started, what a waste of Ziggler. Ziggler is the third best in the ring behind Punk and DB, and is being wasted. Clay gets distracted by Vickie, and the dancers grab Vickie’s leg. Vickie kicks Cameron down and Naomi chases Vickie into the ring and shoves her down. The dancing continues after the brief break.
5. Brodus Clay defeated Dolph Ziggler by DQ DUD

Backstage to JL with Otunga, and Eve joins them to ask about a one on one and they step into his office. We get a nice tribute video for Cheif Jay Strongbow, who was in the first group of Hall of Fame inductees. That was awesome, especially considering most of the current fans have no idea who he is.  After that nice video we get more of Truth and Long, as Truth says he found him a job, GM of Smackdown and with eight years experience he has all the credentials.
6. The Great Khali & Big Show v. Primo & Epico

They wasted money on a plane ticket for Khali, why? So the Tag Champions finally get on TV and this is what they do with them? Who books this shit anyways? Although I’m always happy to see the super sexy Rosa Mendes, as she is the hottest diva in the company. We see Abraham Washington watching the match from the top of the ramp, as Khali destroys both men. Rosa gets her champions to leave the ring and they try to exit the ringside area but Show catches them and tosses them both in the ring. Khali and Show hit their finishes on both men and a double cover for the easy win. DUD what a waste of the tag champions, embarrasing to watch.
6. The Great Khali & Big Show crushed Primo and Epico DUD
Now we get highlights of the European Tour, including the first show in Moscow, they should’ve brought along Nikolai Volkoff for the trip to Russia.
7. John Cena v. Mystery Opponent in a Extreme Rules Match
Doesn’t matter who the opponent is, Cena will always overcome the odds. JL comes out to introduce John’s opponent, and it’s Lord Tensai, guess this ends A-Train’s big return. Damn, this sucks badly for Tensai. Tensai overpowers Cena to start the match, including a big headbutt as the announcers talk about The Rock and Brock Lesnar. Tensai crushes Cena with an avalanche, sending Cena to the floor, as we see JL and Otunga watching at ringside. Tensai goes for a powerbomb on the floor but Cena backdrops him. Cena grabs the stairs and rams them into Tensai’s head. Tensai’s manager gets involved, giving Tensai the advantage back and Tensai suplexes Cena for the first near fall. Tensai with the Tongan Death Grip, but Cena fights out and goes for the FU, but Tesnai counters and takes down Cena again. Tensai misses the avalanche and Cena comes back with a series of flying shoulderblocks and the five knuckle shuffle, but Tensai catches Cena with a chop. Tensai hits the senton drop for a near fall, and goes to an armbreaker. Cena counters into the STF and Otunga comes in, but gets caught in the AA. Cena turns around and Tensai spits the mist in his face then hits the Baldo Bomb for the big win! 6.5/10 not a bad brawl, but the styles clashed badly. Cena should not have gotten as much offense on the big man as he did, but at least he took the loss. After the match Cena sells the mist and screams for water as we fade to black.
7. Lord Tensai pinned John Cena 6.5/10


1. CM Punk defeated Mark Henry to retain the title in a no DQ match 8/10

2. Santino Marella pinned David Otunga to retain the US title 3/10

3. Kane and Zack Ryder never happened No Rating

4. Daniel Bryan defeated Kofi Kingston via submission 7/10

5. Brodus Clay defeated Dolph Ziggler by DQ DUD

6. The Great Khali & Big Show crushed Primo and Epico DUD

7. Lord Tensai pinned John Cena 6.5/10

A pretty good episode of RAW tonight, not great but better then the last two weeks. We had three good matches, two duds and a poor match. Anyone know what the deal is with the divas? This is the third straight week with no diva match, not that anyone is missing Yelly Kelly, but just seems odd. No surprise that Brock wasn’t there live, considering how much he hates to travel, but glad to see Tensai score the win. Also glad to see Brodus in a storyline finally, I wonder if we’ll get a mixed person tag at Extreme Rules with Santino, Clay and Naomi facing Swagger, Ziggler and Vickie? Anyways, not a bad episode of RAW tonight, and Extreme Rules is looking good so far, probably be a better show then Wrestlemania was. Back tomorrow with the next Coliseum Video tape.

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