Chris' Blog

WWE Monday Night RAW – April 2, 2012
Coming off a mediocre Wrestlemania, where we crowned a new Smackdown and IC champion, brings us to Monday Night Raw. I miss when it was the War Zone, but those days are long over. At Wrestlemania we saw the end of an era as the Undertaker pinned Triple H and along with Shawn Michaels the three men walked to the back together. Hopefully this is the last match for all three involved, as it’s time for them to move on and let the spotlight shine on someone else. Cody Rhodes dropped the IC title to Big Show, a big mistake unless he’s the next challenger for new Smackdown champ Sheamus. I’d like to see Daniel Bryan and Chris Jericho switch shows, and then we can have more Daniel Bryan versus CM Punk matches, plus Sheamus and Jericho had a nice go at the end of the Rumble. Lots of big rumors swirling around about tonight’s episode of RAW, so let’s get to it and see what happens.

We open with John Lauranitis backstage with the WWE roster, even the lowliest Superstar jobber. JL says he’s the man with all the power and will give people what they want. JL announces Santino Marella defending the US title against Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger in a triple threat match. CM Punk interrupts and says he speaks for the fans and the vast majority backstage, they still consider him a giant toolbox. JL says Punk will defend against Mark Henry tonight and this is a new era, people power, to which some applaud and others look pretty ticked off. After the opening music we head to the arena, but not for a match but more talking, as the Rock makes his way to the ring. Rock smiles and poses before finally talking and calls WWE home, that is until he leaves for another crappy movie. Rock thanks Cena and the fans, as this is just dragging on, then mocks the CFL. Is there an actual point to all this, because if it’s not leading to match in 27 days they’re wasting valuable time. Rock says this is not the end, but the beginning, and the crowd starts a “Thank You Rocky” chant, seriously? Thanks for what, putting on a sub-par match at Wrestlemania? After a long spiel the Rock finally says he wants to be champion again, I sure hope not. Rock finally ends with the same catchphrase he’s been using for over a decade. See, this would’ve been the perfect time for Cena to come out and attack Rock and setup the rematch that the WWE is hell bent on doing anyways. Instead it’s just ten minutes of the Rock cutting the same promo he’s been doing since he feuded with Ken Shamrock. We now get highlights of John Cena’s promo from a month ago, and Cena will be here later.
1. Santino Marella v. Dolph Ziggler v. Jack Swagger for the US Title
Twenty minutes into the show and we finally get our first match, but first some commercials. A series of double team moves takes Santino down, but Ziggler makes a cover and Swagger pulls him off. Swagger suddenly nails Dolph and Vickie is irate, Santino flubs up a slingshot on Dolph, but takes out both guys and a Cobra on Swagger gives Santino the match. 5/10 a fun little match, hopefully leading to a legit three way match, or even a fatal four way with someone else added. Speaking of someone here comes Brodus Clay to save Santino, and Brodus takes out Dolph. A smell a tag match on Smackdown, as Santino holds his US title proudly overhead and then they dance.
1. Santino Marella defeated Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger to retain the US Title 5/10
2. Lord Tensai v. Alex Riley

Here’s the debut of Lord Tensai, formerly known as A-Train, who comes out in Kwang’s old outfit. Well, at least the WWE like to recycle, I’ll give them that. What a fall, from being in the corner of the World Champion last year to cannon fodder for the new guy. Let’s hope Riley’s in the next round of future endeavors. How many current fans remember Train from his last reign in the WWE with the late Test and Trish Stratus, I guess some fans do as we have a chant of Train suddenly. Tensai wins the match with ease using the tree slam that Khali uses and the ref stops the match. 3/10 an extended squash, maybe a little to long as the crowd started to cheer for Riley. Tensai destroys Alex Riley and makes a great return, hope he gets a good push this time as he deserves it. After the match Tensai sprays something in his hand and locks the claw on Riley, hope that’s the last we see of Riley. Great, Tensai getting a “You suck” chant, not a good sign for his debut, damn fans. I guess they don’t like when they guys don’t all look the same, a little to conditioned by WWE.
2. Lord Tensai destroyed Alex Riley 3/10

More time wasted on John Cena’s old promos. Whatever, we know it’s back to business as usual for Cena and he’ll come out with his goofy grin and be all “ah shucks”.
3. Mark Henry v. CM Punk for the RAW Title

Why does Mark Henry keep getting title shots, they’ve killed him dead already with all the losses since losing the belt. Of course we get a recap of Punk insulting JL earlier in the night for those who have short attention spans. Was toolbox the best insult they could come up with for Punk, it sounds so stupid, blame the PG era. Punk tries to use his speed but Henry works over the injured back of the champion. Henry slowly works over the champion, but Punk finally fights back with a series of strikes. Everytime Punk starts to comeback Henry overpowers him back down, as it’s pretty much been all Henry tonight. Punk connects with the strong kick to the side of the head and follows up with the Macho Man elbowdrop but that hurts his back. After two big running knees to the face, Punk goes for the bulldog however Henry catches him and tosses Punk to the floor and gets counted out. 6.5/10 a pretty good match actually, better then expected, but did nothing to help push Punk. After the match Henry realizes he won the match but not the title and goes after Punk, hitting the World’s Strongest Slam on the floor. The crowd begins chanting for Lesnar, as JL comes out and says he wants to give the crowd what they want more title matches. JL says there is a natural disaster brewing for Punk, and here comes Chris Jericho from the crowd and says it’s time to celebrate their match with a drink. Jericho says he will lead Punk down the road to alcoholism and pours a bottle of Jack Daniels all over Punk then dropkicks him into the post. This is like the Jake Roberts and Jerry Lawler feud from 1995, as Jericho pulls out another bottle smashes it over Punk’s head. Glad to see this feud is going to continue as that was the best match of Wrestlemania.
3. Mark Henry defeated CM Punk by countout 6.5/10

We get highlights from the Smackdown title match between Sheamus and Daniel Bryan from Wrestlemania. What a waste of what could’ve been a great match, and that leads us to the introduction of Sheamus and it sounded like the crowd was booing him. Just as Sheamus starts to talk he gets cut off by Ricardo Rodriguez who introduces the returing Alberto Del Rio, which is great to see. ADR says as quick as he won the title he will lose it as he has a new challenger who doesn’t hide behind a chica. Sheamus threatens ADR, who says he’s not looking for a fight but on Smackdown he gets a match with Sheamus and if he wins he gets a title match. ADR keeps having issues with his microphone and grabs another one from RR, then turns around into a brough kick from Sheamus. Backstage we see Daniel Bryan and AJ watching on the monitor and Josh Matthews asks how upset he is about the quick loss and DB just stares at Josh. We see the guy who brought out John Cena at Wrestlemania and the crowd booes him.
4. Cody Rhodes v. Kofi Kingston

The former IC champion comes out, wearing something it looks like he bought at Jeff Jarrett’s yard sale. Kofi starts out quick with a nice series of moves before running into a Beautiful Disaster kick. As Cody pulls Kofi to his feet we’re interrupted by Big Show’s music, and Show says he has something to show Cody, and it’s the clip of Cody being knocked out from Wrestlemania. Cody turns around and eats a Trouble in Paradise kick from Kofi, scoring Kofi the win. 3/10 not really a match, as Show got involved in less then a minute. Hope they have good plans for Cody, as these losses are not good. Was hoping he would be the next World Title Challenger.
4. Kofi Kingston defeated Cody Rhodes with the Trouble in Paradise Kick 3/10

I’ll be so glad when I never have to hear that damn song from Wrestlemania, what a crappy song that is. Backstage we see Mark Henry tearing apart the backstage area and out comes Abraham Washington? When was the last time we see Abraham on TV? AW says it’s time for a change and it’s time for Henry to put some muscle with the hustle and for him to represent Henry. AW hands Henry his card as the crowd chants “Who Are You”. Now we get highlights from Wrestlemania, at least they didn’t play the crappy music over it. Eve makes her way out, to a loud Hoski chant, evil Eve is much hotter then good Eve. Eve says she got her Wrestlemania moment by manipulating Zack Ryder and says it was easy, but it’s easy for her to manipulate any man. More recaps of earlier in the night, they waste too much time on recaps on this show.
5. The Miz v. Zack Ryder

Michael Cole quickly starts screaming about how great the Miz is and calls Ryder a loser. Cole calls Eve the hottest woman on the planet, not a chance. Zack clobbers the Miz from behind and starts pummeling him as the announcers mention John Cena has arrived. Nice of Cena to join us about ninety minutes into the show. Miz tries to make a comeback but Zack is relentless tonight, showing some Ruthless Agression, as he nails the Broski Boot and almost beats the former World Champion. Zack gets tossed into the ringpost and Miz quickly hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the win. 4/10 was all Zack as Miz got two moves in the whole match.
5. The Miz pinned Zack Ryder with the SCF 4/10

Great that damn song again, I can’t wait till I never have to hear this crap again. It’s haunting me now, every commercial break we have to hear that piece of garbage. It’s time for our Main Event Interview as here comes John Cena, to a chorus of boos. Hey, no smile from Super Cena, as he comes out in sad Cena mode. Did he sign an endorsement deal with John Deere? Someone had a great sign that called Cena “The People’s Chump” which is awesome. Cena says he’s talked a lot about Wrestlemania, and says he meant everything he said. Cena says he won’t make excuses as the crowd chants “What a loser” at Cena, see this is why he needs to do the heel turn but he won’t. The Green Goblin says he will own up and admit to losing to the Rock and points up the schmuck who introduced him at Wrestlemania and says he will wipe the slate clean and be the best he can be. Robin Hood says he won’t be calling out the Rock, and we get a very loud “We Want Lesnar” chant, and Cena says it’s an interesting crowd. The Rock gets invited back down to the ring as he earned John Cena’s respect, I bet that made the Rock’s life complete. The Lesnar chants are getting louder the more Cena talks, but he won’t acknowledge them at all, as he keeps drifting back to the Rock, making him sound obsessed. Now we get a Daniel Bryan chant, as Cena says this is why he loves Raw and wants a minute to acknowledge Rock is the better man. Cena looks up the ramp and instead of the Rock’s music we get Brock Freakin Lesner’s music!!!!!! The place explodes as Brock makes his appearance at the top of the ramp. Brock makes his way to the ring, as Cena watches him with a grin. This was the most leaked secret ever, which kind of sucks, but that’s the problem with the internet everything leaks now. Brock gets in the ring and offers a hand to Cena, as Cena goes to shake his hand Lesnar lifts him up and nails the F5. Cena is left laid out by “The Next Big Thing” who makes his big return.
1. Santino Marella defeated Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger to retain the US Title 5/10

2. Lord Tensai destroyed Alex Riley 3/10

3. Mark Henry defeated CM Punk by countout 6.5/10

4. Kofi Kingston defeated Cody Rhodes with the Trouble in Paradise Kick 3/10

5. The Miz pinned Zack Ryder with the SCF 4/10

This was not the show to watch if you were looking for high quality matches, but since when has RAW been about the matches anyway. The whole show was built around one thing, waiting for Brock Lensar to return. It was leaked back on Saturday online, and that was the only thing I was looking forward to. Was excited to see A-Train back, but Riley was the wrong opponent and the match went too long. Should’ve been a thirty second squash like Brodus has been doing over someone like Yoshi Tatsu, does he even work in WWE anymore? Glad to see Brodus finally has a storyline, he’s been doing squashes for a while, so it’s time to use him more. I figure we have a tag match on Smackdown with Santino and Clay versus Dolph and Jack, leading to a four way at Extreme Rules. Other then that the rest of the show was recaps of Wrestlemania with one of the worst songs ever constantly playing, would’ve rather had Tiny Tim’s hit “Tiptoe through the Tulips” as the theme over that piece of crap. Anyways, the usual lackluster WWE show but a great ending and I’m so glad to see Brock back, he’s been missed. Although even before Saturday is return should not have been a surprise considering he was in the most recent WWE game, was just a matter of getting out of the UFC. Back with the next Coliseum Video show tomorrow and Smackdown later this week.

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