Chris' Blog

WWE RAW – October 10, 2011

After last weeks horribly bad episode of RAW, which featured 3 squash matches, one non-match and a very good main event, we ended with one of the oddest angles I’ve ever seen. Basically everyone walked out of RAW, other then the golden children, including Divas, referees and the announcers. Then everyone is on Smackdown, with the lame excuse being HHH is not on Smackdown. So, is HHH the COO of the entire company, or just RAW, if just RAW does that make him the anonymous GM or are we supposed to forget that? This angle has plot holes you could drive the Millennium Falcon through, as last night RAW they said the locker rooms were empty. So are we getting two hours of HHH, Cena and Orton tonight? Or maybe they can pull some legends out for some goofy matches, Sheik, Duggan, Muraco, Slaughter, etc? The biggest problem is that we have a PPV in two weeks, and once again no matches announced as far as RAW goes. That’s the problem with so many PPVs, there is no time to build anything as they have to burn through the story so they can have another PPV. Also next week is the much hyped RAW from Mexico, which means they have to finish this storyline tonight, so ADR can be on the show next week. That was the whole point behind putting the title on ADR. I’m starting to think the WWE is booking on a napkin each week, as the storylines make as much sense as TNA lately. I can’t wait to see how they fix this mess, I expect Vince back ASAP. Let’s see how WWE gets themselves out of this mess, and maybe we can have a match announced for the PPV?

We open the show with a recap of last week’s thrilling main event promo, that achieved nothing but getting HHH over as the sympathetic face. Glad the didn’t replay Beth’s comments about being “Just a girl”, as that was pathetic coming from her. Nice sappy sad music played as everyone walks out on HHH, with JR being last. Now we’re live and there is no one at the announce booth, well how we going to know where we’re coming from? The halls are empty, but at least we have cameramen! We see Triple H coming out of his office, maybe he can announce, ref, and wrestle all at the same time! The lemmings quickly start a HHH chant, why cheer the guy who caused everyone to walk out? PLOT HOLE! It’s time to play the game, as HHH makes his way out, well the show is much better without Michael Cole and Booker T talking at least. It’s funny there’s actually a Booker T commentary Bingo Game, you could fill the card in one show. HHH says he showed up, and the fans showed up, and last week he saw something he thought he’d never see, everyone walking out on him, which the crowd boos. That’s why Kelly, Orton and Cena were not out there, they didn’t want them getting booed. HHH says they walked out on the fans and now they’re in the parking lot holding a rally as he mocks the wrestlers. Shouldn’t the authority figure be the villain in this whole thing, love how Triple H can make everything about him and how he’s the good guy. Triple H asks if he should walk away or quit, and the crowd says no, guess they want two hours of HHH talking. HHH says he’s not a quitter, no he just siphons onto anyone else to get himself over, see Booker T or Chris Jericho. HHH tells the entire roster to kiss his ass and he’ll wrestle for two hours himself, and he can get a better match with a broomstick then the guys outside. Way to bury the entire roster HHH, this sucks so far, and it gets worse as here comes the smiling moron, John Cena. Look, Cena has a serious face tonight, let’s see how long that lasts before the stupid jokes start. Cena says there is a reason he wasn’t involved with the groups decision last week and makes sure to note that the walkout would mean more if he was involved. Cena talks about HHH being an ego maniac, pot meet kettle. Cena mentions Vince McMahon and Eric Bischoff, Vickie Guerrero, the stupid General Managers, the anonymous GM and Mike Adamle, and says he’s staying because he loves RAW. Here comes Sheamus to join the first annual HHH Kiss my Ass party, I’m surprised he’s not waving and kissing babies on his way out. Sheamus mentions taking out HHH a year ago, and then got his ass kicked by HHH at Wrestlemania. Sheamus says he won’t sit out back with all the losers but will be part of RAW, cue Punk or Orton next. It’s Punk this time, who says he started this whole thing and he’s been the epicenter of everything and made walking out cool. Punk takes a shot at everyone backstage as well, this is dragging on longer than Titanic. Punk says he deals with everything himself and he’s not walking out, then asks now what? Maybe a Triple Threat match? HHH says we do what we do on RAW, fight. Sheamus will face John Cena tonight, and HHH will referee, and Punk can do commentary. Punk asks if he can wear HHH’s blazer, HHH says yes, and Punk says he’s in. HHH says Punk needs to do commentary and ring the bell, double pay. Twenty plus minutes wasted to get to our first ‘match’, which will probably be a joke.

1. John Cena v. Sheamus with HHH as referee

Punk welcomes us to Oklahoma City, and compares himself to Bob Uecker. Punk may save this whole debacle, as he throws it to commercial thirty seconds into the match. We come back and Sheamus is on the offense. Punk calls this bizarro world, as we’re interrupted by “No Chance in Hell” as here come Mr. McMahon to save this waste of airtime.

John Cena and Sheamus go to a sports entertainment finish DUD

Vince gets in the ring and apologizes for breaking up the match and says he wants a word with HHH, as the fans chant “You got fired”. Great TV as we get more talking now, as Sheamus, Cena and Punk head backstage. Vince says he believes in HHH’s style and he’s having fun watching the shows, but the guys outside don’t and once again knocks the entire roster. Vince said he met with the Board and that they’re worried about live events and Wrestlemania being canceled due to this. This whole thing is basically a satire of what’s going on in NYC with people protesting. Vince tells HHH he’s fired and no longer running RAW, no McMahon will be running RAW and the board is looking for an unbiased permanent GM. Maybe we can get Piper returning? Vince says we have an interim GM, John Laurinaitis, who comes out on stage as we go to commercial. We come back as JL welcomes everyone back in the building, that’s how you burn through a storyline quickly. Morrison says he should be careful what he wishes for as HHH is a narcissist, but JL sucks. JL says Morrison has a match now, and to get to the ring. Christian of course kisses up to JL, and says he will face Morrison tonight. Back to the ringside area, and here comes Jim Ross to the announce booth, great hope he’s not followed by Booker and Cole. Here comes Lawler, at least that’s better than Booker, and of course Cole, who says everyone is here for him. Over thirty minutes into the show we get our first true match.

2. John Morrison v. Christian

Christian comes out with Swagger, Cody and Ziggler, and both guys are in street clothes. Mere seconds in and Michael Cole is just annoying. Morrison distracted by Dolph and Christian hits the spear for the easy win. Morrison gets squashed again, how long till he gets out of this company?

Christian squashed John Morrison with the spear DUD

After the match Cody, Dolph and Jack get in the ring, and we get a four on one beat down as each guy hits their finisher on Morrison. Best of luck on your future endeavors Morrison. Cole says this is the way it should be, and we get two main events tonight; ADR faces CM Punk and Randy Orton takes on Mark Henry. No mention if they’re title matches, but if not I expect Henry and ADR to job, as we go right to the next match.

3. Mark Henry v. Randy Orton non title

Before the match we go backstage to JL on his phone talking to someone, and HHH comes in. JL says he didn’t want the job and was appointed, and will make sacrifices for the WWE. HHH asks if he ever tried to pick up his teeth with broken fingers, and storms off. Back to the ring, as the crowd has had to listen to Henry’s music the whole time. Henry says he is the most dominant Champion of all time and backs down from no one. Henry says he will face anyone who’s number one contender, and Big Show is not, as we get highlights from Smackdown. Big Show putting Henry through a table was not the best way to build up Henry, I guess Henry faces Show at the next PPV. Henry gets interrupted by Randy Orton who says Vengeance is his. The match was almost all Orton, till Cody rushed in. Orton tosses Cody out, blocks the World’s Strongest Slam and hits the RKO. Cody quickly back in and draws the DQ. A boring match as usual with Orton, this feud needs to end as Henry is so much better then this.

Randy Orton defeated Mark Henry via DQ when Cody Rhodes got involved DUD

After the match Cody goes after Orton, but Orton powerslams Cody down. Orton has both guys down and quickly hits the RKO on Cody, but Cody shoves him off, right into Henry. Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam, and follows up with another one. Henry leaves with his title, while Orton is down in the ring. Cody slides back in and helps Orton up, before nailing Cross Rhodes on Orton. Cody calls out his bagger, and places the bag over Orton’s head. Cody, The Beautiful People called and want their gimmick back, just saying. Cody says cut the head off the viper and the venom goes with it, and asks if he wants a receipt with his paper bag. Now it’s highlights of Kelly snapping last week on Beth, if this leads to Kelly’s heel turn it might be good, make her a lunatic and she could be entertaining, just stop yelling.

4. Kelly Kelly & Eve v. Rosa Mendes & Tamina

Yikes, this could be the worst match of the year. Rosa’s my favorite Diva in the company, as long as she doesn’t wrestle. She looks great, but is brutally bad in the ring. Tamina doesn’t impress me, and Eve bores me. Kelly is annoying, but like I said if we get a heel turn, she could be fun to watch. Kelly quickly starts yelling and messes up the handspring elbow, as Rosa was out of position. Tamina tagged in and Kelly Yelly hits the Thesz press, but Tamina gets a knee in for the advantage. Eve tagged in and hits her crappy offense. Kelly takes out Rosa outside, as Cole as breaking news, JL is on Twitter. Eve hits the moonsault on Tamina for the win. It was quick at least, but typical piss poor diva action, yawn.

Eve and Kelly beat Rosa and Tamina after Eve hit the moonsault on Tamina DUD

After the match, I’m getting tired of typing that tonight, here comes JL to the ring. He tells the divas to get out of the ring, and asks for the fans respect. I would’ve preferred Road Warrior Animal as the GM. JL announces at the PPV ADR will defend against John Cena, great another title reign for John Cena next week. He then calls Jim Ross in the ring, that’s right we’re in Oklahoma and we always have to humiliate JR in his hometown. Jim Ross gets in the ring, and JL says last week JR walked out on HHH and the fans. JL calls Ross a hayseed ingrate, as Cole is having a blast laughing. JL fires Jim Ross, how many damn times can they fire the poor guy? Cole and Lawler walked out too, PLOT HOLE, as Cole calls this the greatest night in RAW history. This show is going downhill fast.

5. Mason Ryan, Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne v. Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger and David Otunga

This won’t make the show any better, Ryan sucks worse then Kelly Kelly. Air Boom now has new music, maybe they can keep a tag team longer then a few months. Why does Otunga keep getting TV time? Kofi playing Ricky Morton this week, at least they’re keeping Mason’s involvement to a minimum. Mason tagged in and destroys Ziggler and Otunga saves the match, as all six in the ring. Awesome powerbomb from Swagger on Bourne. Mason hits the pendulum slam on Ziggler for the win. Not a bad match, but too short, and would’ve been better just Air Boom versus Swiggler.

Mason & Air Boom defeated Team Vickie when Mason pinned Dolph 3/10

Cole and Lawler talk about the new WWE network, the fans can vote on the first show for the network. Now it’s a Brodus Clay promo, hope they don’t mess this up. Damn, another crappy John Cena movie, as we waste more time with a trailer for this crap.

6. Alberto Del Rio v. CM Punk non title

Never wanted a show to end faster then I want this to end, this has been worse then last week. Not surprisingly this has been a pretty good match, other than the stupid commentators. Just as the match is getting good here comes JL who wants the match stopped and says as GM this match is done and it’s a tag match. CM Punk and ADR will team against the two men he reinstated, Miz and Truth I assume. Miz says we’re back, and Truth raps their way to the ring.

Alberto & Punk go to a sports entertainment finish DUD

7. Alberto Del Rio and CM Punk v. Miz & R-Truth

I bet ADR joins with Miz and Truth to attack Punk, and JL says they we’re all in it together. At this point I’d rather be watching GLOW, at least that was supposed to be goofy wrestling. This whole show has been one long drawn out joke so far. I wouldn’t be surprised if Cole is in on all this with JL, Truth, Miz, ADR and Team Vickie. ADR draws the short straw and gets to play quasi-face in peril tonight, but falls backwards and tags in Punk. ADR and Ricardo leave the ringside area, as ADR claims injury and limps backstage. Punk jumps in the ring and hammers Miz, but Truth gets a cheap shot in. Cole’s announcing is just horrible, and Lawler’s not much better. Truth and Miz get disqualified for double teaming Punk, ending this match. Another bad match tonight, this might be a record.

Punk & ADR beat Miz & Truth by DQ DUD

Miz and Truth hammer on Punk and out comes HHH for the save. HHH spears Truth down and hammers Miz in the corner. So HHH and Punk versus Miz & Truth at the PPV I bet. Triple H and Punk destroy Miz and Truth as we go backstage to Otunga and JL. Otunga says it was a good decision to bring back Miz and Truth. JL makes the match I predicted for the PPV, HHH & Punk versus Miz & Truth, as we go back to the ring and Punk and HHH shake hands.

Match Recap:

1. John Cena and Sheamus go to a sports entertainment finish DUD

2. Christian squashed John Morrison with the spear DUD

3. Randy Orton defeated Mark Henry via DQ when Cody Rhodes got involved DUD

4. Eve and Kelly beat Rosa and Tamina after Eve hit the moonsault on Tamina DUD

5. Mason & Air Boom defeated Team Vickie when Mason pinned Dolph 3/10

6. Alberto & Punk go to a sports entertainment finish DUD

7. Punk & ADR beat Miz & Truth by DQ DUD

Easily the worst episode of RAW in recent history. There was nothing redeemable about this show, as we open with HHH and end with HHH, welcome back to early 2001. That was a complete waste of two hours, but at least we have some matches announced for the PPV. Not anything that I’d want to see, but matches at least. When Mason Ryan and David Otunga are in the match of the night, you know it’s a bad show. I got nothing else to say about this abomination of a show. Smackdown might be better at least, as I hear we’re getting a 41 man battle royal. Nothing TNA can air could be worse then this show was, even Hulk Hogan versus Sting next Sunday will be more fun then this.


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