Chris' Blog

WWE Hell In a Cell – October 2, 2011

With only two weeks of buildup from the previous PPV, Night of Champions, tonights show looks like just a series of rematches. I think two weeks just is not enough time to build a PPV. They would’ve been better off canceling this show, and waiting till Vengeance, which is in three weeks. I expect by the end of the show all three golden children of Vince, Cena, Orton and Kelly, will win/retain the gold. Personally they should have kept the belt on CM Punk, instead of switching it to Del Rio so quickly. He was a paper champion, who got no respect or opportunity to do anything with the title. It seems like they put it on him just to move it back to Cena, which did nothing but put us right back where we were before the Cena/Punk storyline. It’s too bad, because the had a chance to do something amazing with the CM Punk saga, and instead they wasted it by adding in HHH and Nash, who should not be on TV at this point in his career, and then made Punk lose to HHH. There is just so many things that the WWE has done wrong recently, but the one thing they were doing right, up until the last Smackdown, was Mark Henry. Unfortunately they blew it on Smackdown by having Orton RKO the champion, which was a huge mistake. The whole story of Henry destroying Orton was working, but then Orton had to get back his heat, aka the fifty-fifty booking that is killing the business. They should have left Henry as the big unstoppable monster, at least till the Rumble, instead of letting Orton hit his finisher so early in the story. It’s too bad we have a PPV and no Ted DiBiase, no Cody Rhodes, Tyson Kidd, Tyler Reks, Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, Miz, Truth, etc. Although they may have added Air Boom versus Team Vickie, but it was not announced before the show, so going in we had a huge group of talent left off the show. Anyways, let’s get to the PPV and hope for something good to come from it, like Henry, Beth and Punk walking out with the belts.

We get the usual over-hyped promo video to start the PPV, which includes Mick Foley, maybe a preview of tonight? Michael Cole opens the show, alongside Jim Ross and Booker T. Great, three hours of Booker, this is Hell. I guess Jerry Lawler is still suffering from rectal bleeding, stupid Vince and his obsession with men’s asses. Good to see we open with Captain Charisma, the Canadian Icon, Christian!

1. Christian lost to Sheamus 6.5/10

During Christian’s introduction we see Miz and R-Truth in the crowd, which brings out John Laurinaitis. JL tries to throw them out, but Miz shows his ticket, and they’re escorted out anyways, to the crowd chanting “Let them stay”. Of course everyone knows they’ll be back later, probably joining Otunga and his little group of midcarders. Very impressive they way Sheamus pulled himself to the top rope to hit the flying shoulderblock. Not something you normally see from a guy that big. Christian misses the third spear, crashing into the buckles, then turns around into the big Brogue Kick, giving Sheamus the win in our opener. A good opening match, it’s too bad Christian had to lose again though. Some good moments in the match, but still not liking the face Sheamus.

We go backstage to Matt Striker, who’s joined by Mark Henry. Henry makes fun of Striker and promises the Orton will join the hall of pain.

2. Sin Cara Blue defeated Sin Cara Black 7/10

This could be an entire episode of Botchamania, with no chance of editing there could be a lot of screwed up moves. At least they were smart enough to make them have different colors, or this would be a real mess. I hate the goofy lighting for Cara, it reminds me of Kane’s old red lights when he debuted. The crowd chanting “boring” is hilarious, as this hasn’t been all bad so far, could’ve been a lot worse. Sin Cara Blue misses the senton, but rolls through onto his feet, then catches Sin Cara Black with an unusual looking roll up for the win. Was expecting a lot worse, but wasn’t bad actually. Didn’t seem to be any botches, which is a good thing, and has some impressive moves, but the yellow has to go.

CM Punk is backstage getting ready, and here comes lawyer Otunga. Otunga says he represents the rights of the wrestlers, and that includes Punk, who says he doesn’t need him. Punk makes fun of Otunga’s sweater and bow-tie and tells him to vanish. Does every WWE PPV have to have crappy music as the theme? Is that a legal requirement nowadays? Hey, look an unadvertised match, and it’s a title match. Titles are just so important in the WWE that they don’t even have to advertise the matches!

3. Air Boom defeated Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler to retain Tag Titles 9/10

Michael Cole says the team name is the fans fault, and maybe the worst team name since Harlem Heat. Here comes the only heel whose heat has not been destroyed by Cena, HHH or Orton, Vickie Guerrero. I’d love to see her get a few more guys in her stable, ala the Heenan Family. Maybe Reks, Brodus and Tyson Kidd? I guess this means we’re not going to see Zack Ryder tonight, damn. I like how they call Vickie the most successful manager right now, not like she has any competition. So far this has been match of the night, an excellent back and forth tag team match. I’m glad they’re trying to fix the tag team division, it’s about time. I miss the days of the Hart Foundation, British Bulldogs, Killer Bees, Demolition, etc. Evan Bourne counters the Super Bomb attempt by Swagger into a hurricanrana for the victory. Jim Ross said it right, best tag team match on PPV in a long time. Awesome match between four amazing young talents, going to be hard to beat this for match of the night.

Great a commercial for HHH’s crappy movie, who cares. We come back as the cell is lowering, so we’re going to get one cell match, then the divas, followed by Cena’s match? Stupid, as they’re going to have to waste time lowering and raising the cell between each match, unless they put the divas in the cell, wishful thinking. They show highlights of Henry’s destruction, Kane, Big Show, Kozlov, Lawler and Khali. I’m still amazed that they’ve made Mark Henry entertaining, only took fifteen years!

4. Mark Henry defeated Randy Orton to retain the Smackdown title 5.25/10

Michael Cole says this is the 22nd Hell in a Cell match, doesn’t that kind of show how diluted they’ve made the match? These used to be feud enders, now they’re just another match on the card. Orton starts out quickly, but Henry catches him and tosses Orton into the steel cage. These matches really need blood, it’s supposed to be brutal. Henry has been destroying Orton for a bit now, but I still expect Orton to comeback. Does Orton realize what a moron he looks like when he makes those faces? Seriously Orton’s now pulling out the Thesz Press, when did he start doing that? Orton hits the elevated DDT on Mark Henry and then readies for the RKO, and hits it but Henry surprisingly kicks out, thought that was the end. Orton goes for the punt and Henry catches him in the World’s Strongest Slam for the victory. About as good as I expected it to be, hopefully we don’t get another rematch in three weeks. After the match Henry grabs a chair from under the ring and quickly hits another slam on Orton then sets the ankle in the chair. Of course Randy gets out of the way and nails Henry with the chair. Henry bails out and Orton chases after him and unloads on Henry with the chair. Way to bury the champion, so Henry wins but Orton gets to destroy him after the match and Henry runs away scared. At that point Orton might as well have won the damn match, blech. I’m taking a point away from the match for that garbage after the match, Orton should have been destroyed after the match and should be gone for a while.

Backstage to Josh Matthews with Alberto Del Rio, who says this is not fair and he’s not an animal or a criminal. ADR says he’s coming back from hell with the title. Now we get Mysterio’s silly toy commercial, seriously, it said does not include Rey Mysterio? Is this really an issue in the stores? Here comes the IC Champ, Cody Rhodes, along with his baggers. Cody grabs the microphone and says the current IC title should be put to rest and then dumps it in a bag. Cody grabs a velvet bag and debuts the new IC title, which is the old title that Steamboat once had, let’s hope this means they’re going to actually utilize it properly. Cody mentions Steamboat, Savage, Bret and Austin and has one of his baggers help put it on him. Cody makes the mistake of saying he’ll defend it anytime, and here comes Laurinaitis. JL says HHH demanded he come out there and inform Cody he will defend tonight against John Morrison!

5. Cody Rhodes defeated John Morrison to retain the IC title 9/10

This could be a classic, if given enough time, two more awesome young talents. Thought it was over before it began with the roll up, would’ve surprised me. I’m torn who to cheer for, both guys are phenomenal and the future of the business. Cody wraps himself around the post and tries to get counted out, that was clever, but John with a kick to the back sending Cody back in. This has been a great match as well tonight, I’m impressed with Cody Rhodes considering he’s in street clothes. JR actually calls Morrison’s kick the Pele, I’m impressed. Morrison goes for the flying Chuck, but Cody ducks and gets a quick roll up for the win. The second great match of the night, it’s actually sad that the best matches so far have been the unadvertised matches. I’d love to see another rematch between these two, as this was great.

Time for the stupid anti-bullying promo, will these ever end? Now over the HHH on the phone and JL comes running in and says they have a problem. JL says Truth and Miz have made it backstage and laid out Air Boom! Riley and Zeke run for the late save, as HHH threaten JL’s job.

6. Beth Phoenix defeated Kelly Kelly to win the Diva Title 7/10

If Beth loses it’s time for her to get the hell out of WWE. There is no way Kelly could possibly hold her own with Phoenix, but I bet Kelly wins and Eve turn on her, to give us that much anticipated Eve versus Kelly feud. Kelly quickly starts with her usual offense, yelling, but Beth able to shut her up with a backbreaker. Kelly on the defense with the patented yelling of doom. Am I alone in thinking Beth and Natalya are so much hotter than Kelly & Eve? Beth dominated until she missed a move and hits the ropes hard. Kelly back to her yelling as she drives Beth head into the buckle repeatedly and follow with a nice handspring elbow. I’ll give her credit for that move, she does that well actually. Kelly hits a diving bulldog off the top and Beth kicks out, thankfully. Natalya on the apron and Eve pulls her down, but pays for that as Eve eats the barricade. Kelly goes for the K2 but Beth counters and drops her on the top rope. Beth with that kickass submission hold from Monday as Kelly screams and Natalya taunts her on the microphone. Kelly makes the ropes and while the ref is distracted Natalya hits her with the microphone. Beth hits the Glam Slam for the victory, and true wrestling fans celebrate. Probably Kelly’s best match to date, as she held her own with Beth and the right person won the match.

Vengeance promo featuring Mark Henry destroying Sheamus, Show and Kane. Wonder if that means we’re getting a four way match at the PPV? Time to lower the cell again for the main event, as we get a recap of this long running, almost three months, feud. Unless I blinked they didn’t show Nash at all. I love how they show all these title reigns, but not Rey winning the tournament.

7. Alberto Del Rio beat CM Punk and John Cena to regain the RAW title 6.5/10

They lock the cage and Ricardo is on the outside as the bell rings, Del Rio slides out of the ring. Typical Cena match as we get the dueling chants, once again we really need some blood in this match. These PG matches are a waste of a gimmick, matches like these, TLC, Elimination Chamber, etc need blood to make them mean more. Punk sets up a table at ringside and tries to drive Cena through it, but Punk gets tossed into the chamber. As Cena gets back in the ring ADR catches him with the chair and follows up with a backbreaker through the chair. ADR places a chair on top of Cena and Punk on top of the chair, then climbs the ropes and hits the senton splash, kind of, he pretty much missed them both actually. ADR gets tossed over the ropes in the corner, and it sounded like he hit the steps, allowing Cena to hit the AA and covers Punk, but ADR makes the save. I love when Punk does the Randy Savage tribute elbow, so cool, but here comes SuperCena to destroy everyone as always. Punk catches Cena with a kick and climbs the ropes, but ADR catches him and sends Punk through the table he set up earlier. Cena of course into the STF, but Ricardo takes out the outside ref and gets in the cell. Cena catches RR and AAs him on the floor, which allows ADR to kick Cena out of the cell and locks it closed. ADR throws Punk back in the ring and hits a perfect German Suplex for a near fall. Punk reverses the second suplex but gets caught on the top rope, this is the way the match should have been one on one. Punk with the series of kicks, as Cena tries to get back in. Quick call Mark Henry, he can rip the door off the cell for him. ADR catches Punk with a lead pipe to the head, right in front of Cena. ADR slides in and gets caught in the GTS, but ADR counters using the pipe and covers Punk for the win. ADR is now a two time champion in a matter of weeks, the title is so meaningless now. Wasn’t a bad match, but really wasn’t good either, just sort of there. After the match Cena shows all the kids watching what a good role model he is, by attacking ADR from behind. Suddenly two guys in hoods, Truth and Miz, slide in and attack Cena. They attack the refs as HHH comes out and the cell goes down again. JL tries to get the cell up as HHH is going nuts around the ring. Now we got the locker room emptying and trying to open the cell. I see Sheamus, Sin Cara, Zeke, Cody, Dolph, Swagger, Riley, Evan, Kofi, etc. Cameraman goes down as well now, as Miz and Truth are tearing apart Cena, ADR, Punk and the refs. Otunga out there, as well as police as they finally cut the lock and the cops slide in and arrest Truth and Miz. The other cops hold back HHH and the rest of the locker room. Booker calls for street justice as they’re escorted past the roster, suddenly Triple H jumps on Miz. HHH takes out JL in the frenzy, as Cole screams the HHH should be arrested as well. Well, that was a hell of a way to end the show.

Match Recap

1. Christian lost to Sheamus 6.5/10

2. Sin Cara Blue defeated Sin Cara Black 7/10

3. Air Boom defeated Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler to retain Tag Titles 9/10

4. Mark Henry defeated Randy Orton to retain the Smackdown title 5.25/10

5. Cody Rhodes defeated John Morrison to retain the IC title 9/10

6. Beth Phoenix defeated Kelly Kelly to win the Diva Title 7/10

7. Alberto Del Rio beat CM Punk and John Cena to regain the RAW title 6.5/10

Overall not a bad show, other then the two “main events” which were boring. The best matches were the unadvertised matches, but considering the six talents in there, no surprise. The ending was a surprise though, and it was cool to see unity between the locker room as we had the faces and heels all out there together. I’d give the show a solid 7/10 overall, and I like the whole story with Miz & Truth, let’s just hope they don’t blow it, like they did with the Nexus, Punk, etc. Glad to see none of the “golden children” left with gold tonight, maybe it’s time for the change? Back tomorrow with the ROH recap, and Lucha Libra USA coming soon.


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