Chris' Blog


WWE RAW – September 26, 2011

Only eight days removed from Night of Champions PPV, and six days from Hell in a Cell PPV, comes this week RAW. I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but who thought it was a good idea to have two PPVs two weeks apart anyway? Then three weeks later we get another PPV, Vengeance, so in a five week span we have three PPVs, just a little overkill Vince. Over five weeks the writers have to come up with 9 hours of PPV and 30 hours of television, not counting how many rewrites they have to do. No wonder the writing is so bad, these guys are burned out from all this. I still say it was better when we had four PPVs a year, at least they meant something back then. Of course we didn’t have the champion on TV every week back then either. Nowadays we see Cena every week on TV, always overcoming the odds, and every PPV. I’d like to see them go back to the four PPV model, and make the lesser shows like the old Clash of Champions, recaps coming by the way, on free TV on Saturday nights. Keep the champions off the regular shows, let them work the dark match for the live audience, but make seeing the big stars a special treat. I don’t know, guess I’m just stuck in the old style of wrestling, much like Jim Cornette, but it worked for so many years. Well, enough ranting about how the eighties was better, it just was, let’s get to Monday Night Cena.

Tonight we have Alberto Del Rio facing CM Punk in the main event, not sure which way to go with that. Punk is awesome, but ADR really needs a win, as he looks like a jobber nowadays. Great, Booker filling in for the King, this is going to be painful to listen to, as we see the Cell hanging over the ring. That always freaks me out, I’m always afraid it’s going to fall or something, just ominous when they do that.

Wouldn’t be Raw without Triple H opening the show, as we see highlights from last week of the ‘firing’ of Miz and Truth. HHH says he didn’t fire them for his ego, as we get footage from after the PPV, in Blair Witch style. HHH tells Truth and Miz they’re full of crap and he used them for the main event and then fired them, and it’s on both of them. The fine will be paid by Mark Henry for attacking Jim Ross and injuring Jerry Lawler, as HHH continues, by saying no one is bigger then the WWE and he does what is right for the WWE. Thankfully he gets interrupted by Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler. Dolph asks HHH what he’s going to do for him, as Wolverine fractured his jaw last week, and we get more highlights. It’s good to know if you miss an episode you don’t miss anything. HHH responds by saying he’s not sure what Dolph wants, as Dolph picked a fight and get punched in his glass jaw. Way to bury the young guys HHH, didn’t you already bury him enough when he was in the Spirit Squad? Well, here comes Cody Rhodes to join the fun, who says he got nine staples from getting hit with the bell by Randy Orton, and asks why Orton wasn’t punished. HHH says they should have stapled his mouth, and reminds the fans he buried Orton once too. Is this ever going to end, as here comes Christian who says Sheamus cost him the World title on Friday. Christian asks HHH how is that fair, and HHH insults Christian now. How long till HHH starts his own kiss my ass club? Christian asks Cody and Dolph to join him in a lawsuit against the WWE, unless he gets another match. HHH says that’s fine he gets a match on Sunday, against Sheamus, and this Friday against Randy Orton, and tonight against John Cena. Christian asks is it for the title, and HHH says no, so Christian storms out and says it’s unacceptable. Dolph says once again HHH won’t do the right thing, HHH says he will as Dolph will defend the US title against Zack Ryder tonight. Dolph and Vickie leave the ring, as HHH tells Cody since he has a zipper on his head he gets the night. Cody responds by telling HHH he can have the night off too. Cody says HHH is a poor excuse for a COO, so HHH makes Cody defend the title tonight. Cody tells HHH to resign, and HHH makes it a fatal four way, and his match starts now. The first nine guys HHH finds will face Cody in a battle royal. Wow, almost twenty minutes of the show spent to set up matches where Triple H screws over all the heels. They could’ve condensed this to less then half the time, and gave the matches more time, but this entertains Vince more, and give HHH more TV time, which is all cares about.

1. Cody Rhodes won a 10 Man Battle Royal to retain the IC Title 7/10

So, our combatants are Cody Rhodes, John Morrison, Justin Gabriel, Alex Riley, Daniel Bryan, Ted DiBiase, Drew McIntyre, Ezekiel Jackson, Sin Cara, and Sheamus. So it’s a bunch of jobbers and Sheamus. Well, I expect Christian to screw Sheamus, and leave us with nine jobbers. As long is it’s not Sin Cara that wins. Going for Drew, John, Ted or Zeke personally. The bell rings and Cody bails out, under the ropes, as the first out is Drew McIntyre via Ezekiel Jackson, after being beat down by everyone. Once again, who the hell did Drew piss off to get this treatment? Sin Cara II gets involved and pulls out Sin Cara I, who DB eliminates. So does that mean Sin is out, I guess so as the refs won’t let him, this makes no sense. Meanwhile Ted slides out and attacks Cody on the floor before throwing in finally. Gabriel and Riley fight on the apron, so Sheamus boots Riley off the apron to the floor, then clobbers Gabriel taking him out. Zeke eliminates Daniel Bryan and John Morrison by himself, that reminded me of when Bigelow did that to Bob Orton and Hercules in a battle royal years ago. So we’re down to four already, Zeke, Sheamus, Ted and Cody. Cody catches Ted on the top rope and shoves him to the floor, Zeke almost gets rid of Cody, but Cody pulls down the ropes sending Zeke to the floor. Sheamus and Cody are all that’s left, Christian should make an appearance, I was right, as he distracts Sheamus. Wouldn’t it be better for Christian if Sheamus won, then his match would be for the IC title? Just saying is all. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick and falls to the apron. Cody pulls off the mask and tries to eliminate Sheamus but Sheamus blocks, Christian distracts Sheamus again, allowing Cody to knock him down for the win. After the match Christian attacks Sheamus and leaves him laid out.

After the commercial we come back to Jim Ross, Booker and Michael Cole, as we recap the injuries to the King from last week. Ross says Lawler will be back last week, Cole says he got an update and says Lawler has anal bleeding. Really Vince, ass jokes, still, so pathetic. Speaking of pathetic, here’s David Otunga and John Laurinaitis. Otunga says HHH has gone to far, and JL needs to do something, JL says Otunga has a law degree and should do something. Otunga says everyone is coming to him for legal help, JL says he’ll use him influence, as Otunga leaves JL pulls out his cell phone. We now get a video for Kelly, unless she’s topless I don’t care. She’s useless in the ring and needs to disappear, send her off to wherever the hell Horseface, aka McCool went to, and never let either come back. They have Beth, Natalya and Gail Kim to use, and instead it’s always Kelly and Eve or the Bella Twins.

2. Kelly & Eve lost to Beth Phoenix & Natalya 5/10

Does anyone even care about this storyline anymore, they’ve buried Beth so much it’s pointless now. Nice double press slam on Eve, they should have tossed her to the floor. Beth hits the Glam Slam on Kelly and finally scores a win over the bleach blond bimbo. It was short and the right person one, that’s about all I can say about this match.

3. Mark Henry and The Great Khali No Contest

Wow, this could be the worst match of the year, has Khali ever had a good match though? Henry cracks Khali in the back of the head with the title before the match begins. Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam on the big man and that’s that. Well, that was much better than anticipated.

Now it’s thrilling footage of John Cena walking backstage, as he head to the ring. Cena says we must be close to Hell in a Cell, as he points at the cell, how observant of the worst World Champion ever. Great, Cena has the microphone. prepare for stupid jokes and goofy puns directed at five year olds. I can’t decide who cuts a worse promo, John Cena or HHH, both men love to bury their opponent before and after the match, making them look useless, and both like to make stupid jokes. It’s almost like someone is writing their promos backstage, but that can’t happen, right? Here comes ADR and CM Punk for commentary, as it’s time for Cena to bury someone.

4. John Cena defeated Christian 2/10

Christian beats on Cena for a while, Cena comes back goes for the AA and ADR hits a kick on Cena drawing the DQ. Before coming in the ring ADR clocked Punk at ringside, as ADR quickly heads up the ramp and says it’s his destiny to become champion again. Why not, make him a two time champion, not like it means a damn thing anyway. A boring lackluster match, knowing ADR would get involved, just had to wait for it. Nothing to see here, drive on through.

5. Dolph Ziggler beat Zack Ryder to retain the US Title 6/10

I’m glad their giving Zack a chance to get himself over, he’s impressive and fun to watch. I expect he wins by DQ, and we get the rematch at the PPV Sunday. Dolph comes out with Vickie and Jack Swagger, so Swagger will get involved. Before the match, let’s see more highlights from last week of Wolverine knocking out Ziggler. The match starts with Dolph completely destroying Zack Ryder, but Dolph misses a charge in the corner and now it’s Zack’s turn. Vickie on the apron, distracts the ref and Swagger nails Zack allowing Dolph to hit the Zig Zag for the win. Dolph and Jack shake hands after the match, and then proceed to go after Ryder, but Air Boom makes the save and we have insta-feud. Here comes Teddy Long, Long tells Vickie to find a partner for Dolph and Jack as we have a six man after the break, and if she can’t find a partner it’s a handicap match.

6. Zack Ryder & Air Boom beat Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger & ??? 7.5/10

We come back from commercial and no Vickie yet, so it’s a handicap match as the bell rings. Michael Cole says it’s anarchy around here now and everyone is on a power trip. This commentary is brutal tonight, Cole and Booker are so close to unbearable it’s insane. Dolph and Jack have had the advantage so far, as Evan Bourne is playing the part of Ricky Morton tonight. Evan makes the tag finally and in comes Kofi Kingston, as we still have no Vickie, which is a good thing. Vickie comes down the aisle finally with Mason Ryan, wait now he’s a heel again, what the hell? This company makes about as much sense as TNA does. Meanwhile Kofi and Swagger been going at it, and it’s been pretty good as Zack finally back in. Zack’s going to get killed by Ryan inevitably. Here comes Ryan, who proceeds to beat down Swagger and Ziggler instead, as Mini Batista destroys Dolph and Vickie is flipping out. Zack hits the Rough Ryder on Dolph for the victory! Surprisingly a good match, as we had five guys who are the future of the company, and Ryan who they’d rather push. How long till Mason gets a title, I’ll put my money on Summerslam 2012 at the latest.

Now we get the Hell in a Cell promo again and a recap of the matches at the PPV. They should have put the Divas in the Cell, that would have been great. Backstage to Otunga with Christian, Ziggler, Vickie & Cody Rhodes, as Otunga says this place has unsafe work conditions.

7. CM Punk beat Alberto Del Rio 6/10

John Cena at ringside on commentary as we have twelve minutes left for the main event. Punk throws ADR into Cena, as it’s been all Punk so far. Punk throws ADR in the ring and distracted by Cena, allowing ADR to get the advantage. Come back from commercial as Punk goes for the GTS, but ADR counters with a DDT. ADR misses a dive and winds up outside the ring, Punk catches him coming in and scores a near fall. ADR goes for the DDT again, but Punk counters with a pair of kicks for the win. So ADR jobs to the kicks, doesn’t bode well for him on Sunday. He’s heading into John Morrison territory. Not a very exciting match, was kind of boring and wasn’t surprised Punk won. After the match the Cell starts to lower, as Ricardo slides in and attacks Punk. Punk turns around and Ricardo bails out, right into Cena, who bullies RR as the cell comes down and RR is in the cell with Punk and Cena. Cena throws RR in the ring and a GTS into the AA for RR. Punk goes for the GTS and Cena counters, Cena goes for the AA and ADR slides in with a chair. ADR unloads on both men with the chair then wedges the chair in the corner before tossing Punk into it. The show ends with ADR standing tall over Cena and Punk, I bet that doesn’t happen on Sunday.

Match Recap:

1. Cody Rhodes won a 10 Man Battle Royal to retain the IC Title 7/10

2. Kelly & Eve lost to Beth Phoenix & Natalya 5/10

3. Mark Henry and The Great Khali No Contest

4. John Cena defeated Christian 2/10

5. Dolph Ziggler beat Zack Ryder to retain the US Title 6/10

6. Zack Ryder & Air Boom beat Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger & ??? 7.5/10

7. CM Punk beat Alberto Del Rio 6/10

Overall a very lackluster episode of RAW as there wasn’t a lot of good. The battle royal was fun, but ultimately pointless, as was the six man tag. This 50/50 booking is stupid, so Zack can’t win the singles match, but can win the six man? So, how’s that make Ryder look credible? Christian came off looking weak as well, as Cena had him beat until ADR got involved. So I assume we’re going to get Air Boom versus Swagger and Dolph added to the PPV. Really not a good episode tonight, but like I said in the beginning, the writers have way too much to write and it makes the shows suffer. I’ll give this week a 5/10, just barely a pass, but nothing worth watching here other than the six man tag. It’s nice to see them trying to build some teams, let’s hope they can last more then a couple months. Hopefully be back tomorrow with SHIMMER.

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