Chris' Blog

TNA Impact – September 22, 2011

Well, since I can’t find Superstars yet, and I’m waiting for Smackdown, we’ll start with Impact. TNA has been pretty bad lately, which is sad considering the talent they have, they seem hell bent on pushing Sting, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, and other old guys. It’s too bad, because if they would push their young talent like AJ Styles, Matt Morgan, Samoa Joe, etc they would be able to give WWE a true run. Anyways, last week on Impact Sting defeated Ric Flair in one of the worst matches of 2011, right up there with Undertaker versus HHH from Wrestlemania. Just a battle of two old men who just can’t cut it anymore. This is supposed to lead to Sting versus Hulk Hogan at Bound For Glory. We could have a three way tie for worst match of 2011.

We send it down to the Impact Zone, where Sting comes out with a contract for his match with Hulk at Bound For Glory. Hulk comes out and says Sting is delusional and this is not going to happen as he is not medically cleared. Sting falls over laughing and rolls footage of Hulk attacking Sting. Hulk says Sting has chased him his whole career and never caught up to him and the match won’t happen. Sting says let’s do it now, and this brings out Eric Bischoff who asks Sting who he thinks he is. Eric comes in the ring talking and Sting lays him out. Sting tells Hulk it will happen, there will be match at Bound For Glory and leaves Hulk in the ring with an unconscious Eric Bischoff. Backstage to Karen Jarrett who’s with Traci Brooks, she tells Brooke and Mickie James to go out and have a good match. Karen screams at Brooke for her outfit, and Traci for having her boobs almost hanging out. Kaz comes out to defend his wife, Traci, and calls Karen a madam and asks how much she charges. After they leave Karen grabs her phone to call Jeff Jarrett.

1. Brooke Tessmacher lost to Mickie James 5/10

This is the second match in the Queen’s challenge, winner joins Velvet Sky in the fatal four-way against Winter at BFG. Brooke comes out and does her usual strip tease, even after being told not to. Brooke actually held her own with the beautiful Mickie James for a while there, before falling to the Mickie James DDT. Not a bad match, considering I don’t expect much out of Brooke, but she did good. So for BFG we have Winter v. Mickie v. Velvet Sky so far, I expect Madison to win next week and be the final one in the match. Mickie helps Brooke to her feet and they embrace as we go to a pre-tape.

Mexican America outside doing the typical racist Mexican gimmick, love Vince Russo’s booking style. Now over to Al Snow who’s with Jeff Hardy. Al tells Jeff to not make the same mistake again and to start at the top making amends. Has anyone else had enough of the Hardy Boys?

2. Jesse Sorensen lost to Austin Aries <Austin Aries retains the X Title> 5/10

Austin Aries has a lot of charisma and is fun to watch, as he steals Jesse’s football and runs around the ring with it. Jesse launches himself over the top rope onto Austin, as here comes Kid Kash, another older guy getting to much air time. As much as I like Kash, he’s at the stage where he should be helping to get the young guys over, not being part of a storyline. Once again Jesse’s football gets involved, the football gets more TV time than most of the other guys, which distracted Jesse long enough for Aries to hit a dropkick to the back of Jesse’s head for the win. Could’ve been a much better match, too much stalling and the involvement of Kid Kash did more damage then good to the match.

Backstage to RVD and Mr. Anderson who are facing Bully Ray and Jerry Lynn tonight. It’s sad when Bully is the most entertaining of the four, he’s like TNA’s version of Mark Henry, a guy who’s been around a long time and is finally reached his potential. Now back to Mexican American, as the jobber member of the team is getting a tattoo. They send the girls to get some Tequila, and once the girls leave he admits he’s afraid of needles. This is so racist, I mean what next a pinata on a pole match? Out comes Ink Inc to attack Mexican America and we get a tattoo parlor brawl, well that’s original. At least it wasn’t in a supermarket. After Hernandez the talent level really falls in this feud. Typical of TNA this goes on way too long, and ends with Shannon Moore tattooing Anarquia, as Jesse Neal turns off the camera. Well it’s been a long time since the WWE did that with A-Train, so I’ll let it pass. Now we go to Matt Morgan chastising Jeff Hardy about his condition at the PPV where he showed in horrible shape. Matt admits he has to give Jeff a chance as he has been sober from pain pills for almost 5 years. After the commercial we find RVD buried under a pile of chairs, if both member of Public Enemy weren’t dead I’d blame them. Ah hell, if they weren’t dead TNA would’ve already hired them. Now Jeff Hardy is talking with Kurt Angle, who tells Hardy to get the hell out of TNA. Hardy asks how he can judge him, it is pretty hypocritical of Angle considering his demons. After all those shenanigans we finally head to the ring, and here comes Kurt Angle to talk some more. Almost halfway through the show and we’ve had about 10 minutes or so of action, this is getting worse then NXT, which I will not recap as that is become unwatchable other than William Regal. Angle calls Robert Roode to the ring, this might be a good match at the PPV, as long as they don’t screw up Rob’s push. Angle congratulates Roode on beating Kaz last week, but his next challenge is his friend. Out comes James Storm, who tells Angle to get on his knees. Storm tells Angle he wants a match with Angle tonight. Storm tells Angle to get his gear and he’ll see him tonight. Would love to see Storm win the match and have Storm face Roode for the title at BFG.

3. Bully Ray & Jerry Lynn defeated Mr. Anderson DUD/10

Hey, look at that, we’re getting a match finally. OK, so it’s lacking in talent, but at least it’s not talking. Never mind as here’s Anderson with the microphone. Rob Van Dam has been pulled from the match, so now it’s a handicap match. I wonder who screams more in the ring Bully Ray or Kelly Yelly, neither one shuts up in the ring, but at least Ray has some talent. Bully uses the chain to knock out Anderson for the win, bringing this long boring match to an end. Horrible match, nothing good to see here.

Backstage to James Storm who says he’s proud of Bobby Roode for his win, and tonight he’s going to take care of Angle.

4. Christopher Daniels and Robert Roode No Contest

Great, the one match I was looking forward to, and Daniels comes out in street clothes with a microphone. Daniels tells Angle he thinks he has the answers, but he won’t wrestle Roode tonight. Daniels says it’s not because they’re both members of Fortune, but because he has nothing to prove. Daniels says three weeks ago he beat AJ Styles and since he dominated AJ, why bother with Roode. This brings out AJ, who asks if this is a joke with Daniels taking jabs at him. Daniels tells him to get over it, AJ says he is over it, and Daniels needs to get over it. Daniels responds by saying he is the better man, and AJ says maybe they should have another match. Daniels says no, he’s already beaten him, so AJ slaps the microphone away. AJ starts to leave and Daniels calls him a sore loser and a bitch,which sends AJ over the deep end. Security comes out to break it up. I agree with the crowd, let them fight. This has been the most entertaining the show has been, which means they have to go to commercial. We come back and they’re still fighting, as they head into the crowd and right into the “Direct Auto Insurance” offices. Wait, they have Auto Insurance offices in the arena, seriously? What the heck. the last people you want to have driving are the wrestlers lately, Hardy, Angle, Daffney, this just seems like a bad joke. Kaz finally comes out to break it up and says they are family. While Kaz calms down AJ, Daniels kicks him in the fun bags before leaving. I guess Daniels’ is now the heel.

Kurt Angle with Scott Steiner, who’s now Angle’s trainer, that’s just a bizarre combo. Steiner says Angle is going to kick James Storm’s ass tonight. After the commercial, Kaz is trying to calm down Daniels, as we get classic Russo, Kaz says this is not wrestling this is family. So everything we’ve seen is fake so far, but this, right here, is real. Now over to AJ Styles with Kaz, Kaz is playing the role of Dr. Phil tonight. AJ says he slipped on the ropes and now Daniels’ is superman. From watching AJ vomit we go to Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan, Hulk says he is going to drop a bombshell next week. My guess is he’s doing another retirement angle.

5. James Storm and Kurt Angle to a No Contest 5/10

This match better be good, as this show has sucked about as bad as the last season of Grey’s Anatomy so far. After Jeremy’s introduction’s we have about 12 minutes left of the show, not a good sign, as TNA always ends with stupid shenanigans. Maybe they can do like WCW World Wide used to do, start the main event with five minutes left and then cut off during the match, next week we get highlights of the main event. Can’t be any worse then the shows are already. Of course it’s a TNA main event so we get interference from Gunner, and a ref bump. Gunner cracks Storm with the title belt and here comes Roode to the rescue. Roode picks up the title belt, as the ref is stirring, Roode looks at the title and raises it up. So what the hell happened to the match? The ref rolled out of the ring and heads up the ramp, so no contest I guess. Was actually a good match till the stupid ending, typical TNA main event.

Match Recap

1. Brooke Tessmacher lost to Mickie James 5/10

2. Jesse Sorensen lost to Austin Aries <Austin Aries retains the X Title> 5/10

3. Bully Ray & Jerry Lynn defeated Mr. Anderson DUD/10

4. Christopher Daniels and Robert Roode No Contest

5. James Storm and Kurt Angle to a No Contest 5/10

What a horrible show this week, two hours and we get four matches since one never started, and one was just brutal to watch. Really TNA, this was the best they could do this week. As I said in the introduction, all the talent they have and they put one a waste of two hours. Horrible effort from TNA this week. Overall I give this week’s Impact a 4/10, an almost unwatchable show. The only good part this week was Daniels and AJ, otherwise nothing to see here, drive on through.


4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I’m no fan of Mr. Anderson, but I think that was his best match… probably ever. Maybe it was because of Jerry Lynn and Bully Ray. JL and BR … shouldn’t have been a team, but oddly enough they had chemistry. It was bad of TNA to have 2 no contests back to back. Its their 50/50 booking that they need to make a non challenger look as strong as their main event champion… uggg.

Comment by workmancer

I actually don’t mind Anderson, I just found this match to be a mess. Jerry Lynn is just too damn old to be taken serious anymore. Bully however has found himself a career renaissance. I think the match would’ve been better had RVD been in it. Overall I was just disappointed by the whole damn show this week. Usually I enjoy TNA, but this weeks was just hard to watch. Hopefully Smackdown is better, or so I’ve heard. Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoy my work. More stuff coming! Hopefully back to SHIMMER this week along with WSU and soon, hopefully, classic WWF Coliseum Videos.

Comment by nala310

I don’t mind him either in small non talking doses πŸ™‚ I’ve studied him. He’s very basic in the ring, but last night his kick and extra kick combo surprised me in a good way. Back in the WWE, he used to no sell and counter everything. Kind of like he’s gonna do what he wants.

And you’re right about JL… I actually feel bad for him, because its like TNA has 44 guys on their active roster… why does JL need to be there? I’m sure he can wrestle, but was he brought back to put some fire in RVD and give him a win?

Bully has been stellar and he’ll make a great main event contender πŸ™‚

I was disappointed they took away Daniels vs Roode, but at least they worked it logically and gave us something else good with heat. I was also disappointed that the main event just ended with no finish like WWE used to 5 – 10 years ago.

Oh yes and about Shimmer. I’m in Chicago and the tapings are Oct 1st n 2nd. $30 per ticket πŸ™‚

Comment by workmancer

Will Hulk’s bombshell be that Impact will actually get me to watch it in more than 14 minutes, thank god for a DVR….

Comment by D.S.

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