Chris' Blog


WWE RAW – September 19, 2011

Coming off a surprisingly good PPV, in terms of match quality, with some poor booking decisions it’s time for RAW. I guess we’ll hear from Triple H, who’ll continue to bury CM Punk, and John Cena, who once again miraculously overcame the odds last night to claim his 20th title or so. Does it even matter how many times he wins the belt anymore, seriously, he’s going to wind up in Lawler territory before his career is over. Let’s hope they can do something to salvage CM Punk after the debacle of last night. It’s pretty sad when the only person who truly got over in that match was HHH as he overcame Punk, Truth, Miz and Nash. Maybe we can get a match for tonight of Punk & HHH versus Miz & Truth, but instead it’ll probably be HHH beating both by himself. Well, let’s see what the WWE tries to do this week.

We open the show with CM Punk, who comes out limping and starts to talk, only to be interrupted by HHH. HHH announces Alberto Del Rio will face John Cena and CM Punk in a triple threat Hell in a Cell in two weeks. I hate the fact that they’re having a PPV in two weeks, just stupid. Punk says someone is playing them against each other, and on cue, here comes John Laurinaitis. Punk insinuates that JL is the one pulling the strings, and JL fires him. HHH reverses it and says he does the firing and tonight someone gets fired.

1. Justin Gabriel, Sheamus, Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne beat Christian, Wade Barrett, David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty. 7/10

It’s a conspiracy I tell you, as Miz & Truth are not in this match. Why does Otunga keep getting TV time? Why can’t the call Joe Hennig his real name? Why does Gabriel still have a job? Why has Sheamus been neutered into a boring goody two shoes? Just wondering while this match keeps trucking along, Otunga is so damn boring in the ring. Not a bad little TV match though, as at least the right guy got pinned. Was a fun little brawl though some good high spots, would’ve rather had Truth and Miz on the heel side and Ryder on the face team, I just hate the whole face Sheamus crap, he was better as the heel ass kicker.

Backstage as a referee is scared to go to the ring and Triple H assures him he’ll be safe. Here comes ADR who calls Triple H the worst COO ever and prays Vince comes back. Triple H says he’s been in the Cell and he needs the prayers.

2. Alberto Del Rio squashed John Morrison DUD

Great John gets to lose again, as I can’t see them having the number one contender job two weeks before the PPV. What is the issue with pushing Morrison? Seriously the kid could be a huge star, but they do nothing with him. That wasn’t even a match, it was a complete squash. John Morrison, the new Barry Horowitz.

Oh good, more time to be wasted as they bring out Wolverine. I hate the stupid Guest Host garbage, it’s a waste of time. Love the “Hugh Jackman Sucks” sign in the crowd! Hugh goes for the cheap pop, he’s no Mick Foley that’s for sure. It gets better, here comes Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler to the ring. I bet Dolph gets humiliated by Jackman here. Dolph gets a cheap shot on Mason Ryan, comparing him to a robot, this guy is awesome. Jackman says he’s going to find an underdog to humiliate Ziggler and Dolph agrees to it. Dolph then gets a shot in on Miz as well, no one is safe from the Ziggler. Hugh grabs a sign for Zack Ryder, so there’s our US title match. Bet Dolph drops the title tonight. A limo pulls up with The Conspiracists as Laurinaitis tells them HHH wants to see them. We get a recap from Smackdown of Sin Cara facing off with Sin Cara, it’s like Undertaker versus Undertaker, minus 2 feet!

3. Sin Cara v. Cody Rhodes goes to a No Contest DUD

Cody Rhodes is so entertaining with this gimmick, I liked the Dashing gimmick too, but he does this so well. Before the match Sin Cara II comes out, and Sin Cara I just stares at him. The Sin Caras start going at it, I guess the match is scrapped? That lighting gimmick is annoying beyond belief.

Backstage again as we get to see HHH making coffee, smell the excitement. Miz & Truth come in and apologize for interfering in the match last night. HHH fines them both a quarter million dollars for attacking a ref and then says they will team to face Cena and Punk tonight. We come back from commercial as Teddy Long is leaving the ring. Jim Ross announces that Randy Orton will invoke his rematch clause at Hell in the Cell PPV, big surprise. JR introduces the new champ, Mark Henry, who comes out with the title over his shoulder. Henry says no man will take what he’s got and that he will never forgive the fans for not supporting or believing in him. Mark says JR will apologize for them and to him. I bet JR gets squashed by Henry and King saves, setting up a match between King and Henry tonight. Just like I figured as Henry starts to choke Jim Ross and here comes Lawler for the save. Don’t kill both of them Henry, or we’ll be stuck with Cole and Booker on commentary! He release Jim Ross who crawls to safety and grabs Lawler from behind. Lawler tries to fight Henry off and gets his ass kicked, wait didn’t we see this match fifteen years ago at one of those stupid In Your House PPVs? Henry clears off the announce table, as we once again see the anonymous GM computer, and tosses Lawler over it. Lawler then gets driven through the announce table, way to make the save Lawler and get yourself killed. Someone yells at Henry to get Michael Cole, have to say I agree with that. The Burger King is now road pizza at ringside as Henry grabs his title belt and leaves. We come back from commercials to recaps and Josh Matthews joins us on commentary, well better than Booker.

4. Kelly & Eve beat Natayla & Beth Phoenix 3/10

Beth should have won last night, that’s all I have to say. I can’t stand Eve or Kelly, as they get by on their looks and no talent, while Natayla & Beth get no respect. What a waste of time that was as once again the Divas of Doom get screwed as Eve wins with a rollup on Natayla. They’ve made Natayla & Beth into the Diva jobbers, they’re the female version of the Beverly Brothers!

Backstage again to Wolverine and Zack Ryder, big surprise as Ryder will face Dolph tonight. We waste more time with some crappy movie preview. Ever notice how the wrestling seems to be afterthought on RAW? Great live action Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots, that looks exciting.

5. Dolph Ziggler lost to Zack Ryder 6.5/10

Is this for the title, have no idea as they came back from the movie garbage and Dolph was already in the ring. Wolverine is wearing a Ryder headband! Thought it was over right away with that rollup. Vickie gets kicked out and while the ref is busy Wolverine nails Ziggler, allowing Ryder to hit the Rough Ryder for the win. Would’ve been better without the extra crap and more time, as these two could be the future of the WWE, but it’ll never happen.

Now we get a promo for Jack Swagger, showing him winning Money in the Bank and cashing in for the title. One of the worst pushes for a World Champion ever, right up there with Sheamus. Swagger walks in on Vickie watching his video and says he is more impressive then Ziggler. Vickie says she’d like him to join Dolph in his stable, he kisses her hand and walks away, right past Dolph. We now see Punk stretching backstage, and there’s the chump John Cena. They argue over who’s getting fired and then we get a Hell in the Cell promo, which of course includes Foley’s falls. I predict Foley comes back within two weeks and is the referee.

6. Miz & R-Truth lose to John Cena & CM Punk 6/10

The only chance the Conspiracists have is if Punk turns on Cena during the match, which would be great. But since it’s Miz’s hometown he’s going to job of course. It’s been all Cena so far, as Punk has yet to get in the ring. Cena finally makes the tag and Punk taking it to both Miz & Truth. Pretty boring main event as it was Cena getting beaten down, makes a tag and Punk destroys Miz for the win. As they celebrate out comes Triple H, notice since he came back every show has opened and closed with him? Triple H congratulates Cena & Punk, then says Miz & Truth are fired. Miz and Truth are shocked and Michael Cole is aghast, as they quickly head backstage, where we see the whole roster watching on monitors. Probably because no one wants to miss a Cena match, it’s a great way to learn how to bury others. Cena must have watched a lot of HHH and Shawn Michaels matches, he’s learned so well. Not how to wrestle but how to hold down all competition. Well at least Tyler Reks got to be on camera briefly. We see Triple H coming through the curtain, and he’s quickly jumped by Miz & Truth. I’d like to see the rest of the roster join in on this beating, then move on to Orton and Cena after that. Get rid of the three egos of wrestling, since Undertaker seems to be gone. Swagger, Regal and Wade are carrying Truth, while Brodus Clay has a hold of Miz, and they throw them out of the building. Triple H pushes the jobbers aside and storms away, way to treat the guys who just saved your ass, and we fade to black.

Recap:

1. Justin Gabriel, Sheamus, Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne beat Christian, Wade Barrett, David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty. 7/10

2. Alberto Del Rio squashed John Morrison DUD

3. Sin Cara v. Cody Rhodes goes to a No Contest DUD

4. Kelly & Eve beat Natayla & Beth Phoenix 3/10

5. Dolph Ziggler lost to Zack Ryder 6.5/10

6. Miz & R-Truth lose to John Cena & CM Punk 6/10

With three PPVs in five weeks, it’s going to be a series of rematches as we’re in autopilot mode for a while. Probably until the Royal Rumble. This was a pretty boring episode of RAW, not surprisingly, as too much time was wasted on useless junk and the only two good matches were rushed. They could’ve skipped the Sin Cara garbage and the useless diva match and given more time to the eight man and Dolph/Zack matches. Overall I’d give this RAW a 4/10, what was good was good but too short and what was bad was too long. I have no interest in seeing celebrities on RAW, it takes time away from the actual wrestlers. The sad part is the guest for the Halloween episode is going to be the Muppets! I can just picture it, Miz & Truth, since no one stays fired for long, losing to Cena and Kermit in the main event. Maybe we can have Dolph Ziggler job to the Swedish Chef, which could be Jack Swagger in a costume. Kelly can team with Miss Piggy to defeat the Divas of Doom, they have no credibility left anyways.

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