Chris' Blog


TNA Impact – May 3, 2010

 

It’s a new month for TNA and sadly tonight marks the final Monday Night Impact, as starting next week TNA moves back to Thursdays. It’s too bad as TNA has been the better show a majority of times so far, but unfortunately the WWE just kept them down. Personally I don’t understand why, WWE is such a weak and boring show, while TNA delivers good matches each week. I don’t remember the last WWE RAW or Smackdown that featured a great match. I do think the Knockouts have been horribly mistreated lately though, and I wish the Monday show had succeeded and maybe we would’ve gotten a Thursday show as well each week. Even just an hour long one for the Knockouts would’ve been good. The good thing is Wrestlicious finally returns next week with their seventh episode and I can’t wait. Tonight on TNA we have the return of Taylor Wilde & Sarita, and it’s been too damn long since we’ve seen them, also RVD defends the title and the debut of Orlando Jordan’s talk show with guest Rob Terry. Should be an interesting show tonight, let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the previous week including the tag match and Ric Flair versus Abyss. Tonight’s episode is called the Sting/Hulk Hogan summit. We open with Hulk and Eric in the limo and Eric says the plane touches down in seven minutes. Hulk says everyone is coming to TNA and says Flair will jump off the cliff when he sees who he gives the ring too. Hulk says he’s calling out Sting tonight and says to hold on for the ride. We go to our opening video, and it still suck big time, about as bad as Raw and Smackdown, the only good part is Daffney’s scream! Mike Tenay welcomes us to Orlando and goes over the same things Hulk just mentioned. Tazz looks funny in blue. Mike says they have huge news and announces that due to the feedback TNA is moving back to Thursday nights because that’s what the fans wanted. OK, if that’s the line they’re going to use, whatever. Mike and Taz talk about the summit between Hulk and Sting. Taz says Sting told him he was going to break the silence tonight and we head to the ring.

1. Ric Flair’s music hits but instead we get Jay Lethal coming out in a suit and pointing to his finger. He’s now imitating The Nature Boy Ric Flair and it looks like he’s wearing the ring, as So Cal Val hands him the mic. Lethal now sounds just like Ric Flair; damn he’s impressive at these impersonations. Lethal says Hulk Hogan told him not to go out at the start or middle but to wait till the end, and he told Hulk he couldn’t wait. Lethal calls himself the sixteen times World Champion as he continues to do the best Flair imitation ever. Lethal says to be the man, and rips off his jacket and drops the knee; you’ve got to beat the man. This is comedy gold; this kid should have his own show. Jay makes fun of the crowd as Flair would do, and get’s interrupted by the real Nature Boy, Ric Flair. Should a man over sixty still be called the Nature Boy? Maybe Nature Senior? Flair enters the ring and removes the sunglasses, as the crowd chants “double vision”, and asks Lethal if he knows where he is. Flair says Lethal is standing in front of God right now and has been disrespected and then smashes his glasses before taking off the jacket. Flair tells Lethal if he wants to be Flair, Jay apologizes and gives Ric his ring back and says from the bottom of his heart he meant no disrespect and always wanted to be Ric Flair. Lethal says as sure as we’re standing here today he will frame the shot and it’s the greatest moment of his life and it will never get better. Jay says his mom is watching and is proud her boy is in the ring with Ric Flair. Flair thanks him for giving back his ring and then slaps Jay across the face. Flair removes the shirt; no one needed to see that, and slaps Jay again and says he is wrestling. Flair screams at Lethal and slaps him again, and this time Lethal slaps back. Now they’re chopping it out and Lethal backdrops Flair before locking in the figure four. Beer Money, AJ and Desmond quickly make the save and beat the crap out of Lethal, nice five white guys whipping a black guy, and here comes Abyss waddling to the ring for the save. Abyss takes out everyone but the numbers catch up to him and here comes Team 3D to help out as we have chaos. A great way to start the show and now here comes the World Champion, Rob Van Dam, who chases out team Flair. Back to Hulk and Eric in the limo, and there heading somewhere. Hulk gets a message on his phone and says Lethal screwed up and they turn the car around. After the commercial RVD is still in the ring and has the microphone and says here’s an idea instead of everyone beating up Macho Dude, let’s get the four Horse’s asses down the ring for a fair fight. Flair says if you really want more you got it and they head to the ring. It’s a ten man brawl in the ring now, WWWYKI! They brawl all around the building as all hell has broken loose. This reminds me of the old ECW with all this chaos, all we need is a run in from 911 to chokeslam everyone! Suddenly the brawl is interrupted as Hulk’s music hits and he heads down the ramp, hammering everyone in his path. Hulk alone in the ring with Flair and unloads on Nature Boy with three rights and tosses him out of the ring as we go to commercial. We come back and security is trying to separate everyone. Hulk has the microphone and says since they beat the man they can quote the man and says TNA is the best thing going today. Hulk says the fans want action, that’s what we got. Hulk tells Desmond he doesn’t like him, but he gets a match tonight, against the champ Rob Van Dam for the title. Flair says they like that, and Hulk says AJ will face Abyss in a Monster’s Ball match tonight as well. Hogan says Team 3D will face Beer Money and MCMG in a three way match. What about Jay Lethal? Well, that’s a hell of a way to open a show, much better than the way RAW always opens. We go backstage to Lacey, Madison and Velvet getting ready for their match, and Lacey says her back hurts as she wears the title to bed. Madison says all the titles are on the line again, and Velvet says they’re the whole knockout division, pretty much at this point. Madison says the titles will stay right where they are and Lacey says see she knew they had to keep the titles on.

2. Brian Kendrick & Douglas Williams v Shannon Moore & Jesse Neal. Doug still has the X title around his waist and says due to travel conditions beyond his control he’s been stripped of the title. Doug says half the world is on a shutdown and he’s punished, it’s not right, and when he comes back he’s in a tag match with a lunatic. Doug says while he’s been sitting at him pulling his hair out Kaz has been claiming he’s the champ, and he’s going to have to beat him at Sacrifice. So Shannon and Jesse are now called Ink Inc, why not. Jesse and Doug start out and Doug with a go behind and a snapmare, but Jesse to the armbar. Doug flips out and grabs the leg and floats into a hammerlock and tosses Jesse to the corner. Jesse dives out with a crossbody and Kendrick runs in. Kendrick distracts Jesse allowing Doug to hit a gut wrench and tags in Brian. Kendrick stomps on Jesse and hammers him in the face. Doug tagged back in, as Matt is on commentary now and will face Ink Inc at Sacrifice and TNA will pick Matt’s tag partner, bet it’s Hernandez. Meanwhile Doug sends Jesse to the corner and kicks Jesse in the hamstring. Matt says he’s giving Hulk a week to announce his partner or its open season on the entire roster. Kendrick and Shannon tagged in and Shannon with an inverted atomic drop and spinning heel kick for a near fall. Kendrick whipped to the corner and Shannon misses the charge, Kendrick goes to tag and Douglas is missing. Jesse tagged in and Jesse hits the spear for the victory as Douglas is just standing at ringside. 7/10 a good tag match, I like all four guys. Kendrick screams at Doug, who slaps Kendrick and Kendrick goes after him, but suddenly they’re interrupted by Samoa Joe. Joe decks Douglas and kicks Kendrick then tosses him in the ring. Joe hits the running knee and follows with a muscle buster on Kendrick. Joe grabs the microphone and then just throws it down and walks down the ramp. We go backstage to Ric Flair’s dressing room and Flair kicks out JB and says it’s time to be serious about what happened. AJ says he doesn’t appreciate being in a hardcore match and Flair says he doesn’t care, then gets in the face of BMI and says they’re nothing right now and smashing James’ beer bottle. Flair screams at Desmond now and tells him RVD will tear him up if he doesn’t get it right tonight. Flair tells his team to make it happen or he’ll fire them all. We get a video of Hulk talking about Sting trying to take out TNA and grabbing Dixie Carter and he’s going to find out what is going on. Mike and Taz talk about Hulk and Sting and suddenly we go backstage where Pope and Anderson are fighting it our backstage. Anderson rams one of the big cases into Pope repeatedly.

3. Ken Anderson makes his way down the ramp, wearing a red dress and white shirt and glasses, like he’s a druid or something. Taz says he looks like an Altar Boy and has Pope’s shades on. Anderson mocks the Pope by calling the crowd the congregation and says don’t judge him for his attire. Anderson says he stands before them with a loss for words, as the crowd chants “you suck” and Anderson says forgive them father. Anderson says he had a sermon prepared but had an awakening. The crowd chants “We want Pope” and Anderson says the Pope will not be able to join them tonight, and he realizes that when he dies he won’t go to heaven he’ll burn in Hell. Jeff Hardy interrupts Anderson’s promo and comes down the ramp; Hardy says the congregation and creatures of the night are one and the same. Hardy since the Pope won’t be cleared for Sacrifice he wants a match with Anderson. Anderson asks if he’s challenging him, and Jeff says correct, Anderson says no he’s got something going on that night and can’t do it. Anderson says he’s tired of him and the people in the crowd and he’s leaving, then turns around and goes after Jeff. Jeff ducks and nails the Twist of Fate on Anderson and stripes him down to his underwear. Hardy welcomes Ken to Hell and leaves the ring.

4. Taylor Wilde, Sarita & Tara v Velvet Sky, Madison Rayne & Lacey Von Erich. This is for both the knockout single and tag titles. Cripes, Taylor and Sarita don’t even get their music, what a load of crap. Well, they look good, as does TBP. Tara shoves Taylor and Sarita out of the ring and demands she starts. Lacey starts for her team and dances around, to which Tara kicks her in the gut and nails a snap Suplex, with a float over for a near fall. Tara quickly into a front guillotine, Tara sends Lacey in and misses the clothesline. Lacey with a spinkick and Sarita tagged in. Sarita rolls Lacey to the corner and Velvet tagged in. Sarita whipped to the corner and Velvet runs into Sarita’s boots. Sarita flips over Velvet and shoves her in to the corner and nails a flapjack for a near fall. Sarita tags in Taylor and the double team Velvet for a near fall. Taylor readies for the DDT and Tara wants the tag, this distracts Taylor allowing Velvet to throw her down and tag in Madison. Madison gets caught in a German Suplex and Taylor crawls to the corner and Tara screams for the tag, and steals the tag from Sarita who tags herself in. Tara turns around and nails Sarita. Taylor gets in Tara’s face and turns to check on Sarita and gets tossed out. Sarita rolls in and gets caught in double DDT and Madison covers for the win. 5/10 was nice to see Taylor and Sarita, but the storyline killed the match. After the commercial we go backstage to Tara with Christy Hemme, and Tara says she’s busted her butt to be in TNA and gets no respect. Tara challenges Madison for the title at Sacrifice, and Christy says Tara hasn’t won many matches and wants to know how she’s going to convince Madison. Tara says she’s putting her career on the line.

5. Beer Money Inc v Motor City Machine Guns v Team 3D. Why is no one getting ring intros this week? Seriously, BMI and MCMG didn’t even get introduced. Roode and Sabin start out and Roode unloads on Sabin and sends him to the corner, but Sabin over Roode. Sabin avoids Roode’s shots and nails a spin kick. Roode gets a knee in and hammers Sabin down and tags in Storm. Shelly makes a blind tag and the Guns double team Storm for a near fall. Shelly gets Suplexed but he reverses and D-Von tagged in. D-Von clotheslines Storm down and hammers him in the corner. Storm run into Bubba’s boot and gets sent in, but Storm reverses and Roode nails D-Von in the back allowing Storm to hit a Codebreaker. Roode tagged in and stomps D-Von and slaps the Guns. Storm back in and they double Suplex D-Von down and a near fall, as Shelly saves the match. Roode tagged in and they send D-Von in and Storm sent in but D-Von moves and Storm hits the buckle, and D-Von clotheslines Roode. Bubba tagged in and hammers both BMI down and sends Roode in and backdrops him, then opens up on Storm. A big slam for Roode and followed by the What’s Up, as D-Von crushes Roode’s yam bags. Suddenly we see Hall and Nash heading to the ring, and they go right after Team 3D causing the DQ. 6/10 was actually shaping up to a good match, but a stupid ending. I’m so sick of seeing Hall and Nash, just disappear already. Eric Young comes out to save Team 3D and has the kendo stick, but then attacks Bubba and D-Von with the stick and joins the nWo. This is lame! The Guns come in and toss Young out of the ring and they take down Hall and then double team Nash down as well. BMI slide in and take out both Guns now, I bet we get a four way tag match at Sacrifice. Young back in and BMI hand him the kendo stick and shakes hands with nWo.

6. The O-Zone. Well, this is either going to be really cool or really stupid, let’s see what they do. Orlando introduced and he’s behind a pink screen, and comes out in a tight silver outfit and sits down on his orange couch. Orlando says he does what he wants, says what he wants and acts how he wants and one size fits all and batteries not needed. Orlando says people think he’s got a little freak in him, but his first guest is a freak and introduces Rob Terry. It’s a cardboard cutout of Terry with a boa on, and Orlando points out how hard Terry is. Orlando says he has amazing bulges but Rob’s bulges are even better. Taz asks how long is this going to go as the crowd has shit all over this segment. OJ asks what kind of fantasies the Freak has, and makes like Terry fantasizes about him, and here comes the real Rob Terry. Terry tosses OJ on the couch and rips apart the cardboard cutout. Terry says don’t make me come back and holds the title over head, OJ attacks from behind and stomps Terry. OJ chokes out Terry and says this is his set and then smashes an urn over the back of Terry. Well, that wasn’t great, hopefully it was a one time thing.

7. AJ Styles v Abyss. The Monster’s Ball match. Abyss comes out with a trash can full of weapons and tosses them in the ring. AJ tries for a springboard onto Abyss, who catches him and goes for the chokeslam. AJ counters and tosses the trashcan at him and Abyss gets in the ring. AJ charges at Abyss who tosses AJ across the ring. Abyss wedges a chair in the corner and AJ grabs a chair but misses the shot and eats Abyss’ boot. Abyss grabs a crutch but AJ kicks it out of his hand and Abyss misses the swing with the chair but the right hand knocks down Styles. Abyss misses with a chair and AJ hits the Pele and a dropkick sending him to the corner. AJ hammers the monster in the corner and then lets Abyss gets up and runs at him, only to get pressed and dropped. Abyss charges in the corner but AJ moves and goes to toss the monster into the corner, but Abyss counters. AJ jumps up and over and Abyss just grabs him and tosses his head into the chair. Abyss hits Shock Treatment and gets a near fall as AJ kicks out and Abyss goes outside and looks under the ring. Abyss grabs his bag and comes back in and sprinkles out the vintage tacks in the ring. Flair and Chelsea are heading down the ramp, and Flair is yelling at Chelsea to take off her clothes. They get to the ring and Abyss grabs Chelsea as AJ grabs a chair and unloads on the monster. AJ charges at the monster and gets backdropped on the ramp, but AJ pulls out brass knuckles and hits Abyss in the gut. AJ springboards into Abyss who lands in the tacks and AJ pins him for the win. 6.75/10 was a little short, but not half bad. Flair and Chelsea get in the ring and she opens the coat, and she’s wearing her usual black dress underneath.

8. Desmond Wolfe v Rob Van Dam. Desmond dropkicks RVD as he tries to get in the ring and tosses him headfirst to the ringpost. Desmond tosses RVD back in and chokes him in the corner. Wolfe with the flying elbow in the corner and goes for a Suplex but RVD counters and sends Desmond to the corner but gets caught coming in. Wolfe kicks RVD in the head and gets a near fall. RVD starts to fight back and Wolfe nails the hammerlock drop for another near fall. Desmond shoves RVD to the corner and mocks RVD and goes for the corner elbow, but RVD disappears. Wolfe spins around and eats a big kick from RVD who was on the top rope. RVD follows up with Rolling Thunder and climbs the ropes, but Desmond catches him and RVD crotched on the top. Desmond goes for the Tower of London and RVD blocks, Desmond cracks him and goes for the Tower on the ramp but RVD blocks and hits a springboard kick. Desmond charges and RVD backdrops him back in and hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the win. 6/10 wasn’t bad, but way too short. As RVD celebrates AJ attacks from the top rope knocking the champ down. AJ hammers RVD and says he’s invoking his rematch at Sacrifice. We go backstage to find Jeff Jarrett laid out and Hulk finds him, Jarrett says Sting did it.

9. Hulk Hogan makes his way down the ramp to call out Sting. Hulk says one of his favorite wrestlers talks about getting real and Hulk knew what he was getting into but when he talked about change he had no idea the guy he counted on would be the one who changed. Hulk calls Stinger out to the ring and wants to find out what’s real. Sting’s music hits and here comes Sting with bat in hand and he enters the ring. Hulk says you can fool some of the people but Hulk’s been around too long to be fooled and he knows what Sting’s all about. Hulk asks Sting what makes him tick and Sting says he can’t wait to tell him, it’s TNA. Sting says it like he’s asking him what his agenda is, and his agenda is the same as when he came in TNA five years ago, to give back to wrestling. Sting says he loves TNA and when he thinks about all the years Hulk was in the WWF with a canopy of protection and in WCW he saw firsthand that Hulk had the same protection, but in TNA there is no protection. Hulk says this isn’t about Sting and TNA, it’s about Hulk and Sting and the fact he’ll protect certain people. Hulk tells Sting he still has blood on his hand for knocking out Jarrett, and Sting laughs and says Hulk is one of the best chess players and says it’s Hulk’s move now. Sting points the bat at Hulk’s throat and Hulk says take your best shot and Jeff Jarrett heads down the ramp. Sting hasn’t seen him and tosses the bat aside, Jeff grabs the bat and attacks Sting, but Hulk cuts him off as the show ends.

Match Recap:

1. Jesse & Shannon Moore beat Douglas Williams & Kendrick 7/10

2. The Beautiful People beat Tara, Taylor Wilde & Sarita 5/10

3. Beer Money, Machine Guns and Team 3D went to a no contest 6/10

4. AJ Styles pinned Abyss 6.75/10

5. RVD beat Desmond Wolfe 6/10

Honestly wasn’t a great episode, but it wasn’t horrible either. The matches were not the best, but it could’ve been worse. The problem with TNA is they try to cram too many things in two hours, and they really need a second show to spread things out and have longer matches.

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