Chris' Blog

Monday Night RAW – March 29, 2010


Well, here we are twenty-four hours removed from Wrestlemania 26. Last night at Wrestlemania Bret Hart got his revenge after thirteen years on Vince McMahon. Jack Swagger scored the surprise of the night, winning Money in the Bank. Shawn Michaels career came to an end after being Tombstoned for the third time by Undertaker. John Cena regained the World Title for the 6,245th time, or it just feels like it. OK, so it wasn’t all good news, but it was a surprisingly good show. Of course with Cena as champion, again, we’re going to have to hear the same tired crap. Seriously, can Cena try and freshen up his spiel?

We open RAW with highlights from the Shawn Michaels and Undertaker match, with some very lame, dog annoying music. No really, that music is so high pitched my dog is freaking out. Shawn lost his smile again, as he’s going home, hopefully he doesn’t come back. No disrespect to Shawn, but it’s time to go home and be a father. Now we get the RAW into video, followed by the pyro, and Michael Cole welcomes us to the longest running show on TV, from Phoenix, Arizona. Tonight on RAW we have Shawn Michaels bidding farewell.

1. Batista opens the show by coming out to the ring, well that’s not a good start to the show. Batista slowly goes to ring and sneers at the phone before he starts talking. The fans quickly start chanting “You tapped out” at him. Batista says people are expecting him to throw a fit and complain about what happened but he won’t give them the satisfaction. Batista says last night was a fluke and next month no one will remember Wrestlemania. That’s because there are too many PPVs and they all seem to blend into one another, nothing makes them distinct anymore, other than Royal Rumble. Batista says John Cena can’t beat him, and that brings out the chump. John Cena, the human pylon, comes to the ring and says going into Wrestlemania there was a guy who said Cena couldn’t beat Batista, and that guy missed Wrestlemania because Cena beat Batista. Cena says after all that talk about Batista wanting the match and wanting to be the face of the company, then last night the face of the company looked stupid as he made him tap out. Cena says no one will forget Wrestlemania, because Wrestlemania moments live forever, like Vickie’s hog splash? Cena says as Shawn’s career ends, Batista can write a new chapter in his book, by winning the title in a rematch. Cena says tonight Shawn says farewell, and Batista versus Cena in a rematch, but he’s been down this road and knows the other guy always says no. Cena tells him to give the fans what they want and have the rematch. Batista says the fans would love to see that, well not tonight and pops Cena. Cena fires back sending Batista out of the ring. Suddenly from behind Jack Swagger cracks Cena in the head with the briefcase and hammers Cena with it. Swagger grabs the mic and says he wants a ref, he’s cashing in now. Well, this’ll be the shortest MITB reign ever, as he’s going to lose tonight. Swagger goes to grab Cena, but Cena goes for the STF and Swagger slides out and changes his mind. Swagger says he’s waving off the match and grabs the case and runs up the ramp. Cena showing no effects from being cracked with the case, what a jackass he is. We now get a video of Shawn Michaels debut from June 18, 1988 against the Rougeau Brothers.

2. Ted DiBiase Sr comes out to the ring, along with IRS, Nick Bockwinkle, Pat Patterson, Arn Anderson. Well this is an interesting site, and suddenly we hear the bag pipes, and out come Rowdy Roddy Piper, Sgt Slaughter, Tony Garea, Ricky Steamboat come to the ring. Lawler says they’re missing a legend as he comes off headset and joins the other nine legends around the ring. We now get the introduction of tonight’s guest hosts, who I’ve never heard of and can’t be bothered to look up. The one guy looks like he’s eight years old, seriously. They announce the main event is Batista & Jack Swagger versus John Cena & a partner of his choosing. The other one announces a hot tub match tonight with the two of them versus the divas, which sounds lame as hell. They say the reason the legends are around the ring tonight is because tonight we have a legends lumberjack match.

3. Christian v Ted DiBiase. We come back from commercial as Christian comes off the ropes and goes over Ted. Christian springs to the second rope and hits a sunset flip for a near fall. They exchange slaps and Christian sends Ted in, but eats a boot. Ted charges and gets tossed over the top to the lumberjacks who send him back in. Christian off the ropes, and Ted follows connecting with a clothesline. Christian pulls himself up in the corner and Ted opens up on him, but walks into a chop. Christian goes for a tornado DDT and Ted throws him off and then kicks him down. Ted to a rear chinlock and Christian fights out, Ted goes for the clothesline and Christian ducks and nails a reverse DDT. Christian follows up with the missile dropkick and gets a near fall. Christian climbs the ropes again, but Ted sweeps the feet out and goes for Dream Street, but Christian sends him to the corner. Christian thrown in the corner and Ted misses a charge and eats the bouncy kick. Christian hits the diving forearm and readies for the Killswitch, but Ted counters. Cole announces that Cody suffered a concussion last night and is out indefinitely. Ted goes for the atomic drop, but Christian flips over and a Ted clothesline sends both out of the ring. The lumberjacks send them both in, but get into it over sending Ted back in. As the legends start slugging it out, DiBiase is distracted and Christian hits the Killswitch for the win. 6.25/10 not a bad match, nice to see the legends out there. After the match Ted DiBiase Sr. comes to help his son up and Jr. pushes his dad away. Junior leaves the ring and Ted looks heartbroken. We get another Shawn moment, January 11, 1992, Marty Jannetty going through the Barbershop window. That was a classic moment, that’s when Shawn became one of my favorites! I bet Jannetty comes out during Shawn’s farewell tonight. We join the guest hosts backstage getting ready to join the divas in the hot tub. We see Kelly, Rosa, Brie and Nikki in the hot tub as the two guys join him.

4. Triple H now comes out to talk. Seriously, more talking, what is this a talk show now? We’re over half hour in and had one match. Triple H stands at the top of the ramp and says it’s a surreal night tonight. HHH calls it the end of an era, as he never thought it would end this way for Shawn. HHH says he knew he could beat him, and didn’t think it would happen this way. HHH says it feels like just yesterday he came in the WWE and saw Shawn Michaels in his overalls and mullet. Hunter’s speech makes it sound like he’s dead, as he says they always had each other and fought everyone and fought side by side and face to face. HHH gives the Wolf Pac sign and says if this is it then he just wanted to come out first, and then he gets all choked up. Hunter says he always had something to say to Shawn but never did and wants to say it in front of the whole world. Suddenly Sheamus attacks HHH from behind with a lead pipe and leaves him laid out. Trainers come to assist HHH back up as we go to commercial.

5. Kelly, Mickie James, Gail Kim, Eve Torres & Beth Phoenix v Michelle McCool, Layla, Vickie Guerrero, Alicia Fox & Maryse. Who did I piss off to have to see this match a second time? Seriously, it was horrible the first time; do we need to see it again? Maryse and Eve start out, and Maryse flips her hair but gets rolled up for the win. DUD for God’s sake what the hell is going on with this shit? Seriously, I’ve had it with this crap. Wasn’t even thirty seconds long, what the hell was the point? Seriously, the match on Impact wasn’t great but at least it went over five minutes. This was just a complete embarrassment to the divas who can wrestle. Vickie gets in Eve’s face and the faces confront her. Vickie turns around and her team abandoned her. Vickie quickly bails out of the ring and the heels jumps the faces now. Horseface can’t even fall out of a ring properly, what a useless pile of shit she is. The face divas celebrate the win in the quickest match on TV, as we get another Shawn Michaels moment. Wrestlemania Ten, Shawn versus Razor Ramon in the ladder match. After the commercial, yet another Shawn moment, Wrestlemania 12, Bret and Shawn’s Iron Man match. This was such a boring match, one of the worst main events ever.

6. Bret Hart now joins us, as the non stop talking show continues. I’ve lost interest in this show now, just boring as hell. I’d rather watch a Jackie Gayda marathon then this shit. Halfway through the show and we’ve had about seven minutes of wrestling, what a joke. Bret starts out by congratulating Shawn Michaels on an epic career, ok that was pretty classy, and says Shawn was one of the greatest of all time. Bret says he got the closure he wanted and it was a great feeling to beat the hell out of Vince at Wrestlemania. Bret says the whole Hart Family beat Vince. Bret says up in heaven is his mom, dad, Owen and Davey Boy sending high fives as this has been a great family. This starts an Owen chant, still can’t believe it’s been eleven years, as Bret reveals a Bret and Owen shirt under his leather jacket. Bret says he thought he’d leave with a bad taste but instead he has joy and satisfaction. Bret says on behalf of himself and the entire Hart Family he wants to thank his fans and waves to the crowd. As Bret readies to leave, out comes ShowMiz, let this lead to a feud between ShowMiz and Hart Dynasty, please, it’ll be the only good from this hellish nightmare of a show. Miz asks Bret; really, you come back and beat Vince in a twenty five on one handicap, well congratulation hero. Miz calls Bret a thief, who’s stealing his time and he’s sick of hearing about who screwed who. Miz calls himself the most glorified champion, and says last night in his first Wrestlemania match he won. He compares his 1-0 streak to Undertaker’s and gets in Bret’s face. Miz says he’s awesome and Bret is overrated and his entire family is overrated. Miz calls Bret the most overrated of all time and tells him to get out of his ring. Bret says if you want him to leave, make him. Miz advances on Bret, and Show stops him and gets in Bret’s face. This brings out the Hart Dynasty, and I’m actually interested for the first time tonight. The Dynasty comes in to back up Bret and ShowMiz leave the ring. Natalya looks amazing tonight in white, very hot! Bret challenges ShowMiz to get in the ring with the Dynasty and Show says no. Miz says they’re the champions and Show says think with your head Miz. They start to head to the ring as we go to commercial.

7. ShowMiz v Hart Dynasty. We come back and the match has started, as Smith has Miz in the delayed vertical Suplex, and holds him up there for a while before dropping Miz. Smith overpowers Miz but caught with his head down, however he clotheslines Miz over the top. Kidd flips over the rope on Miz outside, as Natalya and Bret cheer them on. Miz rolls out and Kid follows, as they roll back in. Show tries to get in and Kidd dropkicks him in the knee, but Show just tosses Kidd away. Show slams Kidd down and throws him in the corner, then tags in Miz, who Show tosses into Kidd. Miz gets a near fall and then mocks Bret Hart before stomping Tyson. Tyson starts to fight back but shoved to the wrong corner and Show tagged in. Show chokes Kidd in the corner and then hits the big chop. Show picks up Tyson and applies a rear chinlock, as Kidd tries to fight out but can’t move the big man. Miz tags himself in and Show looks confused, as Miz kicks Kidd. Miz with the rear chinlock but Kidd fights out and tags in Smith. Smith with a flying shoulder and pair of clotheslines followed by the powerslam. The Harts hit the Hart Attack on Miz, and Kidd applies the Sharpshooter on Miz. Show screams at Miz to listen to him and pulls Miz out of the ring. Show picks up Miz and they head up the ramp as the ref counts. The ref makes the ten count and the Harts win. 6/10 was short, but at least the Harts won. Bret and Natalya hold the Dynasty’s arms high as we get another Shawn Moment. This time it’s the best of D-X, as we see Chyna, Rick Rude and the Spirit Squad. Back to the idiots in the hot tub. Kelly and Rosa leave, followed by the Bella Twins, and in comes Mark Henry. They’re joined by Hornswoggle, as this segment is sucking my will to live.

8. Jack Swagger & Batista v John Cena & Randy Orton. Swagger has a microphone and his new robe, Swagger says can you smell the smell of money in the bank. Swagger says he told everyone he was going to win MITB and when he wants something he is the odds on favorite to get it. Swagger says earlier he was just messing with Cena, but when he cashes it in he will be the odds on favorite to walk away with the WWE title. After Batista enters, out comes Pylon Man to announce his partner. Cena says his partner is someone Batista knows, an old friend, as here comes Randy Orton. Cena and Swagger start out with a lockup and Swagger gets him in the corner and misses the punch. Cena hammers him and sends him to the corner, then nails the Suplex. Cena tags in Orton, this team just seem wrong, and Orton does the Garvin stomp on Swagger. The crowd already chanting RKO, as Orton drives the knee in the face of Swagger. Orton readies for the RKO and Swagger slides out quickly as we go to commercial. We come back and Swagger with a reverse bearhug on Cena, and Cena tries to fight out and Swagger hits a belly to back Suplex for a near fall. Swagger hits the Vader Bomb for another near fall, and Batista tags himself in. Batista sends Cena to the corner and Cena crumples to the mat, Batista stands on Cena’s hand. Batista with a snapmare and jumping neck snap, well that was new, followed by a kick for a near fall. Cena fights back and comes off the ropes right into the spinebuster, as Batista channels his inner Warrior. Batista goes for Batista Bomb, but Cena backdrops Batista. Cena crawls to his corner, as Lawler calls this a great match, yeah right. Both make a tag, and Orton clotheslines Swagger twice and then hits the powerslam. Orton with the backbreaker for a near fall and Batista makes the save, then spears Cena. Orton hits the RKO on Batista and one for Swagger for the win. 5/10 it was what it was, which means it was not much of interest. So Swagger wins MITB and then jobs the next night, way to build him out. Time for another Shawn Moment, as we see Shawn versus Undertaker from last year.

9. Shawn Michaels says farewell to the WWE. The crowd immediately starts an HBK chant, and Shawn looks surprised. Before he can say one word the gong strikes, and the lights drop, and we get a visit from Grandpa, I mean Undertaker. Undertaker comes out to the top of the ramp, tips his hat to Shawn and leaves, well that was nice but pointless at the same time. The crowd resumes its HBK chant, and Shawn finally begins. Shawn says he’s not sure what he’s going to say tonight, and the crowd begins to chant “Please don’t go”. Shawn says when he was 19 he started doing this stuff, and at 23 he started to come into everyone’s home each week. Shawn says now at 44, not coming into people’s home is going to be tough. The crowd now chants “Thank you Shawn”, as Shawn continues and appreciates the crowd but he has to thank them. Shawn’s crying, as he says for the longest time the ring and the fans were all he had and this was the only place he felt good about himself. Shawn continues, night in and night out, the fans were only ones who made him like himself. Shawn says he would like to thank people, but he’s afraid he’ll forget someone but he does have to say one name, Hunter. Shawn says he has to thank Hunter for being a friend when no one else wanted to, and he wasn’t an easy person to be around but Hunter never left his side. Shawn says in this line of work it’s hard to have friendships, but he has a real friendship with Hunter for the last sixteen years. Shawn says he has to thank lot of people in the trucks, holding the camera, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross and says they make him look better then he really was. Shawn says there’s a crazy red headed kid in Stamford, CT named Adam who puts together the video we’ve seen over the years and thanks him for making him look like a superstars. The crowd now chants “One more match”, c’mon it’s been twenty four hours people. Shawn says he knows how a lot of people feel about career ending matches, and a lot of people are skeptical of his decision but he doesn’t want to go back on his word. Shawn says for twenty plus years he’s been an open book and doesn’t hide from who he is and he will honor his word to the fans and Undertaker but he will not do one more match. Shawn continues with one more guy to thank, Bret Hart, who he says in the nineties he drove that poor guy crazy and everything Bret said he had the right to say it. Shawn thanks Bret for accepting and believing that he knew he made mistakes and he changed and would honor his friendship if he ever gave it back, and thanks Bret for giving him the opportunity. Shawn then mentions Vince McMahon, and the crowd boos, Shawn says he may get in trouble for mentioning him, but it’s his speech and he’ll say what he wants. Shawn says there is no way he can work for anyone else, after working for him for twenty plus years he could never do another gig again. Shawn says the only person he drove crazier than Bret is Vince and he knows that Vince gave him the opportunity to do what he loves and appreciated him not letting him make bigger mistakes. Shawn says he was on a crash course, but if Vince had not kept him on course he wouldn’t be here today. Shawn finishes by thanking each and every fan, and the crowd chants “Thank you Shawn”. Shawn says he has gotten to travel around the world, meet millions of people and listen to each and every one for the majority of his life and spent more time with the fans then his family and he doesn’t say it with regret. Shawn thanks the fans for giving him the honor and privilege of showing off each and every night. The HBK chants begin again, as Shawn thanks God for saving him and says to his family, Daddy is coming home. Shawn says this is how it started and this is how it’s going to end, “The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels has left the building”. Shawn gets a standing ovation as he waves goodbye to the crowd one final time. I hope he sticks to his word and stays gone, I’ve been a Shawn fan for years, but it’s time to call it a career. Shawn heads up the ramp and stomps at the top to wave goodbye one last time, as we hear Sexy Boy. Goodbye Shawn, have a great retirement! Suddenly Triple H comes from behind and they hug at the top of the ramp. Triple H lays the glow sticks on the ramp in the D-X symbol and leaves as Shawn walks to the backstage we fade to black.

Match Recap:

1. Christian pinned Ted DiBiase 6.25/10

2. Face Divas pinned Heel Divas DUD

3. Hart Dynasty beat ShowMiz by countout 6/10

4. John Cena & Randy Orton beat Batista & Jack Swagger 5/10

What a horrible episode of RAW this was, a complete waste of time other than Shawn’s farewell speech. Why did they even bother with the diva match, when it lasted less than ten seconds? Although I’m glad to see the Hart Dynasty finally getting a good push, let’s hope it lasts. For the post Wrestlemania RAW, this was pathetic. Glad they had Swagger win the MITB, nice booking have him job to Orton the next night. That was sheer brilliance, and people complain about TNA’s booking? Score it TNA wins again 3-1, as Impact was so much better than this waste of two hours. One word sums up this show, BLECH!


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