Chris' Blog

TNA Impact – March 29, 2010


I must say I’m very interested in tonight’s episode of Impact; I’m looking forward to the First Blood match with Daffney and Tara. It should be a very good match, as well as the nWo facing Hardy, Van Dam & Eric Young. That’s just as long as X-Pac does the majority of the match for his team. With that, let’s get to Impact.

We open the show with the recap of Eric Bischoff wearing a guitar necklace courtesy of Jeff Jarrett. From there we get highlights of the Mick Foley and Jeff Jarrett match with Beer Money refereeing. Tonight’s episode is called “V for Vigilante”

1. Hulk Hogan and Jeff Jarrett opens the show in the office, as Jeff tells Hulk he doesn’t have to apologize. Hulk says he has respect for Jeff and tells him to get in the ring and kick AJ Styles ass to become number one contender. As Jeff leaves in comes Jay Lethal, in full Macho Man regalia, who asks if he can fill in for Hulk who’s leaving for New York. Hulk says he can’t think of anyone else take his place tonight, and they do a Megapower handshake. From there we go to our opening video.

2. Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, X-Pac & Bubba the Love Sponge makes their way to the ring. Thank God Hall is wearing a shirt, we can’t see his beer gut. Bubba calls the fans sheep and marks and they all want to be him. Bubba says he doesn’t need the job, then go home fat ass, but if he has to be there these are the people he wants to be with. The fans chant “Thank You Foley” who busted Bubba’s nose last week. Nash takes the mic and says he was friends with Eric Young, and man to man he wants Young to come to ring for an apology. Yeah, like anyone can trust Nash, seriously. Young comes down the ramp, modeling the Lockdown shirt, and slowly enters the ring. Nash says what they did was wrong but he needs to realize they are friends and what he did was business. Nash says they’d like Eric to join their group, but this match tonight will not happen. Nash claims Hardy and RVD are not in their league, that’s because they’re not in their forties. Nash asks if he wants to join and Young responds by punching Nash, but the numbers catch up to him. Nash tells him that’s a big mistake and X-Pac drops the leg across the face, then Hall pulls him up and holds him for Nash to punch him. Jeff Hardy & RVD make the save, and the nWo bail. What the hell is Hardy wearing on his head, seriously? Hardy says they’re ready to do the six man tag right now, but since they think they’re the main event, it’s the main event tonight. Hardy says in honor of Lockdown it’s going to be a cage match, and then starts singing his theme song.

3. Brian Kendrick & Doug Williams v Kaz & Shannon Moore. Brian Kendrick pushes past his partner on their way to the ring. Shannon Moore comes to ring with a book on a chain around his neck. Williams & Kendrick argue who starts and Shannon clubs Kendrick down and brings in Williams the hard way. Moore clubs Williams in the corner and tags in Kaz, who hits a high knee for a near fall. Kaz slams Williams and hits a slingshot legdrop, but Doug pulls the leg and tags Kendrick. Kendrick comes in and gets hit with two arm drags and sent to the corner and Kaz follows with the dropkick. Kaz charges in again, but Kendrick pulls the ref in front allowing Doug to clothesline Kaz down. Shannon has the ref busy and Kendrick & Doug double team Kaz, then Doug tagged in. Doug drops a knee to the face then snapmares Kaz down before applying a head scissors. Doug drives Kaz’s face to the mat and tags Kendrick back in. Brian chokes him in the corner and snapmares him out. Kendrick with a Camel Clutch and hammers the face at the same time. Brian transitions to a sleeper, but Kaz fights out and comes off the ropes and both men collide headfirst. Kaz tries to make a tag and Kendrick catches him, but he slides out and both men make the tag. Shannon with a spinkick on Doug, but sent to the corner and Doug misses the charge. Moore hits a top rope Hurricanrana and Kendrick makes the save. Kaz catches Kendrick, and Moore hits the spinkick while Kaz Suplexes Kendrick. However this allows Doug to hit the knee to the head of Kaz, then a battering ram on Moore. Doug sets Moore in the corner and charges in but eats the feet. Shannon hits a Blockbuster on Moore as Kaz holds Doug back allowing the win! 7.5/10 great fast paced opening match, very impressive. After the match Moore pulls out lipstick and writes on the face of Kendrick as Doug heads up the ramp. We go backstage to Eric Bischoff’s office as he’s on the phone and say he’ll make things work. Eric hangs up the phone and in comes his assistant, who looks familiar, and Eric says he wants her to keep someone out of the office. She asks who, as Jay Lethal comes in and says they’ll be working side by side. Jay says he has the card and hands it to Bischoff, and the card has the Killer Bees, Iron Sheik, Koko, Akeem, Bundy and JYD, well that sounds better than any current episode of RAW! Eric tells him to go think up a main event and he leaves, and Eric tells his assistant to go get Beer Money.

4. D’Angelo Dinero v Desmond Wolfe. Well, let’s hope this gets sufficient time, as this could be a great match. Dinero has the microphone and says at Lockdown the Pope will face AJ in the cage for the World Title, and that’s going to be a classic. Pope says he’s waited his entire career for this and almost lost it because of AJ and Ric Flair. Pope says AJ has been walking on the edge hoping that Pope doesn’t know he’s alive, because AJ is just a shadow in the street light. Dinero says daybreak is soon to come, and the Pope offers some advice. Pope tells AJ to head to Cape Canaveral and the Space Center and to rent or steal an astronaut suit, because at Lockdown he’s going to take AJ to the outer limits. Dinero does his classic catchphrase and the crowd erupts, WWE really screwed up losing him. This man is one of the best on the mic, ever, better than Rock even. Pope says after Lockdown he will be the Champion, and the Pope will declare that the Pope is Pimping! Desmond Wolfe’s music starts, but out comes the beautiful Chelsea, to a huge “Chelsea” chant. The people love her, as Pope holds the ropes open for her. Pope asks Chelsea what he can do for her, she says there is one thing he can do for her. Chelsea says she always gets what she wants, what there is one dream she had she wants him to help her with, she wants to be a ho! Quick call the Godfather! Pope says he’ll lay his hands on her very soon, but first he has a question, does she know how to drive a stick! Chelsea responds she doesn’t know exactly but she’s a quick learner, and asks if he’s happy to see her. Desmond comes through the crowd and tries to sneak attack Pope, but he saw him coming and lays out Desmond. Pope then grabs a hold of Chelsea and plants a Rude Awakening style kiss on her. Pope then stuff money down Chelsea’s top! Well, that was entertaining at least; Tenay says the match is later tonight. We now get a grainy looking video of Samoa Joe, well here I though they forgot about that storyline. Joe says they have spoken and the results are a little different, very different. Tazz says Joe has surfaced but who is they, and then they go over tonight’s matches.

5. We get interrupted by some new music and suddenly we see a figure being lowered to the ring. No offense but that’s just a creepy thing to see, even if it has been almost eleven years since the Owen Hart tragedy. The person is covered in yellow caution tape, and it’s Orlando Jordan who’s lowered in the center of the ring. His new music talks about guys wanting him as he rolls around the ring, thankfully he has shorts on underneath. Orlando walks through the crowd to a curtain, which is then raised and we see a girl and guy sitting there as we go backstage.

6. Tara v Daffney. Jeremy Borash is with Tara, who faces Zombie Hot tonight for the title. Tara says Daffney took her spider, her baby, and people say she’s dangerous. Tara says tonight is not about pin or submission, but about pure blood and that’s ok with her. Suddenly Daffney charges in and says that ok with her too as she nails Tara. Daffney and Tara slug it out backstage and Tara throws her into the stairs then into a case. Tara tosses her into the fence backstage and says she’s going to pay as she rams her into the cage repeatedly. Daffney kicks Tara as we go to commercial. We come back as they fight down the ramp, and Tara slams Daffney into the stage area. Daffney kicks Tara back and tosses her into the steel floor and then bites her face. Tara hits a jawbreaker and they wind up in the announce area, as Mike gets too close. Tara pulls Daffney down the stairs by the hair, but Daffney kicks her again and pounds her. Tara tossed into the announce platform, as Mike’s headset got knocked out. Daffney chokes Tara with a cord and drags her back to the ring. This is how you use the girls, I love it. Daffney under the ring and pulls out a stick which she rams in the gut of Tara. Tara rolls in the ring, and Daffney breaks the broomstick, and brings in the piece of wood. Daffney goes to spike her, but Tara tries to block it. Tara overpowers Daffney and kicks her in the face then hits the Widow’s Peak, damn. Tara looking around the ring and grabs the toolbox, that Daffney put in the corner and cracks Daffney in the face. Daffney’s busted open and the match end, damn! 6.75/10 wish it went longer, but it was still a good match for what we got. Just a brawl, but better than what the WWE does with the divas. Daffney realizes she’s bleeding and licks it off her hand while laughing, was barely even any blood.

7. Jeff Jarrett v AJ Styles. AJ originally comes out alone, but Chelsea then wheels out Ric Flair. AJ & Jeff circle each other and then lock up. AJ with an armdrag and mocks Jarrett. Another lockup, and AJ with a side headlock takedown, then slaps the back of Jeff’s head. They lockup again and AJ with an armbar, but Jeff counters and sends AJ to the ropes and goes for the armdrag, but AJ counters. Ric Flair laughing at Jeff from up the ramp, as Jeff slowly gets up. AJ poses for the crowd, and another lockup with AJ going to the side headlock and gets shot in, AJ comes back with a shoulderblock. AJ off the ropes and Jeff trips him then two armdrags followed by the choke on the ropes. Jeff pummels the champion and sends him in again, and follows with the yam bag crusher, then clotheslines AJ out. Jeff tosses the strut and Flair is angered, as Jeff follows outside. Jeff throws AJ but gets caught coming in and AJ sends him to the corner. AJ misses the splash and Jeff hits the enziguri for a near fall. Jeff pulls him up, and AJ grabs the leg and nails a knee breaker then follows with a series of shots to the knee. AJ applies the figure four leglock as Flair wheeled closer and AJ uses Flair’s cane for leverage. The ref catches them and breaks the hold, as AJ sends Jeff in and catches AJ’s leg. AJ goes for the enziguri and Jeff ducks and locks in the figure four and uses the ropes. Flair hits Jeff hands with the cane and the ref catches him and sends him to the back. Security comes out and wheels Ric backstage, this distracts AJ. Jeff takes advantage as we go to commercial, and when we come back AJ has a chinlock on Jeff. Jeff breaks the hold and comes off the ropes and goes for the sunset flip but AJ punches Jeff. AJ follows up with the knee drop to Jeff’s head and back to the chinlock. Jeff elbows his way out of the hold but AJ pulls him down by the hair. AJ pulls Jeff up and rams him in the corner and then chops him in the corner before snapmaring him out. AJ goes back to the chinlock but Jeff powers his way out, wait is some guy in the front row wearing a Ghostbusters Shirt? Great, now I’m distracted, and Jeff hits a belly to back Suplex and follows up with a Pedigree, that was great! Jeff climbs the ropes and dives down, but AJ catches him with a knee followed by a butterfly Suplex, impressive. AJ goes to the apron and hits the springboard forearm, which always looks cool, and gets a near fall. AJ goes for the Styles Clash, but Jeff counters to the Alabama Slam. The ref starts the count, but then stops and sees Ric Flair and Chelsea back at ringside. With the ref distracted AJ grabs Jeff, but sends him to the ropes knocking the ref off the apron into Flair. Jeff runs into AJ’s boot and AJ charges but Jeff flings him overhead into the steel post. Jeff hits the Stroke from the middle rope and covers, but no referee. Suddenly we see Bischoff come through the crowd with a guitar and slides in the ring. Jeff looks at the ref and turns around as Eric swings, but Jeff blocks it and readies to crack Eric. AJ hits Jeff in the yam bag and quickly nails the Styles Clash as Eric grabs the ref, AJ is gushing from his hand. More blood from AJ’s hand then we had in the First Blood match as the ref tossed in by Eric. The ref counts three and AJ scores the win. 7/10 not a bad match, but the ending was cheap. After the commercial we see Lethal in the back working on the card as Eric comes up to him. Jay says he has the perfect main event, Brutus Beefcake versus the Model, I love it. Eric says no, he has it and there is only one main eventer in the building tonight, to which Jay asks if it’s Jimmy Snuka. Eric says no, only one man should be in the ring, Jay Lethal. Eric says they’re going to be playing his music and he’ll find out his opponent when he gets there.

8. Jay Lethal v Beer Money. I can’t be the only one hoping for Beefcake, Kamala or even better Outback Jack! Jay Lethal comes out in his Macho Madness best; it’s been way too long since Jay’s been on TV. Another reason TNA needs a second show, too many people and not enough time. Damn, it’s Beer Money, that’s a massive letdown. So this a handicap match, I hate these. BMI quickly double team Jay and hammer him down, then send him in and hit a huge backdrop. Jay rolls out and they follow and continue the offense on Lethal, then send him crashing to the stairs. Storm screams how’s it feel to be a main eventer, well this isn’t the main event so. They throw him in and hit a double Suplex, then do the Beer Money cheer, wait, you’re supposed to be bad guys’ dumbasses. Jay finally starts to fight back, but gets hit with the urunage. Storm grabs his beer as Jay rolls up Roode for the upset win! 6/10 well, it was fast paced and an upset, but a handicap match is still an annoyance to me. We see Eric Bischoff pissed off backstage as Lethal heads up the ramp and drinks Storm’s beer. We get a recap of the ‘injury’ to Hernandez from last week.

9. D’Angelo Dinero v Desmond Wolfe. Well, now we finally get the match. Desmond attacks Dinero as he’s removing his sunglasses. Desmond takes down Pope with a hammerlock and drives him to the mat, but Pope counters out to a hammerlock of his own. Desmond makes the ropes and catches Pope with a back elbow. Wolfe starts to work the leg of the Pope, but Dinero reverses it and Wolfe makes the ropes as we see Chelsea looking on. Desmond kicks Pope and nails a big uppercut, then sends him to the turnbuckle. Desmond twists the Pope’s arm and drives him down, and Chelsea approves. Desmond twists the arm again, and Pope tries to fight back, but Desmond hammers him. Desmond off the ropes and Pope catches him with the chop followed by an inverted atomic drop. Pope with the flying shoulderblock and then the Thesz Press with punches ala Stone Cold. Desmond kicks Pope and sends him to the corner, but Pope moves and hits the palm thrust. Pope hits the springing elbow as Chelsea is on the ramp distracting the ref as we see Desmond pulling chain from his boots. Desmond knocks out Pope with the chain and makes the cover for the surprise win! 7/10 was a good match, but needed more time. People will complain that the number one contender got pinned, but maybe this will make it a three way match instead. The loss won’t hurt Pope, he’s so over right now, and it’s insane. We come back from commercial and see the steel cage has been erected already.

10. Kurt Angle makes his way to the ring, and says since Anderson joined TNA he has been after Angle. Angle says people think Anderson is as good as Angle, and asks Anderson if he knows who Angle is. Angle tells Anderson who he really is, an Olympic Champion who wins and plays by the rules, and is always in control. Angle says he lost control though and says maybe because Anderson spit in his face, or cut him, or degraded the troops of the US. Angle says one thing is for sure, at Lockdown it will be one last time, in the cage with no rules, regulations or control. Angle promises Anderson at the end of the match, Angle will be covered in Anderson’s blood, which brings out Anderson. Anderson says he thinks it’s about time they get damn real, and this way between them has to stop. Anderson says week after week they bloody each other, and Anderson beats Angle and Angle beats Anderson, it’s all even. Anderson says only one man will emerge victorious, and a little birdie told him that there will be a match next week on Impact between them. Anderson says it will be a ladder match next week, live on Impact and at the top of the ladder will be a key that opens a lock that opens the door to the cage at Lockdown. Anderson says the better man will not win next week, because Angle is a better man than he is and says nice guys finish last. Anderson tells Angle that he’s happy he’s an asshole. As Angle heads up the ramp, Nash and company come down the ramp. Angle and Nash do the wolf pack thing as he passes.

11. Kevin Nash, Scott Hall & X-Pac v Eric Young, Jeff Hardy & RVD. As Eric runs to the door X-Pac swings the door in his face, and now they triple team Hardy and RVD. Pac hits a spinkick to the face of RVD, as Nash tosses Jeff in the cage and Hall brings RVD in. Pac locks the door with Young still on the floor, Hall and Nash work over RVD and Hardy. Hall gets sent to the buckle by Hardy, but nailed from behind by Pac. Pac works over Hardy, as Hall send RVD into the cage wall. Pac hits the bronco buster on Hardy, can’t believe he’s still doing that stupid move. Nash drives the knee in to RVD, as Hall and Pac double team Hardy. RVD kicks at Nash, and Hardy powerbombs X-Pac down. Van Dam kicking Hall and Nash, then hits Rolling Thunder on Pac. Hardy with a low dropkick, but Hall gets RVD in the corner, then Hardy whipped at Van Dam who drops down. Hardy jumps off the back of RVD into Hall, as RVD takes the knees out of Nash. We see Young, bloodied and climbing the cage as Pac tries to cut him off. RVD grabs Pac from behind and throws him back down. All three nWo guys down and Van Dam hits the Frog Splash as Hardy hits the Senton Bomb. Young atop the cage and drives the elbow to the heart of X-Pac for the win! 8/10 a fast paced and very impressive match. Was better than I expected, and very cool. Well, now the Nasty Boys are gone, maybe we can get rid of the nWo too, would be great. We go backstage to Abyss and Christy Hemme, as Abyss makes the announcement of his next team partner for Lethal Lockdown. Abyss announces that joining him will be three hungry warriors, who will be bloodthirsty and have an axe to grind. Abyss says he made his selection for the second member of Team Hogan, good that means Hulk and Flair won’t be wrestling, and it’s Jeff Jarrett! Jeff says the war with him and Eric is just getting started, but first he’s proud to be on Hulk’s team. Jeff says if Flair wants to cost him the title, he’s going to cost Flair matches and in one night he will blow off all his frustration. Abyss says it’s your move Nature Boy! We go back to the ringside area as Jeff Hardy, RVD and Eric Young celebrate with the fans as we fade to black.

Match Recap:

1. Shannon Moore & Kaz beat Doug Williams & Brian Kendrick 7.5/10

2. Tara beat Daffney 6.75/10

3. AJ Styles beat Jeff Jarrett 7/10

4. Desmond Wolfe pinned D’Angelo Dinero 7/10

5. Jeff Hardy, RVD & Eric Young beat nWo 8/10

Well, this really was a mixed bag of a show. The majority of the show was good, and they kept the backstage crap to a minimum which is nice to see. The opening match was very impressive and quick paced. The knockout match was a massive disappointment, as it was too short, and Daffney lost. The AJ/Jarrett match was very good, as was Wolfe and Dinero’s match. The main event was better than I could’ve expected. Even though I looked forward to it, I expected a train wreck, and instead got a very remarkable main event. I hope RAW can keep up with TNA this week!


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