Chris' Blog

Monday Night RAW – March 22, 2010


I was watching Impact before watching RAW, but haven’t been able to find a copy of last night’s Impact yet. So, we’re going to start Wrestlemania week with Monday Night RAW, as we rapidly approach the big day. This is basically the last chance for Kofi to be added to the PPV, so wonder if they’ll finally do something, if not, I wonder who he pissed off. Right now we still have no women’s matches at Wrestlemania, and hopefully they rectify this problem. Of course knowing WWE they’ll either do a battle royal or multi woman tag to get everyone on the show. I’d rather just see a four corner elimination match with McCool, Phoenix, Maryse, if she’s healthy Mickie, if not Gail, to unify the titles. So with only six days till Wrestlemania, let’s see what the WWE has to offer to finish the build.

Was Warrior always in the opening video, the one with DiBiase, Monsoon, etc? I don’t honestly remember seeing that before. Great start the Warrior is returning rumors; maybe he can be part of the Straight Edge Society, just kidding.

1. Shawn Michaels makes his way down the aisle for tonight’s opening interview, as Cole asks if this could be the last time we see Shawn on RAW? We get a recap of the squashing of Drew McIntyre; let’s make sure everyone gets to see it, and Shawn Michaels hitting Sweet Chin Music on Undertaker on Smackdown. Shawn starts out by saying he has a feeling, the same feeling he had back in January 1992 before sending Marty Jannetty through the Barbershop window. He continues it’s the same feeling he had in March 1996 when he beat Bret Hart and the same feeling he had on Smackdown when he kicked Undertaker’s death down his throat. Shawn says it’s the feeling he can do anything, anyone else have the song “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better” go through their head. Shawn wonders if its coincidence that there is a new Shawn Michaels DVD out just as he puts his career on the line, makes you think things are coming to an end. Shawn says clear room off the DVD shelf as this will be the start of volume 2, and after Wrestlemania Shawn says he will no longer be the “Heart Bake Kid”, that’s what he said! Shawn says he may cease being Shawn Michaels but he will forever be remembered as the one and only man who ended the Undertaker’s undefeated streak. Shawn says in six days the Undertaker will…but gets cut off as the lights go out and we get a career retrospective of Shawn Michaels. It ends with footage from Wrestlemania XXV of Undertaker pinning Shawn and a graphic showing “Shawn Michaels Career 1985-2010”. That was kind of cool actually, fun to watch Shawn’s hairline run from his forehead!!! Either he’s losing hair or his head is getting taller!!! Shawn says he appreciates Undertaker trying to intimidate him and tells him to come out and do it to his face. Instead of Undertaker though we get out guest host for this week, Pete Rose, who stands at the top of the ramp, guess he didn’t want to get super kicked. Pete wishes Shawn good luck at Wrestlemania and says Shawn is the right man to end the streak. Pete says as guest host he’d like Shawn Michaels to compete tonight against Kane, wait isn’t Kane on Smackdown? Same stipulations as Wrestlemania as Pete wants revenge on Kane for all the tombstone piledrivers. Shawn says he will get revenge for Pete and for himself. We now get a long drawn out recap of the John Cena and Batista match from Summerslam, as we see Cena getting injured during the match with the dramatic music.

2. The Miz v John Morrison. I’m glad to see two distinct brands with no crossover, oh wait never mind. So we have Morrison, Truth and Kane on here tonight, all from Smackdown. So tonight we have a battle of former tag team champions, interesting. They lock up and Morrison with an armbar, as Show calls Miz a warrior, if you so Show. Show calls Morrison a Solid Gold dancer, hello Big Show the seventies called and want their reference back. Morrison sends Miz to the floor and goes to dive on him, Miz moves and Morrison lands on the apron and follows with a nice Asai Moonsault as we go to commercial. We come back and Miz has a rear chinlock on Morrison, glad to see he’s learning quality time killers from the Big Slow. Morrison tries to fight out and Miz pulls him down by his hair. Miz goes for the running kick and Morrison ducks and rolls him up, Miz kicks out and then kicks Morrison. Miz grinds the face of Morrison in the mat and goes back to the rear chinlock. Morrison again tries to fight out and Miz gets a kneelift in, but Morrison fights back and gets Miz in the corner and unloads on Miz. Morrison charges in the corner and eats an elbow, Miz charges at Morrison and gets caught in a flapjack. Morrison hits the charging knee to the face and gets a near fall. Morrison is unloading on his former partner and slides under Miz, pulling him down and climbs the ropes. Miz catches him and they battle on the top rope, Miz goes for a superplex but Morrison fights him off, and nails a top rope sunset flip/powerbomb. Morrison hits the Starship Pain for the victory. 6.75/10 not a bad match, but Miz spent too much time on chinlocks which dragged it down a bit. After the match R-Truth and Big Show, who were doing commentary, get in each other’s face and Show knocks him down. Morrison hits a baseball slide knocking Big Show over and Truth & Wisdom quickly head up the ramp. We go backstage to see Triple H putting on his knee pad, compelling TV! Triple H asks Orton why he thinks he wants to talk with him and asks if he thinks their past goes away. HHH warns him if he screws him he’ll drop him, Orton says he’ll keep that in mind and reminds HHH he still has to make it to Wrestlemania. It must be killing HHH that he’s not in a title match for Wrestlemania. More hype for Cena and Batista, nothing they do is going to make me care about this match.

3. Kofi Kingston v Vladimir Kozlov. This is the final qualifier match for MITB, and Jack Swagger is joining us for guest commentary. Well, it’s nice to see Vladimir but he has no chance in Hell of winning this match. I think Kozlov is going to be future endeavored after Wrestlemania, along with Primo, Carlito, Matt Hardy, Archer, Barreta, Croft and probably more. Kofi quickly tries to kick Kozlov who avoids them and grabs the foot. Kofi wisely bails out of the ring and Kozlov tries to pull him in, but Kofi hits the hotshot and slides in. Kozlov misses the clothesline but hits the headbutt, followed by the clutching headbutts and a belly to belly Suplex gets a near fall. Kozlov with a horizontal backbreaker, its shades of Jesse Ventura or John Studd, but Kofi fights out. Kofi off the ropes and Kozlov easily catching Kofi and nails a fall-away slam. Kozlov sets Kofi on the top rope and delivers a series of headbutts to the midsection. Kozlov with a kick to the gut and goes for a running powerslam but Kofi has a hold of the ropes and turning it into a tornado DDT. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise for the win. 3/10 was all Kozlov until the DDT then Kofi hits his finisher for the win. Lame ending to the match, and I don’t understand the jobbing of Kozlov, he could still be a big star. So we now have all ten men in the MITB, Kofi joins Ziggler, Swagger, Hardy, Kane, McIntyre, Shelton, Christian, Bourne, MVP. It’s too many guys in one match, going to be too chaotic. Six was plenty, what will they do next year 20 men? After the commercial we get the Hall of Fame announcement for Stu Hart.

4. Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase & Sheamus v Triple H & Randy Orton. Before the match Cody has a mic, this can’t be good, and says this Sunday at Wrestlemania he will be with Ted against Randy in a triple threat match. Cody says it’s been eighteen months of verbal tirades and physical abuse from Randy Orton and now they are finally free. Cody says people think Randy shaped Ted and Cody into Superstars but says they would’ve been Superstars without him. Cody says they didn’t need Randy Orton, Randy needed them. Ted says at Wrestlemania it doesn’t matter which one wins as long as Randy loses and his arrogance will be exposed. Cody says people call Orton the future of the WWE, and says he is six years younger than Randy and three years younger than Ted. Ted says they’re not the most liked but jealousy is human nature and it’s not their fault, great now he’s channeling Snitsky! Ted says he was born in a family of wealth and people don’t like that, as he point out Cody didn’t come from wealth either. Cody says he will win, and Ted glares at him. Cody and HHH start the match and Triple H with a kick and then hammer Rhodes in the corner. Cody shot to the opposite corner and HHH follows with a clothesline, but a second time backfires and Ted tagged in. HHH catches Ted and clotheslines him and glares at Orton, which allows Ted to get a shot in. Ted whips HHH in but gets caught in a face breaker; HHH nails Sheamus but turns into a dropkick from DiBiase. Sheamus pulls HHH out and rams him in the barricade and throws him back in. Sheamus tagged in and they slug it out, with Sheamus hitting a clothesline. DiBiase tagged back in and works over The Game in the corner, then tags in Rhodes who continues the offense. DiBiase back in and chokes HHH in the corner, while Ted has the ref Sheamus get a cheapshot in. Ted with a snapmare and tags Cody back in, and Cody stomps HHH. HHH starts to fight back and goes for a backdrop, but Cody steals a move from his brother Goldust and nails a low uppercut. Cody comes off the ropes and runs into a HHH spinebuster and both men are down. Cody and HHH make the tag, as Sheamus and Orton comes in and catches Sheamus with a powerslam, then brings DiBiase in the hard way, and catches Rhodes with a powerslam. Sheamus misses a clothesline and Orton hits the backbreaker and readies for the RKO. Cody gets on the apron and distracts Orton who goes for the DDT, but Sheamus hits the pump kick for the win. 6.75/10 not a bad match, but Orton was barely in the match. After the match Legacy tosses HHH in the ring and Sheamus goes for the kick, but HHH ducks and clotheslines Sheamus to the floor. More hype for the Batista/Cena match, as I care even less.

5. Bret Hart comes out to a pretty good ovation, and of course no longer has the cast on his leg after revealing last week he set Vince up. Bret says when he came back he never dreamed he’d get another shot to go to Wrestlemania and have a chance he’s waited for a long time. Bret says he left the WWE twelve years ago and it left a dirty taste in his mouth, why it’s not like he ever joined the Vince McMahon kiss my ass club. Bret says he has a street fight with Vince and it’s just what he wanted and after Wrestlemania all people will hear is Bret beat Vince, as he gets the lemmings to chant along with him. Bret says Vince called his family a bunch of dysfunctional derelicts and on Sunday in Phoenix there will be a lot of dysfunctional derelicts to induct Stu and Vince better keep his head low. Bret mentions how half the McMahon family has left the WWE, but his family will be there to watch Bret give Vince the beat down of his life. Didn’t we have this match with Vince and Shawn a couple years ago how’s this going to be any different? Bret says people want him to get his hand on Vince, as he screws up and says next week he will do that. Bret talks about past Wrestlemanias with Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, Roddy Piper, Owen Hart, and Yokozuna. Bret makes a promise to the fans that Wrestlemania will be the best there is, best there was and best there ever will be. As Bret’s music begins to play out comes Mr. McMahon, who stays at the top of the ramp. Vince says “This Sunday Bret, one way or another, you’re screwed!”

6. Shawn Michaels v Kane. Shawn uses his speed to avoid Kane and begins chopping him, but Kane overpowers HBK. Kane pummels Shawn in the corner and follows with the snapmare/dropkick combo for a near fall. Kane with a delayed vertical Suplex, he doesn’t hold him nearly as long as Hernandez does in TNA. Kane with a rear chinlock and goes back to pummeling Shawn as he hits the corner clothesline then stomps Shawn. Good to see our guest host has done next to nothing so far, and I guess we’re ending with Cena and Batista stare down. Kane meanwhile connects with a sideslam for another near fall, and then climbs the ropes. Kane misses the diving clothesline, as Shawn grabs the arm and applies the Crippler Crossface, that’s just creepy. Kane makes the ropes breaking the hold, and Shawn charges in and goes for the chokeslam. Shawn fights off and quickly applies the Kurt Angle Ankle Lock, but Kane makes the ropes again. Shawn hits the inverted atomic drop and chops the Big Red Machine, but gets sent in and comes back with the flying forearm. Shawn hits the diving elbow drop and readies for Sweet Chin Music. As Shawn starts to stomp, the lights go out and when they come back on Undertaker is in the ring. Undertaker chokeslams Shawn in the middle of the ring and the lights go out, when they come back on Kane is standing over the fallen Shawn. Kane quickly covers HBK and gets a near fall as Shawn shockingly kicks out. Kane picks up Shawn and goes for the Tombstone but Shawn slides down the back and hits Sweet Chin Music for the win. 5/10 not a bad match, but too short and I doubt anyone thought Kane had a chance. We get more Cena/Batista hype and then hype for Smackdown, with a ten man tag match and Vickie Guerrero faces Beth Phoenix. After the commercial we get our final announcement for the Hall of Fame, Bob Uecker. The classic footage of Andre the Giant choking him, I always loved that scene. What no Mr. Belvedere references?? We go backstage to Pete Rose with Christian, as Pete says he’s happy to have gotten his revenge on Kane. Pete says his luck is changing and opens his dressing room door, only to be grabbed by Kane who pulls him in. We hear a beating going on as Christian stands at the door wincing.

7. Eve, Gail Kim & Beth Phoenix v Michelle McCool, Layla & Maryse. Well, it’s nice to see the afterthoughts of the WWE finally. They show Kelly and Mickie James at ringside, while Maryse’s team comes out with Alicia Fox & Vickie Guerrero. I bet we get a ten diva match at Wrestlemania with all these divas. This six diva match probably won’t even get three minutes. Horseface and Gail start, and horseface gets taken down with a back elbow as Gail follows up with a Hurricanrana. Horseface pulls herself up in the corner and Gail dives into her and then a big clothesline for a near fall. Mickie looks great out there, as Gail takes out Layla and then goes for a roll up, but horseface counters. Horseface nails the Styles Clash for the win at just about a minute. DUD what a waste of time that was, the other four were not even in the match. Seriously it’s time to disband the diva division and release them into the wild, they get no TV time and barely used, it’s despicable. Team Ugly & Maryse head up the ramp while the other girls check on Kim. And more Cena/Batista hype.

8. Batista comes to the ring escorted by a large group of security as he tells the fans to boo him. Batista says people will have to get used to him being the champ and Cena losing at Wrestlemania. Batista says Cena has never beaten him and for people to get used to it. Batista continues to talk about beating Cena and calls him out, and Cena obliges as he heads to the ring. Cena says he’s already disappointed the people and let them down, when Batista won the title. The crowd starts a “You can’t wrestle” chant, I want to know who they’re talking about, and they both suck in the ring. Cena has so much orange on him looks like a giant tangerine in there. Well, at least he’s not wearing neon pink! Cena says he didn’t expect this from Batista and doesn’t know if he can stop it. Cena continues playing the moping dog as Batista calls him a loser. Cena says all the crap coming out of Batista’s mouth that’s the first thing that made sense, that he’s like all the people and sick of the garbage. Cena asks Batista who he thinks he is, and says he thinks he’s an Animal who takes people out but he didn’t take out Cena. Cena says if he was any good he wouldn’t be surrounded by security and Cena wouldn’t be standing there. Cena says Batista had him shook but he took the glasses off and doesn’t see an animal, he sees Dave Batista, who can be beat. Cena says Batista will be beat and Batista needs to know Sunday at Wrestlemania Cena is taking the title. Cena says if he won’t make a move he’s done talking and throws the mic down and starts to leave. Batista tells him not to turn around and makes a move towards Cena, who clobbers him. The security holds Cena and Batista nails him, but Cena gets the better of him and Batista bails. Cena takes out the security as Batista retreats backstage and the refs try to calm down Cena as we fade to black.

Match Recap:

1. John Morrison pinned Miz 6.75/10

2. Kofi Kingston pinned Vladimir Kozlov 3/10

3. Sheamus & Legacy beat HHH & Randy Orton 6.75/10

4. Shawn Michaels beat Kane 5/10

5. Michelle McCool beat Gail Kim DUD

Well, that was a boring episode of RAW. I understand they have to push the PPV, but at the expense of putting on a good show? We had two good matches, one not bad, one flop and a waste of time. Not a good way to start the week of Wrestlemania. What was the point of the diva match anyway? Gail & McCool were the only two in there, and it was less than a minute long? That was just stupid, as was Kofi and Kozlov. Kozlov dominates the match and two moves later gets pinned, goodbye Kozlov, we hardly knew ye. The Cena and Batista crap was just insane, way too much hype for that match, after almost every segment we had recaps of their feud and then the last fifteen minutes of them talking. The match is going to suck big time, as will Bret & Vince. No one needs to see a sixty something year old man take on a recovering stroke victim. It’s basically going to be a copy of the Shawn/Vince match, without the ladder move. As it stands the only matches I’m looking forward too are Edge/Jericho of course, MITB since there’s about four guys that could win (Christian, Swagger, Ziggler & Drew), The Tag Match (which will probably be moved to the dark match), and to a lesser extent Orton/Rhodes/DiBiase. Well, we have two shows remaining till Wrestlemania, maybe they’ll add the divas on Smackdown, but I don’t care anyway. If they do they’ll be lucky to get five minutes.


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