Chris' Blog

Monday Night RAW – March 15, 2010


After another horrible episode of Monday Night RAW, I’m actually looking forward to tonight. Of course it’s only for the guest host, as we finally get a good one, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Personally I think this should be the end of the guest host garbage, and leave Austin in charge of RAW, it’d be better than all these D-level celebrities they’ve been using. Along with the return of Stone Cold tonight we also get the announcement of the next member of the Hall of Fame and the final participant in the MITB match. That will bring us to ten men in the match, which I think is four too many, it just makes it too chaotic. I assume Kofi will get the final slot, unless they do something cool like have Kofi join with Orton to go after Legacy. With two weeks until Wrestlemania, let’s hope we get the finalized card tonight, so let’s get to it.

1. Stone Cold Steve Austin opens the show and the place erupts. First guest host I’ve been interested in seeing since Trish Stratus. This should’ve been the end of this stupid guest host crap, but of course it’s not. That’s what you call an ovation when you make an entrance, Triple H can learn from this man. Austin starts out by saying its good to be in the ring and back in the WWE and wants to open up a can of whoop-ass. Austin says walking down the aisle made him thirsty and he calls for some beers, this should bring out CM Punk, but then again he’d just get destroyed. Austin mentions Wrestlemania and says with it being two weeks away, he knows the importance of Wrestlemania mentioning his match with Bret Hart, and everyone brings their A-game. Austin says he respects Bret Hart and knows Bret, but also knows a lot about Vince McMahon and always enjoyed what Vince brought to the ring. Austin says tonight he’s here to sign the contract for the match and he knows Vince likes to screw people, but he’s there to make sure this match happens without any hitches. Austin promises Vince won’t pull the wool over anyone’s eyes, and then he gets bleeped, and will take care of business here tonight. This brings out the king of overrated, John Cena, as Cena tosses his hat to the crowd Austin looks like he’s ready to stun Cena but doesn’t, damn. Austin leaves the ring with his beer as the Big Show starts his slow walk to the ring. Austin waves at Show as he passes by and Show enters the ring for our opening match.

2. John Cena v Big Show. This is a rematch from Wrestlemania 20, from Madison Square Gardens. Cena tries to use his speed to avoid the punches of Show, but gets caught and Show goes for a powerbomb and drops Cena backwards as we go to commercial. We come back and Show has a rear chinlock on Cena, who fights out and goes for the STF but Show kicks him off sending him to the floor. Show goes to pull Cena up, but Cena fights back with a hot shot and goes for a slam but Show falls back on him for a near fall. Show sends Cena hard to the corner, and Cena crumples to the mat. Show climbs the ropes and goes for the Vader Bomb but Cena rolls out of the way. Cena pulls himself up in the corner as Show charges and Cena gets the boots up, and a second charge and Cena moves causing Show to hit the buckle. Cena climbs the ropes and drops the leg across the back of the head and gives the sign for the fistdrop, but suddenly we see the Animal, Batista, coming down the ramp. Cena distracted turns into a huge chokeslam from Show who gets a near fall, Batista looks pissed about Cena kicking out. Show readies for the big right hand but Cena ducks and goes for the Attitude Adjuster but Dave distracts Cena. Show slides off Cena’s back and hits the right hand for the win. 5/10 not a bad match, as good as can be expected considering the participants. Batista slides in the ring and gets in Cena’s face but does not touch Cena at all.

3. Evan Bourne v Sheamus. Well, I don’t expect Bourne to stand a chance in this match, but I do expect Triple H to get involved in the match. Sheamus has the mic and starts to talk, but instead turns and nails Bourne with the mic then hits the pump kick. Sheamus delivers the Celtic Cross on Bourne sending him across the ring. No Rating as we didn’t get a match, not even the opening bell. Sheamus then picks up the mic and says as a youngster he was always fascinated with the WWE and Superstars but one man stood out to him, Triple H. Sheamus says Triple H beat everyone from Austin, Rock, Cena, Michaels, and Undertaker and over the years has won countless titles. Way to kiss Triple H’s ass Sheamus, good way to keep a job. Sheamus claims he has done more in a year than Triple H has done in his entire career, and says he should be defending the title at Mania but Triple H ruined it. Sheamus says he wanted a match with Triple H since coming to Raw, and at Mania he has his chance and after Mania the King of Kings will never be the same again. Sheamus promises in two weeks he will take Triple H’s throne. We go backstage to Stone Cole who’s joined by Shawn Michaels who says he’s not going to waste Austin’s time but wants to know if he can beat Undertaker. Austin says he can but he won’t win, and Shawn says he knew he’d get the truth from Austin but after Wrestlemania 14 everyone thought his career was over and he proved them wrong and will do it again this year. Shawn says tonight he has a match with Chris Jericho and will make sure he knows, but gets cut off as Jericho comes in. Jericho thanks Steve for the match as it gives him one more chance to embarrass Shawn one last time, Shawn says he won’t just beat him tonight but he’ll destroy him. Shawn leaves and Jericho says he’s going crazy and asks Austin if they should have the match, maybe they should leave and have a couple beers. They both laugh but Austin stops and tells Jericho to get out of him office and go compete.

4. Kelly v Maryse. They start with a pose down and Kelly is getting the better so Maryse attacks her and we have a brawl to start. Kelly kicks Maryse who grabs her foot, so she flips over and hits a dropkick. Kelly quickly jumps on Maryse and starts to pound her then hits the fameasser for a near fall. Kelly gets too close to Maryse and gets tossed into the buckle. Maryse quickly hits the French Kiss for the win. 5/10 way too short but passable for what we go. After the match Maryse kicks Kelly out of the ring and goes after her. Maryse tosses Kelly into the barricade and then throws her back in the ring, but Gail Kim and Eve quickly make the save for Kelly. Gail nails a neckbreaker on Kelly, which brings out horseface and Layla. So here’s our match for Wrestlemania, a six diva tag, oh yippee. Gail and Eve get destroyed by McCool and Leyla, who stand tall in the middle of the ring. Great now she’s going to stink up both shows, this is going to suck badly. We see Vickie Guerrero at the top of the ramp applauding Horseface and Layla, as all four pose at the top of the ramp.

5. Shawn Michaels v Chris Jericho. We come back from commercial as the match starts and Shawn quickly opens up on Jericho and nails a back elbow. Shawn chops the chest of Jericho in the corner and nails a snapmare then stomps the face of Jericho. Shawn sends Jericho to the corner and charges in, but Jericho moves and Shawn hits the buckle. Jericho sends him in but Shawn comes back with a Thesz press and goes to back hammering Jericho. Shawn charges at Chris, but gets backdropped to the floor and Jericho follows. Jericho rams Shawn into the ring apron then sends him back in. Jericho nails a hotshot on the bottom rope as Jericho now in control and bad mouths the Showstopper. Jericho on the offense continues to stomp Shawn as the fans start a “You suck” chant at the champion. Jericho slapping Shawn and yelling “you’re nothing” as he applies a rear chinlock with the knee in the back, but Shawn fights his way out and chops Jericho on the ropes. Jericho shoots him in, but Shawn comes back with the flying forearm followed by the inverted atomic drop. He goes for a backdrop but Jericho goes for the Walls, reversed to a small package for a near fall. Jericho quickly comes back with a bulldog and goes for the Lionsault but Shawn gets the knees up. Shawn climbs the ropes and drives the elbow into the heart of Jericho and readies for Sweet Chin Music. Shawn goes for the kick but Jericho wisely bails out of the ring and heads up the ramp. Jericho takes the countout loss 6.75/10 was not nearly as good as any of their previous matches, and the lame ending killed the match. Suddenly Edge comes down the ramp and lays a beating on Jericho who can’t get away from Edge. Edge tosses Jericho back to the ring, as Shawn as disappeared, and hits the spear on Y2J. Edge grabs the mic and tells Jericho, “Spear” and leaves the ring. We go backstage to Randy Orton as they announce the match for Wrestlemania will be a triple threat between Randy, Cody and Ted. Randy says he hates Triple H but he respects him and takes him seriously which is more than he can say about Ted and Cody. Orton says a triple threat means no friends or alliances and every man for themselves and at Wrestlemania Ted and Cody will find out they are nothing without him.

6. Triple H v Randy Orton. This should be better than their match at Wrestlemania last year. They start out with a lockup and Randy gets a knee in then hammers the Game. The ref pulls Randy back and this allows HHH to get a few shots in and rams Orton in the buckle, but he gets shot in the corner, however HHH comes back out with a clothesline. HHH nails a vertical Suplex and follows with the kneedrop which draws a two. Triple H pulls him up, but Orton able to fight off and sends HHH to the ropes but misses the dropkick. Triple H goes to pick up Orton; however Orton slings HHH over the top by his arm. Triple starts to come in and Randy goes for the DDT but Triple H backdrops him out and follows. Triple H tries to send Orton to the stairs and Orton reverses sending the Game to the stairs. Orton quickly snaps off the DDT on the floor as we go to commercial. We come back and Orton has a rear chinlock on Triple H who tries to fight out and Randy quickly changes to a backbreaker. Orton readies for the RKO and Triple H able to push Orton off and nail a big clothesline as both men are down. Both men slow to get up and a slugfest ensues with Triple H coming out the winner on that, but Orton gets a kick in and comes off the ropes. Triple H catches Orton in the high knee and follows with the face breaker, but gets caught coming off the ropes as Orton nails a powerslam for a near fall. Orton tries to send Triple H to the corner but it’s reversed, however Orton comes out with a back elbow and charges at HHH who nails a spinebuster for a near fall. Triple H goes for the Pedigree and Orton able to backdrop out of the move and then both men hit a clothesline knocking them both down. Orton rolls to the apron and Triple H tries to grab him but Orton nails a hot shot. Triple H catches Orton coming in and kicks him then nails a quick Pedigree, but as he goes for the cover Legacy rush the ring drawing the DQ. 7/10 was actually a good match, but another crappy finish ruined it for me. After the match Legacy continues to beat down their former leader, and Triple H finally gets back in the ring to make the save. Suddenly Triple H turns around into a pumpkick from Sheamus, who snuck into the ring. Legacy bail out and drag Orton out to continue beating down Randy, while Sheamus stands over the fallen HHH. We now get the announcement of our fifth inductee of this year’s Hall of Fame, joining Ted DiBiase, Mad Dog Vachon, Antonio Inoki, Wendi Richter it’s Gorgeous George Wagner! Wow, that’s a surprising induction. I’m more looking forward to the Hall of Fame then the PPV itself to be honest. George is being inducted by his 96 year old first wife, that’s amazing. We get the recap of the card for Wrestlemania; this is where I miss Mene Gene doing the old Wrestlemania reports.

7. Batista v Kofi Kingston. So 13 days to Wrestlemania and no match so far for Kingston, whose cornflakes did he piss in, seriously? From a big feud with Orton to disappearing off the radar, you’d almost think Michael Hayes was booking the shows. Kofi gets shoved in the corner and Batista nails a series of shoulders then sends Kofi to the opposite corner. Batista picks up Kofi and rams him in the buckle then opens up on Kingston. Batista slowly walks to the corner and stomps Kingston the picks him up for a slam, but Kingston slides down and fires the kicks. Batista misses a clothesline and Kingston quickly hits the diving clothesline and goes for the Boom Drop. Batista slides out and Kofi tries to follow but the Animal moves and tosses Kingston to the barricade and tosses him back in. Batista charges the corner for a spear and Kingston moves to the apron and hits a kick. Kingston goes for a springboard move and Batista hits a huge clothesline. Batista nails a spinebuster followed by the Batista Bomb for the win. 1/10 basically a squash match, but at least Batista got busted open! Next week’s host is Pete Rose, boring, and the main event is Randy Orton & Triple H versus Legacy and Sheamus.

8. Bret Hart and Vince McMahon contract signing presided over by Steve Austin. Bret Hart is introduced first and comes out with his cast on and limping, I still call shenanigans on this. I think it’s all a ruse and he’s going to reveal this was his Screwjob on Vince either tonight after Vince signs or just as the match starts at Wrestlemania. Bret slowly pulls himself into the ring and makes himself comfortable so he can watch Vince do his classic pickle in the ass walk, but instead he mocks Bret Hart and looks more like Eugene. Vince gets in the face of Bret as we hear the glass break and out comes the Texas Rattlesnake. Austin tells Vince to sit down, and Vince obliges, and then Austin says since he has both guys in the ring he has business to take care of. Austin says last year he went to the Hall of Fame and it was the proudest moment of his life and this year Stu Hart was supposed to go in. Vince starts to rise up and Austin tells him to sit down or he’ll knock him down. Austin continues by saying that Vince think Stu is not going into the Hall of Fame, Austin then puts over the Hart Family and then announces that Stu is going in the Hall of Fame and asks if Vince has a problem with that. Vince says he doesn’t and tells Bret if Stu gets inducted the Hart Family will be at the Hall of Fame and the Hart Family is a bunch of derelicts. Vince says let’s get down to business and get the contract signed so he can give Bret the beating he deserves at Wrestlemania and says it is an ironclad contract and Bret must show up if he signs. Bret says he doesn’t care if both legs are broken he can and will beat Vince but he has one problem, he doesn’t want a match he wants a fight. Bret says it will be a massacre and wants it to be a no holds barred match, and Vince says “Hell yeah”. Vince says Bret has done it again, as Bret has screwed Bret again. Both Bret and Austin have a huge grin, which gives away the ruse. Bret signs the contract first and hands it to Vince who hesitates first and then angrily signs it. Austin picks up the contract and says its official at Wrestlemania Bret Hart will face Vince McMahon in a no holds barred match. Austin tells Vince he’s looking forward to Vince getting his ass kicked. Austin leaves and Vince turns around to look at him, and Austin gets to the top of the ramp and says there is one thing he forgot to tell Vince. Austin says he’ll let Vince tell him himself, and Vince turns around and Bret has his cast sitting on the table. Vince looks at the cast and Bret tosses the crutch and cast and says he doesn’t need this, what he needed was Vince to think he was hurt. Bret says he’s 100% and says if Vince tries to back out he’ll sue him for everything he’s worth and says for 13 years Vince has said Bret screwed Bret, now tonight Vince screwed Vince. Bret turns to toss the cast to the crowd and instead hammers Vince in the head with it sending Vince over the table. Bret walks out of the ring proudly as he has the match with Vince he wants; this is going to be a slaughter at Wrestlemania.

Match Recap:

1. Big Show pinned John Cena 5/10

2. Evan Bourne and Sheamus went to a no contest No Rating

3. Maryse pinned Kelly 5/10

4. Shawn Michaels beat Chris Jericho by countout 6.75/10

5. Randy Orton beat Triple H by DQ 7/10

6. Batista crushed Kofi Kingston 1/10

Surprisingly this was actually a good episode of RAW with a couple of good matches and not a lot of crappy backstage stuff. I hate to say it but this week goes to RAW, which puts the score at 1-1 so far for the Monday Wars!


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