Chris' Blog


TNA Impact – March 15, 2010

 

TNA is coming off a surprisingly good episode last week, headlined by the in ring returns of Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair. The shocking part is the rating was not as good as it should’ve been, I really expected a 1.25 at least and can’t believe they did as bad as reported. Then again I really don’t think the ratings mean anything anymore, not like they used to in the 90s. People don’t seem to realize that most people will either tape, DVR or download the shows to watch now, which we didn’t have as much of in the 90’s. I watched both shows last week, but it wouldn’t count toward the ratings as I downloaded both and watched 24. I don’t get the channel for either wrestling show, and even if I did I wouldn’t miss 24 for either show. How many people did the same last week? That’s why I really don’t think the ratings are an accurate gauge of how good the show was. As I said before I enjoyed TNA a lot more then the snorefest that was RAW, however I’ll be honest and say I’m looking forward to RAW a lot more this week, only for Stone Cold’s return. The matches, what little there is, and the storylines on RAW are subpar at best and they’re just not entertaining. TNA on the other hand at least has a couple good matches each week, even if some of the storylines are a little stupid. Personally I can give both shows good advice to fix them, for TNA we need less Bischoff, he doesn’t need to be in every segment. As for WWE, end the guest host crap, it’s a waste of time and no one really cares at all. Well, with that said, and this being the go home episode before the PPV, let’s see what TNA can deliver in their first taped Monday show.

We open the show with the recap from last week’s show, including the shocking return and heel turn of Sting. Didn’t WCW try and turn Sting heel and fail miserably? We also see the amazing debut and then the stupid beatdown of RVD, a huge screw up from TNA. His win over Sting was forgotten after a ten minute long beatdown from Sting. We also see Brooke and her amazing acting ability as she begs Hulk no to wrestle, and then the return again of Jeff Hardy. Mike Tenay welcomes us to TNA as we see the Hummer pull in, as they channel WCW again, and out comes the clowns, I mean Hulk, Abyss, RVD & Jeff Hardy. Now we get the opening video, of which I really don’t like the song, but I’ll say it again always glad to see Daffney!

1. Ric Flair & AJ Styles come down the aisle for tonight’s opening interview. AJ calls Abyss a scary looking but stupid monster and mocks the Hall of Fame ring. AJ asks Abyss if he things some magic ring will help him, and mentions the matches they’ve had in Tennessee and the Impact Zone and says the result is always the same, AJ up and Abyss down. AJ says he doesn’t believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, or magic rings but he does believe he is the best wrestler in the world. AJ continues by calling himself a gift from God, and this Sunday Abyss will find out firsthand, and then passes the mic to Ric Flair. Flair says he wishes he could be under control but he’s not able to and begins to strip. God help us all; please keep your clothes on old man. Flair punches the wound, making it bleed and run down his face. Flair says he hates Jeff Hardy and calls him nothing. Flair tells Jeff Hardy if he wants to play he can expect to bleed, which of course brings out Jeff Hardy. Jeff Hardy and RVD make a perfect tag team, they could call them Kronik 2010, or maybe the team name could be Smokey and the Bud! AJ asks if Jeff wants the spotlight and says the spotlight doesn’t get bigger then AJ and challenges Jeff to a match tonight. Jeff says it will be a breeze, and Flair tells him he better get high before the match, to which Jeff says he’ll be flying high on his Creatures of the Night. Wait…isn’t that what they used to call Undertaker’s fans? We go backstage to Eric Bischoff and Mick Foley, as Eric yells at Mick for helping Jeff Jarrett and then tells him he will change Foley tonight in the ring. Eric says they will shave Foley’s head and beard tonight in the center of the ring, how much you want to bet Eric gets his head shaved instead, as they continue to copy WWE and WCW stories. After that we see the Nasty Boys and Jimmy Hart attacking Jesse Neal in catering, boring.

2. The Nasty Boys & Jimmy Hart v Team 3D & Jesse Neal. Before the match Knobbs has the mic and says the six man tag is now a handicap. Great now Jimmy Hart is going to wrestle, this is going to suck big time. Bubba has the mic and says this won’t be a handicap match and they have a partner and bring out Spike Dudley. Well, at least it wasn’t the return of Mr. Fuji or George Steele as the partner. Sags & D-Von start out and they lockup, as Sags gets a knee in and hammers D-Von then sends him in, but misses the clothesline. D-Von nails a flying shoulderblock and tags in Spike, who nails a double sledge on Sags. Sags over powers Spike and sends him in the corner but misses the charge and eats a headbutt. Spike distracted by Hart and gets nailed from behind and then gets caught in the pitstop, that’s one of the worst moves ever. Sags slam Spike and tags in Knobs, who’s lost a B in his name, who rams Spike’s head in the buckle and sends him to Sags boot. Hart tagged in and Jimmy kicks and stomps Spike then removes his belt and goes to whip him, but Spike rolls away and tags in Bubba who takes out all three men. Bubba stacks up the Nasty Boys and hits both then sends Sags to the floor where Spike catches him. Knobbs rolls out and Hart passes him the helmet. Jimmy distracts the ref and Knobs nails Bubba in the head with the helmet and Jimmy scores the pin. 4/10 was better than expected but it still sucked badly. After the match the Nasty Boys continue to pound the Dudley Boys down and bring in the table. Jesse Neal suddenly rushes down the apron to make the save and tosses Hart out of the ring, and Sags gets a Super 3D through the table. Damn, this means the feud is going to keep on dragging along, as we go to Christy with Angelina Love! Wow, that’s two hot women right there, as Angelina says she’s mad and will do something about it and challenges the Beautiful People to meet her in the ring. Angelina says they are all trying to be here, but she’s an original and it’s time to cleanse TNA one beautiful person at a time. From there we go to Waltman and Hall with Jeremy Borash as he goes over the match this Sunday. Waltman says he’s been fired from better places then this and Hall says Nash and Young will get what they deserve and next Monday they’ll be the big money players in TNA. Nash and Young come in and make fun of Waltman losing last week, and then challenges Hall to meet him in the ring for 25000$. Hall says he’ll see him out there and Nash says Hall could probably use the money.

3. Mr. Anderson & Desmond Wolfe v Kurt Angle & D’Angelo Dinero. This could be a good match, but probably won’t get more than ten minutes. Angle & Wolfe start out with a lockup; Angle goes to a quick armbar. They do a quick series of reverses and Anderson doesn’t want the tag as Angle backdrops Wolfe. Angle gets a hammerlock, but Wolfe makes the ropes and Anderson gets a cheapshot in. Anderson now comes in and opens up on Angle and pounds on Kurt before tagging Desmond back in. Desmond with a key lock to control the Olympic Gold Medalist, who fights his way out and sends Wolfe to the corner. Wolfe gets a boot up and charges at Angle, but Angle hits a belly to belly Suplex and makes the tag. Dinero quickly takes down Wolfe with a series of elbows followed by a backdrop, as the crowd erupts. Dinero with a series of elbows and Anderson comes in and gets taken down with a low uppercut, as Pope nails an STO on Wolfe. Angle catches Anderson with an Olympic Slam and goes for one on Wolfe who counters to the hammerlock drop. Wolfe quickly turns his attention to the Pope and goes for a figure four but gets rolled up for the win. 6.75/10 was a good match, but wasn’t even five minutes long. With four stars like this they could’ve gone a good twenty minutes. After the match Wolfe nails Pope and starts working over the injured ankle of Pope and sends him over the top. Wolfe follows and they fight up the ramp as Anderson goes after Angle and hits the Mic Check while Pope and Wolfe fight their way backstage. Anderson grabs the medal and drives it in the head of Angle and calls for his mic, then gets in the face of a bloody Angle. Anderson tells Kurt this is a small example of what will happen this Sunday at the PPV and this beating was brought to him by Mr. Anderson…Anderson. Ken then drives the mic repeatedly into the head of Angle, and they way he’s mounted over Angle looks a little gay. We go backstage to Hogan with RVD and Hardy, Hulk says Abyss will be the special enforcer tonight and has something special for RVD tonight and they leave. In comes Eric Bischoff who asks if they are on the same page, and Hulk says it’s all good and he has surprises. Eric says he loves surprises but he should’ve been in on the debuts of Hardy and RVD. Hulk apologizes and says Eric’s had his hands full with Jarrett and Foley. Hulk says it’s all taken care of and Eric says it’s all good and a great call.

4. Angelina Love v Daffney. Angelina called out the Beautiful People and all three come out, and Velvet has the mic. Velvet asks if Angelina feels tough facing one of them, and introduces their newest member for one night only, Daffney! Daffney comes out from under the ring and attacks Love from behind. Daffney pulls the head back of Love and hits her in the head. Daffney continues to pummel Love and slides out of the ring, and finds a toolbox. Daffney starts pulling out tools and settles on a hammer as she comes back in. The ref pulls the hammer away and Daffney turns around and gets her legs pulled out, but the Beautiful People attack her from behind. 2/10 hate to give such a low rating to two of my favorites, but the match was so short and almost useless. After the match, wait didn’t I say this already in the last two matches, they quadruple team Love, including Daffney swinging Love’s head into the side of the ramp. They drag her in the ring, but Tara comes through the crowd and makes the save for Angelina. Tara hits the Widow’s Peak on Madison Rayne and then points at Daffney. I hope Daffney wins the title Sunday, she deserves it, just hope they give the match enough time.

5. Hulk Hogan limps his way to ring, as it’s his time to talk now. Hulk says game time is over and he’s been around the block but what happened last week was more than a trainwreck. Hulk says he spent the whole week feeling like he got run over by a train but the one image he can’t erase is Abyss asking “Why Sting, Why?”. Hulk calls Sting to come to the ring and wants to know why someone who helped to build the company would stab TNA in the back. Hulk asks if maybe the spotlight wasn’t on him big enough, as he claims he can smell Sting. We see Sting walking in the rafters of the building, as Hulk calls him out and says Sting is scared to face him. Sting slowly comes down from the rafters and heads to the ring, only to be attacked from behind by RVD. RVD quickly beats down Sting as Hulk does the RVD pose in the ring, and Sting tries to escape through the crowd but RVD won’t let him. RVD is relentless on Sting, who tries to grab the bat but Van Dam kicks it away from him and tosses it to Hulk, then sends Sting in the ring to Hulk. Hulk winds up and Bischoff runs to the ring and tells Hulk not to do it and gets between them. Eric tells Hulk he’s a leader in this company not a wrestler and has security come out to get Sting out of the ring. Where did RVD disappear to anyway? Eric says Hulk didn’t come here to wrestle and that’s not what this is about and that Hulk made a promise to Brooke last week, as we see Brooke at ringside. Eric tells Hulk to be done with it and leaves the ring, as Hulk stands in the ring with a look of confusion. Hulk leaves the ring and goes over to Brooke and hugs her, as we see Jarrett backstage as he runs into Hernandez. Hernandez says he has Jeff’s back tonight and asks if he wants to get revenge tonight. Jeff says that sounds good and they start to walk off, however Eric was behind them and stops them. Eric asks Jeff if he thinks he can still book matches, and then tells Hernandez he gets to go out by himself and face Beer Money. Jeff says enough of this and not to take his frustrations out on Hernandez. Eric tells Jeff he can get in the ring tonight and ref the match tonight, just like when he broke into the business. Eric tells Jeff if he screws up he’s done and they only way he’ll get back in the ring is setting up or tearing down the ring.

6. Scott Hall v Kevin Nash. Look, its 1997 again as we have the Outsiders facing off in TNA while in WWE we have Bret Hart and Vince McMahon. What next a Spice Girl reunion? Scott Hall is already in the ring with a Wolf Pac shirt on, as Nash comes to the ring. This is for 25 thousand dollars if Hall can last the full five minutes. Hall charges at Nash, who drives a knee in and quickly hammers his former tag partner. Hall starts to fire back on the big man, and starts to work the arm of Nash, and then slaps the back of his head. Nash responds to that with a short arm clothesline. Nash sets Hall in the corner and delivers the series of knees to the midsection, followed by a trio of back elbows. Tazz calls them vintage elbows, as he says he’s going to try and get the word vintage in each week, as expected we see Waltman slide in the ring behind Nash and clips Nash’s knee. 1/10 what more can we expect out of the geriatric committee. Sean pulls out cuffs and ties Nash to the ropes and they double team Kevin, but Young comes out to make the save. EY goes after both, but the numbers get the better of Young, and Waltman hits the X-Factor on Young. Jeremy Borash is standing by with Beer Money Inc who faces Hernandez, Roode calls Borash Ryan Seacrest and says all they want is an opportunity but they’ve been pushed to the back. Roode asks if that is any way to treat the best tag team in the business, Storm says Bischoff gave them an opportunity to whip someone’s ass. Storm says they get another opportunity and they will dish it out to Hernandez, and they’re sick of being nice guys and catering to the fans. Storm tells Hernandez “Sorry about yo damn luck.”

7. Hernandez v Beer Money Inc. Jeff Jarrett is the special referee for this handicap match, have I said how much I hate handicap matches? BMI quickly jump Hernandez as he enters the ring, and they double team one half of the tag champions. We see Matt Morgan coming down the ramp heading to the ring, but then he stops and turns around. BMI continue to double team Hernandez as Matt Morgan heads to the announce booth and starts doing commentary as his partner is getting taken apart. Morgan says Hernandez is getting what he deserves for getting involved in someone else’s business, gee who thinks Morgan is going to turn on Hernandez on Sunday? Even Stevie Wonder can see the heel turn coming, as Hernandez finally able to take down both members of BMI with a clothesline, than the shoulderblock sends Storm across the ring. Hernandez catches Roode coming off the top rope, but Storm nails him and they go for a double Suplex but Hernandez counters. Hernandez picks up Roode for the Border Toss, but turns into a superkick from Storm then nailed with the DWI. Jeff Jarrett reluctantly makes the tree count. 4/10 it was what it was. Beer Money insists that Jarrett raise their hands in victory and Jeff grudgingly does so. DMI quickly go back after Hernandez and Jeff tries to pull them off, and they toss Jeff across the ring. Jeff rips off the ref shirt and goes after Storm and Roode now, then rams their heads together allowing Hernandez to hit the slingshot double clothesline on BMI. BMI quickly bail out of the ring and head up the ramp, as we see Eric Bischoff coming to the ring with clippers.

8. Eric Bischoff is in the ring, with a barber chair, and says Jeff Jarrett’s ass is his next week. I hope that doesn’t mean Jarrett’s going to have the pickle in the ass walk after that happens! Eric says it’s time to clean things up around here and tells Mick they’ve been trying to make something out of him but it’s impossible and tells Foley to get to the ring and get in the chair. Foley slowly makes his way to the ring and sits in the chair, as Eric says he hates to have to do it. Eric raises his hand with the clippers, but Foley stops him and reveals Mr. Socko and rams it down the throat of Bischoff. Foley with the Mandible Claw puts Bischoff in the chair and grabs the clippers. Foley then proceeds to shave the head of Eric Bischoff, just like I thought would happen, what is Eric’s obsession with being shaved. It happened in WCW, in WWE and now in TNA, it’s gotten old now. Foley slaps Eric back to life and shows him his work in the mirror as he humiliated Bischoff. We go backstage to Christy with Shannon Moore, who faces Doug Williams at the PPV. Shannon says Sunday the X Division will be spotlighted and he’s not worried about the match and Sunday he will represent the tattooed, the brood and the screwed. Shannon says he made a promise to his freaks to become the new X champion and welcomes Doug to Glam Rock.

9. Motor City Machine Guns in the ring have a mic and say this Sunday will be a night to remember as it’s the return of Ultimate X and the winners of that match become number one contenders to tag titles. Sabin says the PPV will be remembered as the rise of the Machine Guns, beginning with Generation Me. Sabin asks who they think they are trying to compete with the MCMG and asks what have they done to deserve a spot in this match and asks who have they beaten. This brings out Generation Me, who responds that they’ve beaten the MCMG in their debut match. Shelly says they remember that, but there is such a thing as luck and says they’re good but not great. Shelly says they are the X-Box to their Atari, and says Generation Me is the Station Wagon to their Ferraris. Shelly mentions their girlfriends and a brawl breaks out, suddenly out comes Kendrick to help the Guns, which brings out Red to even the odds. Daniels quickly charges the ring and takes down Red, while MCMG and Generation Me brawl on the floor. This brings out Kaz with a ladder, which he tosses in the head of Daniels, as all eight men are brawling all over the place. Red climbs to the top of the ladder and dives over the top rope to the floor onto MCMG, Daniels, and Kendrick. That was freaking amazing looking! JB is with Abyss, who tells Ric he hopes he gets involved in the main event so he can show him what happens when he comes face to face with the monster.

10. Jeff Hardy v AJ Styles. Abyss is the special enforcer for this match. AJ quickly starts on Jeff with a series of kicks and chops, and then sends Hardy to the corner but Jeff gets his boots up. Hardy comes back with a big clothesline and then slams Styles down before climbing the ropes. Hardy drops a big legdrop on Styles and then goes to a rear chinlock. AJ forces Jeff to the corner and as the ref separates them Styles gets a cheap shot in and goes back to the chops. Jeff reverses and hammers Styles who sends him to the corner. Jeff goes up and AJ tosses him over the top, right where Flair is. Flair removes his coat as Abyss comes around the ring, Flair tosses his jacket at him and Abyss advances as Flair backs off. Hardy slowly pulls himself up as Brooke cheers him on, AJ stomps on Hardy as he comes in the ring. Hardy starts to fight back but Styles comes back with a perfect dropkick for a near fall. They’re sort of in a corner here, can’t job out the champion, but can’t job out the newcomer, which means this will probably be a screwy ending. Styles begin to work over the leg of Hardy, who kicks Styles off sending him to the ramp. Hardy goes to grab Styles, who drops Hardy throat first on the top rope. AJ quickly back to a rear chinlock with the knee in the back, as the crowd chants Hardy. Hardy elbows his way out, but Styles sends him to the ropes, but Hardy reverses and nails a neckbreaker and both men are down. Styles miss a clothesline and Hardy comes back with a pair of forearms followed by a front layout Suplex sending Styles to the corner. Hardy hits the floating dropkick for a near fall, as Hardy continues the offense but Styles rakes the eyes. Hardy sends Styles to the corner, but Styles catches Hardy with a back elbow and then a brainbuster on Hardy for a near fall. Hardy fights out of the corner and hits the Whisper in the Wind on the champ and gets another near fall, as AJ looks dazed. Hardy readies for the Twist of Fate, but AJ counters into the Pele kick. Hardy pulls himself up in the corner as Styles charges in but Hardy backdrops him to the apron. AJ springboards back in and nail the ref at the same time; AJ quickly rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair. Abyss advances on Styles and tells Styles no chairs, as AJ drops the chair and goes back in. Styles goes for the springboard 450, but Hardy moves and nails the Twist of Fate. Hardy climbs the ropes and hits the Swanton Bomb as Abyss slides in and counts three! 7/10 actually a very good match, could’ve used more time though. Flair comes in after the match and nails Hardy with the chair, then nails Abyss with the chair. Flair goes after Abyss with the chair and nails him in the back, but Abyss no sells the shots. Abyss spins around and channels his inner Lex Luger as he poses in front of Flair. Abyss picks up Flair and chokeslams Flair right through the ramp, which looked amazing! Abyss walks over the corpse of Flair as AJ clutches his title in the ring and looks terrified.

Match Recap:

1. Nasty Boys & Jimmy Hart beat Team 3D & Spike 4/10

2. D’Angelo Dinero & Kurt Angle beat Desmond Wolfe & Ken Anderson 6.75/10

3. Angelina Love beat Daffney by DQ 2/10

4. Kevin Nash beat Scott Hall by DQ 1/10

5. Beer Money beat Hernandez 4/10

6. Jeff Hardy pinned AJ Styles 7/10

Well, it wasn’t a bad show, but it wasn’t great either. Other then the main event the matches felt rushed as usual. They need to lay off all the extra antics and focus on the matches. The main event and the tag match with Angle could’ve been better if given more time. If they had given them twenty minutes each, plus make an eight man tag match with the X-Division guys giving them about twenty minutes as well this would’ve been an awesome show, but instead it was just there. Hopefully the PPV is really good Sunday, I’m looking forward to it more so then Wrestlemania. I’m really happy to see Daffney get a title shot on a PPV; I really hope they give them plenty of time. Well, tomorrow I’ll watch RAW and see what WWE had to offer against a taped episode of TNA.

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