Chris' Blog

Friday Night Smackdown – March 12, 2010


Well, it’s been a pretty lackluster week of WWE programming so far. It’s really making me miss ECW, at least that could be counted on for a good match or two. With only 18 days till Wrestlemania, the WWE really needs to step it up and make the show look exciting. Right now Wrestlemania is a one match show for me, Edge versus Jericho, and maybe the MITB match. Everything else just does not impress me, Taker and Shawn won’t live up to the lofty expectations of the IWC and Shawn won’t stay out forever. I bet if he loses he’s back by Survivor Series or whatever they’re calling the November PPV now. Anyways, let’s get Smackdown finished and hope for a better set of show next week, as it will be kicked off with Stone Cold on RAW!

1. Rey Mysterio comes out for opening interview, as the announcers quickly start kissing his ass. Rey stops at the top of the ramp and calls out his family, and his son is taller than he is. Rey gets a cheap pop mentioning they’re in Seattle and introduces his family. Domenic sure looks different then the last time we saw him, during the Eddie/Rey feud a few years ago. Rey says he knows there are lots of parents in the building; well of course someone had to drag the little bastards to the show and buy your shit Rey! Rey says it’s his daughter’s birthday and gets the crowd to chant Happy Birthday. Rey says he wants to make this a night she’ll remember and has the crowd join him singing happy birthday, this is so lame. Thankfully the Straight Edge society puts an end to this garbage; CM Punk is truly a savior, saving us from this trash. Serena is freshly shaven, well on her head at least, not so sure about the rest of her! Rey stands in front of his family, who towers over him, and Punk mockingly sings to Rey’s daughter. Rey’s daughter is a better actress then Brooke Hogan, but then Brooke doesn’t get jobs based on the size of her talent, more for the size of her rack. Punk challenges Rey to a match at Wrestlemania and wants a match tonight as well. Punk says not later in the show, but right now. Rey tells Punk this isn’t the time and Punk says as a birthday present for her, he’ll let her shut her eyes while he beats her daddy. Punk calls out Domenic and says he’s going to hear his father squeal like a pig, causing Rey to toss his microphone. Punk then turns his attention on Rey’s wife, Angie, and says Rey and Angie shared the best of times but after he does what he does it will be the worst of times. Punk advances on Rey and asks if he’s afraid he’ll get hurt and calls Rey a coward. Punk asks Rey what is it going to take as he gets in Rey’s face and asks where the ultimate underdog is. Punk tells him he has no courage and never had any, and then drops to Rey’s level by going to his knees. Punk screams at Rey and them slaps him, Rey tells his family to leave the ring and then he leaves too. Punk says there’s your superhero, and watches him take his walk of shame. Punk continues to mock Rey by singing to Rey’s daughter, no one plays a creepy guy quite the way Punk can do it.

2. Miz v R-Truth. Miz has the microphone and says Morrison and Truth think they can embarrass the tag champs and win the tag titles at Wrestlemania, really. Miz says tonight Show will beat Morrison and right now he’s going to beat Truth, and then at Wrestlemania combined they will beat them, because they are ShowMiz and they’re awesome! Both guys come out with their NXT protégés. Miz with a quick go behind sends Truth to the corner and opens up on him, the ref pulls Miz back. Miz sends Truth to the corner and Truth jumps over and Miz hits the buckle. Truth with the leaping side kick then clotheslines the Miz over the top rope. Truth dives over the top rope landing on the Miz as we go to commercial. We come back and Miz with a side headlock, but Truth backdrops Miz to break the hold. Miz quickly back on Truth and hammers him, but misses a punch and Truth fires back. Truth hits a nice armdrag and then a pair of clotheslines takes Miz down. Miz catches Truth with his head down, but then runs into a big boot and Truth gets a near fall. Truth goes for a slam and Miz slides behind and nails a nice double shot neckbreaker for a near fall of his own. Miz stalks Truth, who’s slow to rise up, and goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Truth counters and rolls him up. Truth gets a big kick, but misses the axe kick and Miz rolls him up. Miz has his feet on the ropes, but Daniel Bryan knocks his feet off the ropes. Miz distracted turns around into the Lie Detector and Truth scores the pin. 7/10 a pretty good match, both guys are impressive. Actually kind of looking forward to the tag match at Wrestlemania, of course it’ll probably be made the dark match like last year. As long as we don’t get a Kid Rock concert at Wrestlemania. After a bunch of ads we see Drew walking the halls, ever notice we see a lot of that on wrestling, and never see that on other shows. That and why is there always a camera following these guys, don’t they get a minutes peace, do the camera follow them to the crapper too? Anyways Teddy comes up to Drew and says he has lost both his MITB matches only for Vince to erase them, and now he gets a third chance. Teddy asks if he’s proud, and Drew says he’s proud he’s undefeated and proud he will be in the MITB. Teddy says Drew must be proud Vince picked his opponent, and Drew points out that is his boss. Teddy says he is the boss and he can’t change the match but he can add to it, as he makes it a MITB qualifier and an IC title match, and then wishes him luck.

3. Drew McIntyre v Aaron Bolo. The kid gets a big intro as he’s from Seattle and a National Wrestling Champion. Drew just glares at the kid and quickly starts to hammer Aaron in the corner. Drew hits a short arm clothesline and then the Future Shock for the win. DUD was not even a match, just a quick squash. So Drew completes the field for the MITB match, joining Kane, Christian, Swagger, MVP, Shelton, Ziggler, Hardy, and Bourne. Wait that makes nine guys in the MITB this year, is that going to stay that way?

4. Big Show v John Morrison. John Morrison may injure his back tonight trying to carry the Big Slow tonight; at least at Wrestlemania we have three talents to carry the walking slug of wrestling. Morrison quickly jumps Show and starts kicking and hammering Show, but one shoulderblock sends Morrison flying. Show picks up Morrison and headbutts him, then tells him this is what will happen. Show throws Morrison in the corner and nails a huge chop then tosses him down again. Show asks his if he’s going to get up and fight, and Morrison tries but one headbutt sends JoMo down again and then Show walks over him. Show with a big right hand to the midsection and then another chop. Stryker says the Space Needle shook, maybe from snoring at how boring this match is. Show with a rear chinlock as he needed to slow down the match, don’t know why it’s at sloth speed already, any slower we’ll be in reverse. Morrison elbows his way to the ropes, and Show just kicks Morrison in the head sending him to the floor. Hope this match ends soon, I’m going to need an espresso to watch much more of this. This may be the worst match of Morrison, as Show lifts him up and pulls him in with ease. Morrison gets a kick in and then catches Show charging in the corner and follows with a low dropkick. Show goes for a chokeslam and JoMo counters to the apron and hits a big kick. JoMo with a missile dropkick gets a two count as Show powers out. Morrison comes back with the big running knee and gets a near fall, as the match has finally picked up a bit. Morrison goes for the Flying Chuck, but Show just punches him in mid-air for the win. 3.5/10 very slow paced and boring, had one quick segment near the end which saved it from DUD. After commercial we join Teddy in his office with Tiffany, who says she is so excited to work with the divas. Tiffany asks about Mickie, who’s out with a knee injury, and Teddy says she’s doing fine. Vickie waddles her way in, and Teddy introduces Tiffany and Vickie says she is the reason ECW got cancelled. Teddy defends her and Vickie insults her and says she’s the authority figure. Teddy tells her to calm down and Tiffany is not looking to take her job, not yet. Vickie laughs and Tiffany asks what’s so funny, Vickie says for Tiffany to get ready as she is facing horseface tonight, well I smell a mat classic right there.

5. The Hart Dynasty v Cryme Tyme. The Harts are the official afterthought of the WWE, as they’re in the ring already when we come back. Whose cornflakes did they piss in to get this shitty treatment, seriously? Have I said I hate Cryme Tyme, they’re more annoying then Khali, but at least they’re not horseface! Kidd and JTG start the match, and Kidd quickly opens up on JTG and sends him in, but JTG comes back with a dropkick. JTG tossed to the corner and tries to jump Kidd, who stops and chops the leg off JTG then drives the knee in the ringpost. Kidd with a single leg crab, and I hope JTG taps to end this garbage. No, worse we get the gong, as I look hopefully for Chuck Barris to appear out of nowhere. Wonder how many readers get the reference? The lights come up and Undertaker is in the ring. Undertaker destroys everyone in the ring, killing all four of them. Kidd gets a Last Ride and DH Smith gets a tombstone, way to bury your only tag teams. DUD just a waste of airtime, as we need to see the old geezer again. Undertaker grabs JTG and locks on Hell’s Gate as all four are down in the middle of the ring.

6. Michelle McCool v Tiffany. It’s not getting any better tonight, seriously who’s booking this shit? They must be eating Hornswoggle’s Lucky Charms, how else can you explain thinking this is good? Horseface comes out with Scary Spice and Tons of Fun (Vickie), as the announcers kiss McCool’s ass. Guess they’re afraid of beaten like the Dynasty and Cryme Tyme. Tiffany comes out in a purple top and little white skirt, very hot! Horseface yawns, or is she motioning for Undertaker to come out? Never mind. Horseface lifts Tiffany’s skirt and then pushes her down, Horseface then does pushups. Now she thinks she’s Scotty Steiner, that’s an insult to Scotty, at least he can wrestle. Well, maybe not anymore but at one time he was one of the best. Horseface charges in and Tiffany with a reverse atomic drop and a pair of clotheslines followed by a dropkick. She then kicks Horseface to the floor and follows her and hammers Horseface. Tiffany destroys the overrated sack of crap and sends her into the barricade. Tiffany tries to whip her into to the ring and she holds the barricade allowing Vickie to spear Tiffany. 2/10 almost a DUD but Tiffany was able to do a few moves and looked good doing it, saving the match. Horseface rams a knee into the side of Tiffany’s head, great now she’s stealing Regal’s finisher. She tosses Tiffany in the ring and the three gremlins follow, and just as things look bleak for Tiffany, Beth Phoenix charges down the aisle. Beth tosses Scary Spice into Horseface then double clotheslines them down. Beth clotheslines Spice then a forearm sends Horseface to the floor where Scary is deposited on top of her. Beth turns and sees Vickie who tells Beth to get Tiffany, and instead she grabs Vickie and pulls her in the middle of the ring. Beth smiles and offers her hand, then clotheslines the manatee to the mat. Beth goes for the Glam Slam on Vickie and Horseface distracts Beth, allowing Vickie to escape. Beth goes over to Tiffany and helps her up and raises her arm. Now we see Kane walking the hallways, sure why question it anymore?

7. Kane v Luke Gallows. They lock up and Kane with a side headlock, Luke sends him to the ropes and Kane comes back with a shoulderblock. I bet this leads to a tag match next week, Kane & Rey versus Punk & Gallows. Kane clotheslines Gallows down and then rams him in the buckle and follows with a series of punches. Kane misses a clothesline and Luke hits a flying forearm, but misses a elbow and Kane hits the low dropkick. Kane readies for the chokeslam and Punk calls Luke out of the ring as we go to commercial. We come back and Luke is pounding on the Big Red Monster, why do they call him that when his outfit is mostly black now? We see Punk’s rookie watching the match backstage, as Luke has a rear chinlock on Kane. Kane fights off and Luke shoots him in and nails a clothesline then a big splash gets a near fall. Luke quickly jumps on Kane and pounds him, as we get a look at the beautiful Serena watching the match. Luke comes off the ropes and Kane gets a boot up, and follows with a corner clothesline/side slam combo for a near fall. Kane climbs the ropes, and Stryker gets the line of the week as he says this is like Kane versus Bizarro Kane. That’s great as Luke was the fake Kane before he was Festus! Nobody is better on commentary then Stryker, fire King, JR, and Cole and let Stryker do all the shows! Kane hits the diving lariat but then runs into a back elbow. Luke hits a short arm clothesline for a near fall, then goes to send Kane in the corner. Kane counters to a chokeslam and Punk quickly comes in the ring to save his man drawing the DQ. 6/10 was about as good as can be expected considering who was in the match. Punk hits the GTS on Kane, and this brings out Rey Mysterio, who does the slow walk to the ring to his music. Punk waits for Rey to come in the ring, and Punk bails out, Rey follows and we have a slugfest on the floor. Rey backdrops Punk into the crowd and continues to pound Punk. The refs break them up and Punk quickly runs up the ramp as the refs hold Mysterio.

8. Highlight Reel w/ Edge. This is our main event interview tonight. Jericho looks proudly at his title as Edge makes his way down to the ring. The crowd immediately starts the chant of spear, as Jericho asks Edge if something is funny. Edge says there is something funny as the only highlight that keeps happening is he keeps hitting him with a move and he can’t remember the name, prompting the crowd to chant spear. Jericho says that’s humorous how he gets the sheep to chant, I thought WWE fans were called Lemmings! Jericho calls the fans mindless drones and says it’s fantasy and he deals in reality. Jericho says he’s an honest man who tells the truth and they could’ve been the greatest tag but Edge got hurt. Jericho says Edge always gets close to greatness and gets hurt as he goes over Edge’s injuries and asks how much time has Edge missed due to injury? Jericho asks if Edge knows what he’s been doing while he’s injured and Edge says he’s been losing. Jericho says he’s been building a hall of fame career, injury free. Edge asks if he has a point, as he takes risks, dives off ladders, jumps into flaming tables and lands in thumbtacks, it’s what he does. Edge says at Wrestlemania he will take back his title, and Jericho says Edge has taken a lot of risks, especially agreeing to face him at Wrestlemania. Jericho calls Edge a fraud and has never succeeded on his own, as he mocks Edge being with Vickie Guerrero, to which Edge says everyone has a girlfriend they regret. Edge says for him it’s Vickie and for Jericho it’s the Big Show, but he takes calculated risks and will beat him for the title. Jericho again tells Edge to stay away from him, as bad things happen to Edge when they’re in the same ring. Jericho points out that Edge came back early and won the Rumble, but it’s going to cost him as Jericho doesn’t think Edge was ready to come back and is still injured. Jericho says the fans want to see Wrestlemania end with Edge holding the title, but the reality is Jericho will win and hurt Edge and send him home for another six months and that’s a guarantee. Edge responds by saying he’s going to do something at Wrestlemania too, make Jericho an ex-world champion and he’ll do it after hitting him with a spear. Jericho suddenly pops Edge with the microphone and then grabs a stool and drives it in the ribs of Edge. Jericho kicks Edge in the ribs and takes off his jacket and whips Edge with it. Jericho goes to toss Edge into the big TV, like he did with Shawn, and Edge blocks sending Jericho to the ropes. Jericho comes back and Edge kicks him and nails the Impaler DDT. Edge readies for the spear as Jericho grabs his title and slowly gets up. Edge charges in and Jericho cracks him in the skull with the World Title. Jericho stands over Edge and repeatedly says spear while pointing at the crowd. Jericho gets in Edge’s face and says spear and drops the mic on Edge, then stands over him with his World Title.

Match Recap:

1. R-Truth pinned Miz 7/10

2. Drew McIntyre squashed Aaron Bolo DUD

3. Big Show crushed John Morrison 3.5/10

4. Hart Dynasty and Cryme Tyme went to a no contest DUD

5. Tiffany beat Michelle McCool by DQ 2/10

6. Kane beat Luke Gallows by DQ 6/10

Well, this was a horribly bad episode of Smackdown. We had one good match and one moderately watchable match in two hours. The rest of the show was just crap and what was the point of Undertaker squashing everyone. Nice to see Tiffany try and wrestle, I just hope she’s good as we really didn’t see much this week. She’s got to be better then McCool at least, I expect we’ll have a pair of tag matches next week. I assume they’ll do Horseface and Scary Spice versus Beth & Tiffany and Straight Edge Society versus Rey & Kane. Tonight’s show was a massive throwaway episode and a waste of two hours.


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