Chris' Blog

Wrestlicious Takedown – March 1, 2010


It’s been a busy week this week; obviously, it took me till Friday to finally watch this. I’m a little backlogged right now, as I still have NXT, Superstars, Impact and Smackdown to watch, and I will get these caught up by Sunday night. So we’re starting with the debut episode of Wrestlicious, which I sadly admit to looking forward too. Considering the roster of talent they have, this could be good. It won’t be as good as SHIMMER, but should still be entertaining. Let’s see what Wrestlicious brings us in their debut episode.

We open with a nice little video showcasing the girls; I recognize Madison Rayne, Lacey Von Erich, Daffney, and Portia Perez. Now we go to JV’s Crib, as he asks what Jimmy is doing, and he’s washing the dishes. We even have canned laughter, this is classic. Jimmy storms off the set complaining he’s a Hall of Famer, after being asked to clean the pool. From there we get a little opening video with an Italian Mafia babe, an all-American Girl, a Hawaiian stereotype, a female Dracula, Lacey Von Erich, a Britney Spears wannabe, a Charlie’s Angel wannabe, a superhero. This is funny so far, now we get a farm girl, a voodoo queen, a surfer babe, two chicks from the hood, a fifties girl (who’s really cute), a marine (who sounds like ODB), Leyla Milani, the owner JV Rich. I feel like I’m watching GLOW, and that’s not a bad thing. This is a nice change from the WWE; of course a match would be nice. Instead we get dancing referees now as we go to commercial. We come back and see the girls in the locker room, and Kandi Kisses joins the producer, she’s playing the Britney wannabe. We get a bad joke about her horrible singing. As we go to the ring to Johnny C.

1. Kandi Kisses comes to the ring, not to wrestle, but to perform her debut single. Well, it’s no worse than Britney Spears, as they make it obvious she’s lip syncing. She can’t dance and keeps bumping into the dancers, who try to get her out of the ring as we go to commercial. They announce a twenty girl battle royal, featuring Brooke Lynn, Sierra Sheraton & Lacey Von Erich. More names will be announced each week, as we now get a spotlight on Autumn Frost, played by local Indy star Jennifer Blake. Basically we get a bunch of shots of her in a bikini, not that I’m complaining.

2. Toni the Top v. Maui. Toni is playing a Godfather girl gimmick while Maui is playing a Hawaiian girl. Way to make the stereotypes so obvious, glad they make it easy. The bell rings and Toni has her by the hair and chokes her on the ropes then kicks her in the corner. Toni shoots her in and kicks Maui in the gut then a sit-down slam, called the Sleeps with the Fishes for the win. 1/10 basically a squash match, wasn’t even a minute long. We now go to the fake doctor with the farm girl, Cousin Cassie. Then to a stereotype of a Mexican girl working in a restaurant. Now back to the ring for the main event.

3. Maria Toro, Bandita & Felony v. Tyler Texas, Cousin Cassie &Charlotte. Maria playing a bullfighter, Bandita is the stereotyped Mexican and Felony is of course a jailbird. Tyler is a country musician, Cassie is the farmer’s daughter & Charlotte is a southern belle. Is it bad that I’m enjoying this more than RAW? Cassie starts out with Bandita, and a lockup as Cassie forced to the ropes. Bandita gets a knee in and they lock up again. Cassie with a trio of snapmares and then dances for the crowd as Bandita bails out of the ring. Loving the pink ropes by the way. The announcer calls the girls the future of wrestling, well wrestling is in a lot of trouble then! As we get another lockup and Bandita with a side headlock then hammers Cassie’s back. Bandita rams her in the corner and then whips her in. Cassie ducks a clothesline and nails one of her own, then stomps the Latina. Cassie rams the shoulder into Bandita who’s in the corner, but Bandita hip tosses her out of the corner and follows with a leg drop. Both girls connect with a clothesline and both girls are down. I like Bandita! They tag and in come Tyler and Felony, as Felony hammers Texas who comes back with the rights and a pair of armdrags then a pretty nice dropkick gets two. Felony whips her in and Toro takes her down by the hair, and they double team Texas. Charlotte has the ref while Texas is getting destroyed in the corner and Toro now in as she stomps a mudhole in Texas. Felony in now and pulls her up and twists the neck, but Texas fights out, however a hard right takes down Texas. Toro back in and she clotheslines Texas down for a near fall, and while Toro fights with the ref she drives the knee in the throat of Texas. Toro tags in Felony again, damn I want Bandita back in. Felony drops an elbow for a two, and goes to rear chinlock with the knee in the back. Felony continues to wear down Texas, and now tags in Toro who pounds her in the corner. The ref tied up with the good girls and the bad girls take the opportunity to triple team Texas. Toro shoots her in but Texas comes back with a hair takedown, and both need a tag now. Felony tagged in along with Charlotte who comes in with a series of clotheslines taking out all three, then goes for a DDT on Felony but Maria breaks it up and nails her with the Bull Run, which actually looked cool. Felony makes the cover and steals the victory. 5.5/10 not a bad match actually as the show ends.

Match Recap:

1. Toni the Top crushed Maui 1/10

2. Maria Toro, Bandita & Felony beat Cousin Cassie, Tyler Texas & Charlotte 5.5/10

Not a bad debut for the show, and the main event was better than expected. I actually have to admit I enjoyed it for what it was. Just a nice mindless thirty minutes of wrestling and bad comedy, very much like classic GLOW. Next up is Superstars.


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