Chris' Blog

Monday Night RAW: Springer wastes fifteen minutes of your life.
February 16, 2010, 12:09 pm
Filed under: WWE RAW | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,


Monday Night RAW – February 16, 2010

I’m going to try and use Windows Live Writer again for tonight’s episode of Monday Night RAW. I haven’t quite decided if I like the way it posts or not. Tonight on RAW we have the six men in the elimination chamber facing off in three singles matches, We have Randy Orton versus Sheamus, Kofi Kingston versus Ted DiBiase & Triple H versus John Cena. The Kofi/DiBiase match might be good but not to excited about the other two. Also tonight our guest host is none other then Jerry Springer, host of reality trash TV and former mayor. Of course with three of the matches already booked, doesn’t seem like he has much to do this week. He would’ve fit in better in the Attitude era over the current child safe era that Vince forcing down our throats. The biggest news of the week is that starting next month TNA Impact will go head to head with WWE RAW, which should be very interesting. I hope TNA can make the most of this situation and be competitive enough to get Vince worried and make a better product. Competition is important, as WWE has not been the same without the challenge of WCW. Well, let’s get to tonight’s episode.

  1. Today being a holiday in the USA, we open with the National Anthem, sung by some fifteen year old girl. These are the moments where they must miss Lillian Garcia. The girl did a great job, as we now go to our opening video and from there we go to King and Michael Cole who recap tonight’s lineup. Bret Hart will address the crowd, as will Bret Hart.

  2. Sheamus v. Randy Orton. Nice to see our champion continue to be the curtain jerker of RAW. This is why no one takes Sheamus seriously as champion. I bet he loses this match too, has he won a won match clean since winning the title? Michael Cole mentions the Westminister Kennel Club is on CNBC tonight, nice that the no longer bump the show for that. Randy does his vintage slow walk to the ring as the pasty white champion waits patiently. The bell rings and both men lock up, and they wind up in the corner and we get a clean break. Sheamus poses so Orton nails him with an uppercut then slithers backwards. Another lockup and in the corner, this time Sheamus cheapshots Orton then hammers him and follows with the short arm clothesline. Sheamus caught charging in the corner and hammers Sheamus, but now Orton gets caught as both guys able to catch the other. Sheamus powerslams Orton down and waits for him to get up, Sheamus goes for the Pump Kick, but Orton moves and goes for RKO but Sheamus slides out as we go to commercial. We come back and Orton is stomping the champion the does the vintage Garvin Stomp, worst finisher ever. Suddenly we see Legacy coming down the aisle, which stomps Orton cold. While Orton is distracted Sheamus catches him with a backbreaker then rams him in the buckle. Sheamus works over the back of Orton and whips him in, but gets caught with his head down. Well, better then being caught with his pants down, just saying. Orton with a perfect standing dropkick on Sheamus and stomps the midsection repeatedly. Orton catches Sheamus with the vintage backbreaker, and now begins the RKO stalking, I love that. Orton goes for RKO but Sheamus avoids it and gets kicked to the floor. Orton comes out after him, and Sheamus tries to slam him into the post but Orton slides down and posts Sheamus. Orton slithers back in and DiBiase goes for Sheamus, but Sheamus catches him, however Cody nails Sheamus from behind and the ref sees it. 6/10 was a good match, as I like both guys and Orton is just about to explode as a face. If done right he could be the next Austin, minus the wife beatings, then again never know with Orton. Orton looks like he’s about to snap as Rhodes cost him a second time against Orton. DiBiase and Rhodes come in the ring to explain to Orton, and Orton RKO’s Rhodes. Suddenly Sheamus hits the Pump Kick on DiBiase, but he turns into the RKO and Orton is the only man standing. Would’ve liked to see an ending to the match, but what else is new with Sheamus. The only champion that can’t score a pin, I expect he’s losing the title at the Chamber. We see Bret Hart walking the backstage area as he heads to the ring.

  3. Bret Hart comes down to the ring to a huge ovation, as the worst storyline in the company continues. I think this storyline has jumped the shark and is getting more boring each week, but I was never a huge fan of Bret anyways. I always thought he took himself way too seriously. Bret says it’s no shock that Vince isn’t there tonight. No but Batista is supposedly there. Bret says he would’ve waited for Bret at the airport, his hotel or this building. Bret says he came here to finish things once and for all with Vince McMahon, as the crowd chants Bret, Bret continues by saying he came back to make peace with Vince, but it wasn’t to be, he says when he thinks of things he realizes Vince lied, kicked him and spit on him. He calls Batista a goon who tried to rough him up and all he can hear is Vince saying he deserved to be screwed. Bret says Vince deserves to have the holy hell beat out of him, as we keep hearing some dumbass screaming how much he loves Bret. Bret says you won’t find Vince at the bottom of the barrel but under the barrel and says it would’ve been sweet to have one last victory at Wrestlemania, but it’s not to be. Someone shut the guy in the crowd up, please, he’s sounds like a moron. Bret thanks the guys in the back and the WWE Universe for having him back, and he thanks Cena for saving him. This just feels like it’s dragging on, as Bret says goodbye and drops the microphone. Bret heads up the ramp and leaves, I expected Batista to spear him on the stage. That seemed like a massive waste of air time. We see Bret backstage as he shakes hands with Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Alicia Fox, Primo, Gail Kim and Evan Bourne. Nice to see Swagger break character and shake hands with Bret, as he’s now walking with John Cena, who asks is that it. John says he has respect for Bret but can get something out of this for Wrestlemania. Bret says it’s over and shakes Cena’s hand and gets in his limo. Cena turns away and suddenly someone backs into Bret’’s limo, and Cena tries to move the car as Gail and Bourne come running in. Bret’s leg was stuck in between the vehicles, I like how the driver of the car that hit him is blonde. That’s hilarious for some reason, it should’ve been Bret’s ex wife! They load Vince on a stretcher and load him into the meat wagon. This is so stupid, seriously, we get twenty minutes of this and maybe a sixty second diva match later. Bret gets taken to the hospital now as we go to commercial, I bet we get updates from Mene Gene at hospital all night, like Hogan in WCW.

  4. Big Show & Miz v. MVP & Mark Henry. Oh boy a match with Big Show and Mark Henry at the same time, this should be….something. MVP and Kool-Aid Man come out to the ring and we start with Miz and MVP, who immediately hammers Miz in the corner. MVP gets caught running in and then Miz gets caught, then eats a headbutt from Henry as MVP kicks him out of the ring as we go to commercial. We come back and Miz has a headlock on MVP, who tries to make the tag. MVP makes the tag and now Miz is getting destroyed by Henry, but Henry gets caught running in. Miz tries a crossbody, but Henry catches him and nails the World Strongest Slam. Henry covers but Big Show drops a leg across the head of Henry and Miz tags him in. Henry catches Show and nails him, tosses him in the corner and nails the Avalanche. Henry goes for a slam, but Show blocks and nails a big DDT on Kool-Aid Man. Show stumbled over Mark and had to grab the ropes, that looked painful, but Show climbs the ropes. Show goes for Vader Bomb, but Henry rolls out of the way and both men are down. Henry makes the tag, and MVP hits a flying forearm, then a facebreaker followed by the corner kick. A second one doesn’t work out as Show gets a boot up, and MVP runs in for the cover. MVP rolls up Miz for the upset win. 5.25/5 way to job out the new champions, that was dumb. It was an ok match, but nothing really special or exciting, sadly this means we’re going to have a rematch probably next week. The little info thing they show mentions that Triple H is the only multi time winner of the Elimination Chamber with four wins, after Sunday I bet it’s five.

  5. Jerry Springer is introduced to the crowd, well at least it’s a guest host I’ve heard of, as opposed to most of the hosts. I used to watch his show years ago, didn’t even know it was still on, trash TV lives forever. Jerry thanks the crowd and says tonight’s show is “Superstars Most Intimate Relationships Revealed” and introduced his first guest, Kelly Kelly. Nice to see Live Writer doesn’t have an issue with Kelly’s name, unlike Word which hates the double name. Kelly looks good tonight, as Jerry asks why she hasn’t wrestled. She says she has a confession, she’s pregnant. Oh, you got to be freaking kidding me, tell me they’re not going down this road again. How many pregnant diva storylines do we need in a lifetime? I’m about to give up on this show at this point, as Springer asks who’s the daddy, as the crowd chant he is, he says he doesn’t even know her. Kelly gives a vintage whore answer by saying she doesn’t know and there is a lot of possibilities, Springer asks where do I sign up, she says it might be….Santino. I saw that coming a mile away, no one does comedy like him. I figured it was either him or Hornswoggle which would’ve been just up Vince’s alley. This is the problem with having comedy writers write the shows, just because something is funny on a sitcom doesn’t make it funny on wrestling. They need actually wrestling writers, you know, people who wrestled. How hard is it to get wrestling writers, Paul Heyman, Jim Cornette, Michael Hayes, Bill Watts even for God sakes. Anyways, Santino comes out and calls Jerry, Maury Povich, and says he is papa. Santino says after a couple drink things got crazy and he is papa, Jerry says that’s not true is it. She says Santino fell asleep and she needed someone to finish the job, someone with more experience, Cole stands up and says that was their secret. Lawler stands up and says she’s not talking about him, she’s talking about himself Springer says she’s too old for Lawler and he picks up his girls during recess. Now out comes Brie and Nikki Bella, as this whole damn show is jumping the shark and peeing on it. The Bellas say they have a secret too, and Springer brings them in. Nikki yells out Brie is a man, Brie slaps her and we have a catfight, as Jerry asks if they are trying to make him feel like he’s at home. Brie says she saw someone enter the room with Kelly, and out comes Chris Masters. So what we got here is that Kelly is a ring rat who screwed everyone on the roster? She’s like a modern day Missy Hyatt, except with smaller boobs that won’t reach her knees in ten years. Seriously look at the nudes of Missy and tell me that’s not the definition of saggy. Kelly says she couldn’t resist it, Jerry tells him to but a bra on, and out comes Eve. Eve screams at Kelly and calls Masters her man, Eve pushes her and another catfight and asks Master how he could do this. Masters’ says she wasn’t getting the job done, so Eve says she has a secret. Let me guess, she’s pregnant too, maybe with the Genetic Jackhammer, after all we always need to placate Vince’s ego. Eve’s secret is she’s been cheating on Master’s with a real man, and out comes The Great Khali. Well at least it’s not Hornswoggle, yet. This may be the dumbest segment of all time, but at least the divas are on camera! Khali comes in, scoops up Eve and they swap saliva, as security holds back the Masterpiece. Santino says everyone hold on, he wants to know who’s the father, and Jerry has the results of the paternity test. He opens the envelope and announces the father of Kelly’s baby is Hornswoggle, of course it is. Who the hell didn’t see this coming, seriously, what a load of shit this is. Jerry says this is crazier then his show, we got leprechauns, giants, guys with big pecs, twin trannys and he says his name isn’t Maury and he is out of here. Jerry leaves and Lawler yells to Springer to hold on a second, and says they couldn’t help it. They wanted to freak out Springer, as Kelly’s not pregnant, Brie’s not a man, and Khali has no idea what is going on. Runjin says much like the  audience, Khali knows what’s going on and feels this was all a waste of time. Amen to that, this is so stupid. Lawler says it wasn’t a waste of time as there is one intimate relationship he wants to reveal and it’s not theirs, it’s Springer’s. Lawler says Springer likes his woman young, Lawler’s one to talk, as out comes Mae Young who kisses Springer as this segment limps to an end. What a waste of fifteen minutes of airtime. If this is the kind of crap they air when TNA comes to Monday, I hope TNA kicks WWE’s ass, because this had to be the worst segment since Katie Vick.

  6. Kofi Kingston v. Ted DiBiase. Well, this should be a good match, but all the interest in the show has been sucked out after that segment. They lock up, and wind up in the corner, where Ted gets a knee in the gut of Kingston. The ref pulls Ted back, and Kofi catches him coming in as he takes him down and hammers him. Kofi with a belly to back suplex, then whips him in, but reversed and Ted goes for a dropkick and misses. Kofi shows him how to do a dropkick, as the ref pulls Kofi back as Ted is dazed. Kofi with a quick series of kicks and uses his speed to confuse Ted then climbs the ropes. Kofi hits a double ax handle, then a series of double hand chops followed by another dropkick. Kofi connects with the Boom Drop on DiBiase and readies for Trouble in Paradise. Ted winds up in the corner and Kofi changes plan and goes to spring to the second rope but Ted moves. Ted hits Dream Street on Kingston and scores the win. 3/10 basically all Kofi until the end, I guess Kofi’s push is officially dead and buried. I don’t know who’s cornflakes Kofi pissed in, but he’s going to wind up hanging with Primo and Bourne in the midcard for life club. We now get the announcment of the second inductee for the 2010 Hall of Fame, and it’s Antonio Inoki! After that we get the recap of Bret Hart from earlier including security camera footage. From there we get Springer’s Final Thought, as he calls the WWE fun and outrageous. Springer recaps the Elimination Chamber matches, and says one thing is for certain after Sunday the road to Wrestlemania gets clearer. He then hugs Mae Young and says don’t judge him.

  7. John Cena comes to the ring and says first things first, he has no update on Bret but he’s pulling for him, who knew a broken leg could be fatal? Cena says he was attacked by Batista and did nothing to provoke him, but he won’t run from a fight. Cena says Batista claimed to be coming to RAW to respond so he decided to wait in the ring for him and calls Batista to the ring. Batista is shown on the big screen and waves at Cena, who says he shops at Baby Polo and now shows up on the Titantron. Cena says he knows how to get Batista out, he’ll turn his back. Batista says he’s doing Cena a huge favor by not being there, he says Cena doesn’t want him in the same ring as him. Batista says if they are in the same ring, Cena’s going to wish it was a bad dream. Cena says those are the words of someone trying to act like they’re tough and says Batista wants none of this. Batista says Cena keeps running his mouth while he’s not there and next week he will be live at RAW and he’ll see how much Cena runs his mouth then. Batista says until then, good luck on Sunday and he’s pulling for him. Cena says unlike Batista he’s not afraid to get in the chamber and tells Batista to come get some. Batista leaves the set, as Triple comes out for the match. I bet Batista attacks Cena before the show ends.

  8. John Cena v. Triple H. Well with twelve minutes left, that makes for a short main event, as usual. So not a single diva match this week, how nice the treatment of the divas in the WWE. Way to not even build the Maryse/Gail match at all, but hey at least Springer got fifteen minutes. Next week Jewel & Ty Murray, I love Jewel, but I just don’t get her being guest host, unless she’s a superfan. Cena quickly with a side headlock as they mention twenty World titles between them, that’s a sad sign of the business when they can have that many titles. Especially Cena who’s only been in the WWE since 2002, remember when guys worked years to get a title shot. Just saying is all, I miss when championship meant something instead of being props for overbearing egos. Triple H tries to push Cena off, but Cena holds on and Triple H tries again and this time sends Cena in. Cena comes back with a shoulderblock and back to the headlock. Triple H shoots Cena in, but Cena nails the shoulderblock again, a second attempt from Cena gets him a knee to the midsection. Triple H sets up Cena in the corner and nails the shoulders in, then a hard whip to the opposite corner. Triple H shows his moveset by trying the corner whip again, but countered as Cena hits the worst fisherman Suplex ever. Cena goes for the bulldog, but Triple H shoves him off and drops the knee across Cena’s head. The second one is blocked by Cena who grabs the leg of HHH and goes for the STF but Hunter fights out. Cena tosses HHH over the top and Cena dives off the apron after HHH, but HHH moves and Cena lands hard on the barricade. Triple H goes for the Pedigree on the floor, but Cena counters to the backdrop as we go to commercial. We come back and Triple H has a sleeper on Cena in the middle of the ring, Cena fights out of it and comes off the ropes. Triple H misses the clothesline and Cena hits a pair of shoulderblocks and then the belly to back suplex. Cena drops the fist on HHH and readies for the FU, but HHH fights out and nails a big lariat for a near fall. Springer did a great job says Michael Cole, really, what interesting thing did he do? Triple H sets Cena on the top rope and tries for a superplex, but Cena blocks and shoves HHH off. Cena readies on the top, but HHH pushes the ropes and Cena crotches himself. Triple H goes back up again and goes for the superplex, but Cena blocks again and headbutts HHH down. Cena drops the leg across the back of HHH’s neck and gets a near fall. Cena goes for the STF, but Triple H tries to fight off and reverses to a half crab, but Cena reverses into the STF. Triple H makes the ropes and the hold is broken as Cole continues to kiss both their asses. Cena goes for the FU, but HHH grabs the ropes, Cena drops him and goes for the whip in. HHH reverses and nails the knee to the face, then the facebreaker, followed by the Spinebuster. Triple H readies for the Pedigree, but Sheamus out of nowhere nails the Pump Kick on Triple H drawing the DQ. 4.5/10 just a typical HHH/Cena match, as the only good part was Cena’s legdrop off the top. I knew neither guy would lose, so interference was expected. Sheamus turns his attention to Cena and goes for the Pump Kick, but of course Cena moves and goes for the FU, but Sheamus slides down and hits the Pump Kick. So Sheamus can kill the guys by sneak attacking, but can’t pin anyone, that makes a great champion! Sheamus picks up Triple H and nails the Celtic Cross on the Game. Sheamus holds the RAW title over his head as the show ends.

Match Recap:

  • Sheamus beat Randy Orton by DQ 6/10
  • MVP & Mark Henry beat Miz & Big Show 5.25/5
  • Ted DiBiase upset Kofi Kingston 3/10
  • Triple H beat John Cena by DQ 4.5/10

Overall this was an absolutely horrible episode of RAW. Four matches in two hours, and two of the matches were DQs, what a waste of time. The whole Springer thing was stupid and basically wasted fifteen minutes to get to a dumb joke involving Mae Young. Why not scrap that garbage and maybe do something else…like maybe a match? No divas at all, no mention of Gail v.  Maryse at the PPV, nothing. Supposedly they’re getting rid of the Diva title and merging the two at Wrestlemania, I hope that’s true. Glad I have Shimmer DVDs to watch and see real women’s wrestling. Once I finish the SNME recaps I plan to do recaps for the Shimmer series before doing the Coliseum Video collection. The four matches tonight were pretty bad, when the only that I was interested in was the worst, that’s not a good sign. That and the whole Bret Hart thing is just stupid and not entertaining at all, so now he’ll have a leg injury and Vince will agree to the match next week I bet. Lame as all hell, well, hopefully tomorrow’s final ECW will be a good show. Coming in March Monday night’s get a lot more crowded as Raw, Impact and I think the debut of Wrestlelicious are all the same night, March 8. Well, that’s all for RAW, be back tomorrow with the final ECW recap featuring Miz & Show v. Goldust and Yoshi Tatsu and Christian defends the title against big Ezekiel Jackson in an Extreme Rules match.


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