Chris' Blog

Friday Night Smackdown: Must Miss TV

Friday Night Smackdown – January 22, 2010

So far this week, we’ve had a bad RAW, a horrible TNA, a good Superstars and an impressive ECW. Let’s see where Smackdown falls in comparison to the rest of the week’s shows. So far we know Rey Mysterio will face Undertaker at the Royal Rumble, which of the three title matches is the one I least care about. Orton/Sheamus should be ok and Jackson/Christian is the one I’m most looking forward to. I have no idea what matches are scheduled for tonight’s episode, but I did hear someone debuted tonight, so let’s get to the show.

We start with the recap of Rey winning the cage match last week to earn the number one contender status. From there we go to our opening theme, which is really crappy I have to say. Matt Stryker and Todd Grisham welcome us to Smackdown, as next week it’s John Morrison v. Drew McIntyre, but this week it’s Morrison v. McIntyre and Jericho in a handicap match. Shouldn’t it be called a differently-abled match in this era of political correctness? Just saying is all!

1. Batista v. Finlay. If there is anyone in wrestling more annoying then Cena, here he is, Batista. Why is this man even pushed, he has less talent than Warrior, and even less charisma too. I just don’t get the appeal to Dave; he’s so boring in the ring. The bell rings, and they lock up, with Batista overpowering Finlay in the corner. Batista poses and Finlay catches him with a punch, then a missile dropkick. Finlay with the rolling drop, then the Earthquake as Finlay knocks Batista out of the ring and follows. Batista catches Finlay and tries to gouge out Finlay’s eyes, which prompts the disqualification. DUD lasted about 2 minutes, why bother with a match. Could’ve just had Batista attack Finlay backstage and save time. Batista launches Finlay over the announce table, and then spears Finlay on the floor. Batista beats up the innocent announce table and tosses Finlay into the barricade, and then rams Finlay back first into the ringpost repeatedly. Finlay is down, and Batista picks him up and tosses Finlay into the steps. Batista throws Finlay in the ring and hits the spinebuster; he grabs the mic and says imagine that times twenty-nine as that is what he will do at the Rumble. Batista yells out names as he stomps Finlay, and then promises to win the title and destroy Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Well there’s six minutes of my life I’ll never have back. Why do they call him Altered Beast? Is Batista suddenly a video game from the early 90’s??? Just saying is all.

2. Luke Gallows & CM Punk appears at the top of the ramp, and Punk has the microphone. Punk says there is a reason they are number one contender to tag titles and a reason they will restore dignity to the titles. Punk says next week on Smackdown they will beat D-X and win the titles, yeah good luck with that. Shawn Michaels and Triple H don’t lay down for anyone but their friends. Punk continues by saying he will win the Rumble as well, as he is straight edge and a winner. Punk says the fans can boo all they want, but he sees them for what they are, cowards who hide behind pills, beer and cigarettes, and his point? Isn’t that the American Way? Punk mentions parents who smoke and drink in front of kids, insuring another generation of the weak minded. Punk is phenomenal as the arrogant ass, he does this so perfectly. Punk says people are begging for the savior to bring them to the Promised Land, as he knows he is better than anyone else. CM Punk asks who wants to be the one who will be saved tonight, as some chick dives out of the crowd and goes after Punk, and Gallows hold her off, as this is Serena Deeb’s debut. Serena’s an impressive female wrestler, I’ve seen her in Shimmer, and she’s amazing to watch. Security starts to pull her back, and Punk tells security to wait as he says she is his responsibility. She says she needs Punk, and he says he sees a lifetime of pain and suffering, at least she uses her real name. CM Punk says he knows she is just like everyone else in the crowd, as Luke sets up the chair. She’s seriously going to have her head shaved in her debut? Punk tells Serena she’s with friends now, and he cares about her and tells her it is one thing to say he wants sobriety, but she needs to pledge allegiance to Punk. Punk asks her if she’s ready, and she says yes, as he has her sit.
Serena does the pledge, and CM Punk says from this moment on she will never know how much she means to him. Punk then asks if she is ready to show devotion to him, and she says yes as we go to commercial. We come back to CM Punk shaving Serena’s head, I can’t believe she’s going through with this, I figured she was setting him up for someone to attack! Watching Punk shave her is just freaky, especially considering how creepy he looks with that beard and that grin, very unnerving. Punk finishes shaving Serena,
then kisses her, as he said what happened to her can happen to anyone else as he welcomes her to his Straight Edge Society! This is almost like when Raven was building his flock in ECW, as Stryker says she is loving life. Well at least she’s hot unlike McCool, remember when she was loving life? Sad but Serena still looks hot even bald, is that just wrong to say?

3. Drew McIntyre & Chris Jericho v. John Morrison. I hate handicap matches, just saying, as they seem almost pointless. That and what is Jericho’s motivation to team with Drew anyway. That was bizarre as one minute Jericho’s coming down the ramp, suddenly he’s in the ring, no commercial just suddenly cut while Stryker’s talking, odd. As John comes to the ring, Teddy comes out and tells the ref not to ring the bell, as Vickie did not consult with him before making this match as he changes it to a tag match. Teddy introduces Morrison’s tag team partner, R-Truth. I was expecting Kane, I even had Kane typed in when Teddy said Truth, and I forgot he existed. Just figured we’d have Kane after last night’s Superstars match, but ok. Commercial break and we come back as the bell rings, Morrison and Jericho start out and something is blurred at the bottom of my screen, what the hell is that, no seriously? Jericho takes Morrison down with a shoulderblock, but Morrison back up and hits a nice dropkick. Morrison tags in Truth and they do a double armdrag, nip up, and both take out Drew, then backdrop Jericho on top of Drew. Truth goes after Jericho outside the ring and throws him back in, Truth with an arm bar and tags Morrison in, who comes in from the top with a double axe handle. But Jericho clotheslines Morrison, but goes after Truth and turns into a spinning axe handle. As the ref checks Truth, McIntyre gets a cheap shot in, and Morrison goes tumbling to the floor. Random thought, I miss Big Daddy V, has nothing to do with the match, just wanted to say that, as John gets back in the ring. Jericho with a nice belly to back Suplex, and drags John in his corner and tags McIntyre. Drew stomps John in the corner, and pulls him up by the hair, hitting a short arm clothesline, as Jericho yells at Stryker to call Drew a champion, which Matt does. Drew with an armbar on Morrison, as the announcers say next week’s match is a no dq, which should be awesome. Morrison fires back and tries to tag, but eats Drew’s boot, as Jericho tagged in. Jericho stands over Morrison, and applies a hammerlock, right in front of R-Truth, as he hold John down. Truth tries to get the crowd fired up, as John fights his way up, John avoids a clothesline and hits a side Russian leg sweep on Jericho, as both men are down. Jericho tags in Drew, who runs over Morrison and knocks Truth off the apron as we go to commercial. We come back, and Drew has the armbar on Morrison, as Morrison still unable to make the tag. Morrison should be the better tag guy, considering he’s been tag champ with Miz and Mercury. Drew with a nice tilt a whirl backbreaker for a near fall, and as Jericho yells at the ref, Drew pummels Morrison, then tags Jericho in. Chris gets in the face of Truth, trying to distract the ref, and goes back to Morrison, and hits a vertical Suplex. Jericho hangs Morrison on the ropes, and while the ref is distracted McIntyre with a cheap shot. Jericho continues the offense on John, and sets him on the top rope. Jericho climbs up top, and goes for a superplex, but John counters and knocks Jericho down. John hits a crossbody for a near fall. Morrison tries to tag, but Jericho has the leg of Morrison. Jericho goes for the Walls, but Morrison counters out. Jericho tags Drew in, and Drew cuts off Morrison, preventing the tag and follows up with a snap Suplex. Morrison firing back with some punches, but Drew takes the legs out, and tags Jericho in. Jericho slaps Morrison with his arm pad, and walks over John before tagging the Scotsman back in. McIntyre stomps the fingers of John and whips him in, but John counters the side slam into a DDT, very impressive looking, as both men are down again. John needs the tag, and this is probably the last chance, as John has played Ricky Morton for the last 10 minutes now. Both men make the tag, as Truth and Jericho the legal men. Truth opens up on Jericho with a series of quick moves, and hits a huge kick for a near fall, but McIntyre breaks the tag. John tags Drew out of the ring, but Jericho knocks John out of the ring. Jericho hits the enziguri on Truth, as the ref is busy with Drew. John gets caught with a kick from Morrison. Truth hits an axe kick on Chris Jericho for the victory. 4.75/5 an amazing tag team match, and easily the best match of the week. Four of the best on Smackdown in a hell of a tag match! Stryker screaming like Bobby Heenan about how the faces cheated to win, classic. Next week Morrison v. McIntyre in a no dq match for the IC title, which should be a great match.

4. We come back from commercial to horseface and Scary Spice in the ring, whatever. Horseface says she’s supposed to have a match with Mickie at the Rumble, but it won’t happen. She says after tonight Mickie will be gone from Smackdown forever, as Spice does a Porky Pig impersonation. This is pathetic, as McCool is so freaking ugly, seriously, who thinks she is hot, well other than Undertaker. They do a bunch of fat jokes and have a pig cake. This brings out the Diva of the Year, and the hottest one to do Playboy, Maria.
Maria tells Scary and Horseface that they are annoying, and I agree. Maria says this ends now, as all they do is torture Mickie, Maria says the only people that need to leave Smackdown are those two, I agree. She says go out on your own, or she’ll have them carried out. Now they make fun of Maria’s weight, and tell her to get Trump a Starbucks. Maria asks what have they done, and she’s right. Maria says she wants the two morons out of her ring, and out comes the hottest diva in the WWE, MICKIE JAMES!
Mickie says she sick and tired of the petty childish mean girl crap, and I agree. At least when the Beautiful People do it, it’s funny and they look good doing it. Mickie calls Michelle a nobody, who’s done nothing, as she pities her. Mickie yells at them to look at her, as she’s what a real woman look like, and I agree. Michelle makes Tori Spelling look good, seriously. Mickie says she’s curvy, gorgeous and sexy, and I agree again. Mickie says she is her, and they way she was meant to be and proud of it. She says their torturing will not chase her off the show; the only people who tell her to go away are the fans. At least Mickie has earned her spot, as opposed to McCool who only has title because she’s with Undertaker! Spice and horseface do more fat jokes, as Mickie asks if she’s Smarter than a Fifth Grader, where she sucked at the show, like she sucks with…well never mind…I won’t say it. Mickie says she will teach both of them manners. Mickie and Maria lay a beating on Scary and horseface, and out comes Beth Phoenix. Beth grabs Maria and tosses her shoulder first into the post. They then do a three on one on Mickie, damn Beth; I thought she was better than these two pieces of crap. Beth holds Mickie, while horseface grabs some cake and rams it in the face of Mickie. Way to let Mickie get some revenge, she better win at the Rumble. Horseface then pours the punchbowl over Mickie’s head as Beth leaves. Mickie in the middle of the ring starts to cry, as horseface and Scary Spice leave the ring.

5. Cryme Tyme v. Charlie Haas & Mike Knox. Well, from that horrible thing to Mike Knox, as once again the bottom of my picture blurs. JTG and Knox start and JTG takes down Knox quickly, as he tags in Haas. Haas with a high knee, as suddenly Kane appears! Kane comes to the ring, and tosses JTG, then Haas on top. Kane pushes Shad and Knox over the top at the same time, and does his vintage fire. No rating, as there was basically no match, Kane came out within the first minute and ended the match.
6. Great Khali & Matt Hardy v. Hart Dynasty. Talk about an odd team, as Khali and Matt dance to Khali’s music, which amuses me to no end. Matt and Kidd open the match and Kidd with an arm bar, but Matt back with a clothesline. Kidd powers Matt to the corner, and Smith pulls the legs out, and Kidd drops a leg. Smith pulls Matt out and rams in the apron and rolls Matt back in, as Smith tagged in and nails a delayed vertical Suplex for a near fall. Smith with a rear chinlock, but Matt fights out. Smith goes for a slam, Matt counters, and gets whipped in. Matt comes back with a Side Effect, as Natalya goes over to Khali and flashes her chest at him, can’t blame Khali for being distracted. Matt throws Smith into Kidd, and rolls him up for the upset win. 2.5/5 way too fast of a match, and a useless ending. What a waste of Kidd, Smith and Hardy, seriously. We now see Rey Mysterio coming to the ring.

7. Rey Mysterio comes to the ring and has the microphone. Rey says he’s been in the back all night, and has heard people wondering why he’s crazy enough to call out Undertaker. Rey says because four years ago he won his first and only World Title, and the only thing between him and his dream, is the nightmare that is the Undertaker. Rey wants to call him out and look him in the eyes, won’t he need a ladder for that, to tell him he’s not afraid. Seriously, Rey’s like crotch high on Undertaker, who’s going to take this match seriously? Undertaker makes his way to the ring, slowly as usual, as he gets in the ring and towers over Rey. Undertaker asks Rey if he’s having second thoughts, and Rey say’s he is but will stand his ground, as Undertaker does his best Jason from Friday the 13th. Rey says he will do whatever it takes to win, as he says he has had dreams and nightmare, and he will conquer the nightmare of the Undertaker and relive the dream of being Champion. Rey tells Undertaker at Royal Rumble he will beat him, to which Undertaker repeats Rey and says those are bold words, little man. Undertaker says Rey has made a career out of doing the impossible and conquered everything in his life, but he needs to be aware that no one triumphs over the grave. Undertaker says he admits Rey’s gallantry, but Rey is digging his own grave. Undertaker vows Rey will suffer the same fate as everyone else who’s tried to make a name for him, as he tells Rey he will rest in peace. Undertaker leaves the ring, as Rey yells at Undertaker he stops and turns around, Rey says he is not like the rest. Suddenly Batista comes out of nowhere and clobbers Rey from behind, and hits a Batista Bomb, as Undertaker slowly comes back to the ring, Batista slides out of the ring and escapes through the crowd. Undertaker goes back up the ramp as we see Rey Mysterio still down in the ring.

Match Recap

1. Finlay beat Batista by DQ DUD
2. Drew McIntyre & Chris Jericho lost to John Morrison & R-Truth 4.75/5
3. Cryme Tyme & Charlie Haas & Mike Knox went to a no decision No Rating
4. Matt Hardy & Great Khali beat Hart Dynasty 2.5/5

Four matches in two hours and two were not even matches. One went about three minutes as well. If it wasn’t for Drew/Jericho v. Morrison/Truth this would have been worse than Impact. Other than the one good match, this was a throwaway show. That’s all I have to say about this show.


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