Chris' Blog

WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event #5 – March 1, 1986

WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event #5 – March 1, 1986

Let’s hop back in our time machine and return to the glory days of Hulk-a-Mania, as we continue our trek through the classic SNME. Tonight’s episode continues the buildup for Wrestlemania II, as we have Don Muraco facing Hulk Hogan in our main event. Let’s quickly recap our champions, as Hulk Hogan is still our World Champion, Randy Savage won the IC title on February 8th in Boston from Tito Santana, The Dream Team of Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake are still Tag Champions and Moolah is still Women’s Champion. Randy Savage’s title win in Boston came quickly after his debut, which was only in August and sadly began the rapid fall of Tito Santana, who other than a brief Tag Title run in 1987 quickly became feeder material for newer guys. Tonight’s episode of SNME comes to us from Phoenix, Arizona and should be a very interesting show. Let’s get down to Mene Gene Okerlund to start the show.

Mene Gene is standing by with Mr. T who tonight faces Cowboy Bob Orton in a boxing match. I’m not even sure how I’m supposed to recap a boxing match, so this may be strange. Gene interrupts Mr. T’s workout and T yells at Gene and says not to interrupt him. T says this will be a war, and when it’s done Orton will look like Gene as he kicks Gene out of the gym. This takes us to our opening music; thankfully it’s the right feed so we get the classic “Obsession” by Animotion, which just seems so much better than the crappy generic music from the 24/7 feeds. Vince McMahon welcomes us to Phoenix, and says we have two championship matches, as he introduces Jesse Ventura. Tonight we also have a tag title match as the Dream Team face the British Bulldogs. Tonight we get to see Adrian v. JYD and the debut of Hulk Hogan’s music video, as Jesse says another video he’s left out of. We now go to Piper’s Pit from last month with Hulk Hogan, as Hulk says he’d love to box Orton. Hulk says Orton has an open contract and has a good friend who wants the match. Piper says they don’t care, anyone who wants to box Boxing Bob he’ll fight them. Hulk hands Piper the contract and its Mr. T as Piper snaps! Gene over to Piper and Orton, as Piper calls Mr. T the great American hero. Piper has a picture of Mr. T hanging out with Boy George and makes fun of T’s friends. I remember that episode of A-Team with Boy George, which makes me feel real freaking old. This takes us to Mr. T having his hands wrapped, as we get to see T’s training video. Mene Gene is with T, who looks like an oversized candy cane in the striped robe, T says he doesn’t take anyone lightly and that Orton won’t last three rounds. Gene mentions Rocky III and T calls that a movie, this is real. Gene says about Piper training Orton, and T calls Hot Rod a chump and says he can beat both of them.

1. Mr. T v. Boxing Bob Orton. This is a boxing match, so I really don’t have a clue how to call this. I haven’t seen a boxing match since the heyday of Iron Mike Tyson. Jesse makes fun of T’s robe from the gym, as both men come to center ring and Piper slaps T’s head. Jesse says T is scared of Orton, as Orton jumps T from behind and they start slugging it out. Neither guy is connecting with anything, as they wind up in the ropes and Orton holds T as the ref warns Orton. The crowd is crapping all over this, and I don’t blame them. Orton with a blatant thumb in the eye of T, as Jesse asks what the difference between a blatant thumb in the eye and a thumb in the eye. The doctor comes in the ring, as Orton and Piper laugh in their corner; T pushes the doctor away and wants to fight. T pounds Orton in the corner, as the bell rings for the round, and Orton with a cheap shot knocking T down. The ref admonishes Orton in his corner, as T gets checked by his cornerman. Orton with a goofy looking dance, as Orton looks away, and T gets a big shot in. Piper distracts the ref and Orton with a knee, he holds T as the ref distracted by T’s corner and Piper goes for a punch, but hits Orton. T fires on Orton and sends him out of the ring for the win. No rating, wouldn’t know how to rate this anyway, was quick and harmless. This basically set up the T v. Piper boxing match for Wrestlemania, which went a lot longer and was boring as hell. Piper gets in the ring as T celebrates; T turns around and pushes his men out of the ring, as Piper removes his shirt and kilt. T tells the ref he’s ready to go, as they circle, Bob Orton nails T with a knee to the back from behind and now they double team Mr. T. Piper whips Mr. T with his belt as Orton holds him down, where is T’s good friend Hulk Hogan during all this? They finally leave and T back up, yells at Piper to get back in the ring. We go to commercial, and when we come back Gene is with Mr. T. T says no one humiliates him like that and he will get Rowdy Roddy Piper. T says he wants Piper, and Gene says T demonstrated his boxing skills. T says he expected a clean fight, but they are dirty and he repeats he wants Piper. They show a recap of Piper whipping T, from there back to Gene with King Kong Bundy & Bobby Heenan. Gene asks if Bundy is ready, to which Heenan responds he’s ready to take the title from Hogan. Bundy screams he wants Hogan, Gene says Bundy is not here to face Hogan. Heenan says Bundy is ready for Hogan, anytime, anyplace, and Bundy reiterates it. Gene asks about tonight’s match, and Heenan says don’t worry.

2. King Kong Bundy v. Steve Gatorwolf. Not a clue who Gatorwolf is, so I checked online and all I could find was he was an enhancement talent, aka jobber, for WWF and AWA and is from Arizona. This is going to be a squash I assume. Both men get checked by the ref, as the bell rings, and Bundy nails Steve with a knee and forearms. Bundy chops Steve in the corner, and tosses his into the other corner. Bundy follows up with the big Avalanche, and covers for the five count, as he always does, for the easy win. DUD squash as expected, great way to push the big man. Bundy grabs the mic and says he wants Hulk now. We get the recap of the match, and then to Gene with Don Muraco. Muraco says everyone wants what he has, the title shot, Don says he’s not agitated but his manager, Mr. Fuji has a case of the flu. Gene with a racist joke about the Asian flu, and Gene asks Don if he’s going out alone, to which Muraco says he has a replacement, Bobby Heenan. Heenan comes out and Gene says this is a conflict of interest. Heenan says anytime someone is against Hogan, he’s there for them, as we see Fuji in the locker room. Gene with Hulk, who says he has to expect anything and he’s ready and thinks something is fishy. Hogan says Heenan is more than a distraction, but they have to break him to take the title, and no one has ever done that.

3. Hulk Hogan v. Don Muraco. Hulk Hogan comes out to Real American, for the first time, as Jesse mocks the music. They lock up, and Don rams Hulk in the corner and rakes the back twice. Don pounds the back, as Jesse says Muraco going to rip the tan off Hulk. Muraco continues to work over Hulk in the corner, but Hulk reverses a corner whip and nails Don with a backdrop. Hulk with a series of scratches down the back, and Hulk nails Heenan who jumped on the apron. Hulk corners Don in the corner and nails him, then whips him in and follows with a corner clothesline. Hogan takes Don out of the ring with the atomic drop, and follows him out. Don gets punched in the head, and then rolled back in. Both men now slugging it out and Hulk gets the advantage, as Heenan looks on in dismay. Hulk with a headbutt, the whips Don in and locks in the bearhug. Muraco breaks the hold with a vicious headbutt to the nose, and now Don drops a big leg on Hulk. Don with a big kick to the stomach, and then drops the Asian Spike on the Hulkster, as Heenan screams instructions. Muraco continues the offense, as he nails a pair of kneelifts on Hulk, and follows up with a big elbow drop. Don drops the headbutt into the lower abdominal, wow that sure looked gay! Hogan in a world of trouble, as Muraco with a side Russian legsweep, then another Spike from the second rope as Muraco continue to stomp Hulk and gets a near fall. Hulk begins the classic Hulking Up routine, Hulk with three right hands, whips Muraco in the corner, hits a back elbow, another whip, big boot, legdrop for the cover, and Heenan breaks the count. 3.5/5 another great match from Hulk’s best days, as Muraco beat on Hogan for quite a while and looked great doing it. After the match Hulk goes after Heenan in the corner and chokes him. Suddenly Bundy from nowhere nails Hulk, as Jesse calls him the cavalry. Muraco holds Hulk in the corner, and Bundy hits the Avalanche three times on the champ. Hulk slumps down to the mat, as Muraco sets Hulk in the middle of the ring. Vince says Hulk may be unconscious, as Bundy hits a big splash with help from Muraco. Don rolls him over and a second splash from Bundy, as the British Bulldogs and Pedro Morales make the save. Hulk does a stretcher job as we go to commercial. We come back as Hulk is loaded on the stretcher, while we see a recap of the attack on Hogan. Gene backstage as they get Hulk Hogan in the ambulance, Gene follows in the ambulance as Vince sounds like he’s going to cry. Vince says the shows must go on, as we go to ringside.

4. The British Bulldogs v. The Dream Team. The British Bulldogs are with Capt. Lou Albano as they get ready in the ring, as Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake come to the ring. I love it, the Dream Team come out to the song “We Are the Champions” by Queen, as they are accompanied by Luscious Johnny V. We get a prerecorded interview with the Dream Team, as Gene mentions the loss to the Bulldogs in a nontitle match. Johnny says that was a trial match, as Greg calls the Bulldogs a circus act. Brutus says they are the toughest and best looking in the WWF. We see the upset loss from January, as the Bulldogs cleanly won the title match, and tonight’s match is for the title. We start with Greg Valentine and Davey Boy, Davey looks so tiny at this point. Davey overpowers Greg, and hits the atomic drop, sending Greg to the Bulldog corner, where Dynamite hits a headbutt, as does Davey. Davey with a nice Suplex for a two count, and tags in Dynamite, as the hit a double clothesline. Dynamite with the headbutt, for a near fall. Greg begs off in the corner, and the ref holds Dynamite back. Greg gets the advantage and tags Brutus. Dynamite pounds Brutus in the corner, and tags in Davey. Davey lifts Brutus by one arm, and works the arm of Beefcake, as Jesse says he could dislocate Brutus’ shoulder. Davey with a nice elbow, but Brutus falls in his corner, and Greg back in. Davey with a forearm, and then presses Valentine over his head, and gets a near fall. Davey pulls Greg in his corner, and tags Dynamite, as they hit a double headbutt. Kid drops a knee to the jaw of The Hammer, and then a nice belly to back Suplex. Dynamite with a perfect diving headbutt for another near fall, as the Bulldogs are dominating the champions tonight. Dynamite tags in Davey and both men slug it out, and Davey comes back with a dropkick into a small package for two. Davey overpowers Valentine into his corner, and tags The Kid back in, but Valentine with a reverse atomic drop and tags in Brutus. Valentine and Johnny get into it with Albano on the floor and all six men on the floor now as we go to commercial. We come back to Dynamite and Brutus, as Brutus gets caught in the corner, and the Bulldogs with a nice double team. Davey gets caught by Brutus with a punch to the gut, and Valentine tagged in as they make a wish on Davey. Greg with the figure four, but Dynamite break the hold and gets tagged in. Dynamite and Greg slugging it out in the corner, Valentine drops an elbow from the second rope for a near fall. Valentine with a nice shoulder breaker on the Dynamite Kid, and tags Brutus back in, as they double team Kid. Brutus with a snap mare, and a running stomp for another near fall. Valentine back in, and drops a vicious forearm to the face of Kid, and now Greg goes for the figure four. Kid kicks him off into the corner, and Greg goes up top, and Kid catches and slams him down. Kid climbs the ropes and hits a nice missile dropkick, but Greg gets his foot on the ropes. Kid whips him in, and hits a lariat for another near fall. Dynamite hits the snap Suplex, and all four in the ring. Davey dropkicks Brutus out of the ring, as Greg whipped in and they hit head to head. Valentine falls on Davey, and the ref counts the pin! 4.5/5 great tag match, with a very unusual ending that I’ve never seen before or since. Amazing how these three could carry Brutus to a great match. We now get an update from Gene outside the hospital, as he says he has no info, so what was the point of that? It’s now time for the World Premiere event, the video of Real American! Still one of the best wrestling theme songs ever, I love how they compare Hulk to Washington, Lincoln, JFK and Martin Luther King. I’m surprised they didn’t include Jesus in their too, with Vince it wouldn’t surprise me.

5. Junk Yard Dog v. Adrian Adonis. Gene is with Adrian, from earlier today, along with Jimmy Hart. Gene welcomes Adrian to SNME, as Adrian has his gay gimmick down here. Adrian says he hates dogs, and has disinfectant and flea powder. Jimmy says they will take care of the Dog once and for all. JYD comes out to Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust”, as Jesse says Jimmy has a score to settle with JYD, being branded by the Dog last winter. Adrian’s character change was just drastic, as he went from a street tough from Hell’s Kitchen NYC to an openly gay character, which at the time was huge. This was the most controversial gay character in the WWF, right up to the debut of Goldust nine years later. Rumors at the time were that this was punishment for Adrian for the substantial weight gain he had. Sadly Adrian passes away about two and a half years later. Adrian starts out taunting the Dog, and JYD tosses Adrian around the ring, and shoulder first to the post. JYD with a big headbutt, and Adrian stuck in the ropes, JYD tosses Adrian back in the ring, as JYD whips Adonis in, and takes him down with a big clothesline for a near fall. JYD readies for a piledriver, but does the ear ringer move instead, as JYD picks up Adrian, Adrian fights back. Adrian with a slap, and then a corner whip, reversed and Adrian over the top to the floor. JYD then headbutts Jimmy Hart, and then mocks Adonis as Hart and Adonis on the floor. The crowd is loudly chanting JYD, as JYD drags Adonis back in, along with Hart. JYD headbutts Adonis, and turns his attention on Hart. JYD tosses Hart into Adonis, and the both tumble over the top rope to the floor. Jesse calls JYD a bully, as we go to commercial. We come back as Adonis slowly gets back in the ring, and Dog continues the offense and goes for a pin, but Adonis gets his foot on the rope. JYD misses the falling headbutt, and Adonis distracts the ref while Hart ties Dog to the bottom rope. Adonis chokes JYD, while Jimmy has the ref distracted now, and the ref finally pulls Adonis off, and Hart gets a cheap shot in. Adonis back on and chokes the Dog, and the ref physically pulls Adonis back. Adonis drops a knee for a near fall, and now Adonis goes for a piledriver, but Dog’s feet hit the ref. Adonis calls Jimmy on the apron, and Dog reverses sending Adonis into Jimmy and rolls him up for the pin. 2.75/5 surprisingly a pretty good match, considering who was in it. After the match JYD gets a hold of Jimmy in the corner, but Adonis nails Dog with a knee to the back sending JYD to the floor. We see a replay of JYD tossing Hart into Adonis, as Vince is just laughing his ass off at it. Back to Gene with an update on the Hulkster, as Gene is joined by the doctor. Gene asks on the condition of Hulk, and the doctor says he has suffered injuries to his ribs and back. Vince and Jesse recap the Mr. T and Bob Orton boxing match from earlier tonight, along with the attack on Hulk Hogan. Vince reports that Hulk is saying he will be leaving the hospital tonight no matter what. Vince and Jesse close the show, as we get the replay of Real American.

Match recap

1. Mr. T beat Bob Orton in a boxing match at the 1 minute mark in round 2 Not rated
2. King Kong Bundy squashed Steve Gatorwolf in 41 seconds DUD
3. Hulk Hogan beat Don Muraco by DQ in 6:53 3.5/5
4. The Dream Team beat The British Bulldogs in 12:00 4.5/5
5. JYD beat Adrian Adonis in 8:45 2.75/5

Obviously this show was to begin the push toward Wrestlemania II, as this set up the Mr. T/Roddy Piper. Bundy/Hogan and Dream Team/Bulldog matches. The boxing match was pretty lame, but was short at least; same can’t be said about the boxing match at Wrestlemania. The squash match was just what it was meant for, showing Bundy as an unstoppable monster. Same thing with the World title match, but the Tag match was amazing, and the rematch at Wrestlemania was basically the only good match at this year’s Wrestlemania. Dog and Adrian surprised me with an exciting match, as Adrian took some impressive flips for a man his size. Other than the tag match though, this was probably the worst SNME so far, but still better than the last few months of the current product.

And now for your viewing enjoyment
Here’s the boxing match



Real American Video

And finally here’s the tag team title match


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