Chris' Blog


WWE Monday Night RAW: Short Matches run rampant! And I don’t mean midgets!

WWE Monday Night RAW – December 28, 2009

With one week until TNA attempts a battle with the WWE, it looks like WWE is not going to hold anything back. The story of Bret Hart’s return leaked online before the holidays and now it’s official. Next Monday night should be one great night for TV and I really hope TNA can be competitive with the WWE, guess we shall wait and see. But before we get to that night, we have this week to get through, and tonight’s episode of RAW is hosted by some rapper I think, not sure who he is, not my genre of music, and the main event of Sheamus defending the title against John Cena. Should be an interesting show tonight, so let’s get it started!

  1. We open RAW with Chris Jericho outside the building trying to start a protest for the way he’s being treated and being kicked off RAW. I assume this is going to run show long, with Bret Hart probably being the one to reinstate Jericho on RAW next week. Tonight RAW comes from Hartford, CT and we get told Vince will make a statement about the possible return of Bret Hart. John Cena’s music plays and the chump is here, as Cena the human pylon makes his way to the ring. Cena looks under the ring and pulls out a table, which he slides in the ring and sets it up. Cena sits on the top turnbuckle and starts his weekly spiel, as he goes over how Sheamus beat him two weeks ago and reminds the crowd tonight he gets him rematch. Cena says he wants the match now, and wants a table match, Sheamus then comes out. They really need to get rid of that stupid looking spinner belt, it just looks cheap. Sheamus tells Cena that Cena has something to prove as Sheamus is the champion and that means RAW belongs to Sheamus. Cena says RAW belongs to the fans and asks is it going to be a table match or not. Sheamus responds it will not be a table match as he’s put Cena through a table already and wants to beat Cena in the main event. Sheamus says RAW will end with him still holding the title. Sheamus turns to walk away and Cena cheap shots the champ and FU’s him through the table. What a great role model for kids, if you don’t get your way hit the guy from behind. Cena just needs to disappear, preferably for good, as he’s such a boring person to listen to and so little talent. If RAW ends with Cena getting the belt back, I will give up on RAW at that point; already plan to watch TNA before I bother with RAW. We go backstage to some rap guy with the useless Bella’s, who look good but are not much use, and the underrated Gail Kim. Josh Matthews asks the host if he plans to postpone the main event tonight, he says he will not postpone it; the match will take place tonight. We now go to Legacy backstage with Randy Orton; Orton says it’s time to break up Legacy as he’s wasted the last 18 months with DiBiase & Rhodes after they lost last week. Cody says Randy can’t be serious, Randy says none of them have titles and that makes them failures. Rhodes & DiBiase say they’ve bailed Orton out repeatedly and saved his title more than once, Orton responds by saying they both have matches and they must win or he will beat the hell out of them both. Now outside the arena, are we having any matches tonight or not, to Jericho with his one man protest? Love the sign, “Stop the Jericho embargo”, very funny. Even not being on RAW, he’s going to get lots of camera time.
  2. Ted DiBiase v. Evan Bourne. This is one of the two matches set up by Randy Orton, with Cody v. Mark Henry coming later tonight. Remember when Evan Bourne was getting set for a big push when he came over from ECW? Now he’s just sort of hanging in the mid card, sad. Ted starts out using his power to take down Bourne, but Evan uses his speed to take Ted down. Ted counters back with a vicious lariat spinning Bourne completely around for a near fall. DiBiase with the delayed vertical Suplex, followed by a series of elbows, then into the chin lock, as Orton stares a hole through DiBiase. Evan uses his feet to get an advantage then hits a nice Hurricanrana for a near fall, Evan follows up with a high knee and heads up top, but DiBiase moves and drops Evan into the buckle. DiBiase hits Dream Street for the victory and passes Orton’s test, as Orton does not look happy. 2.75/5 would’ve been better had they had more time. Typical RAW match, as it just was way too short to be anything, if they’d give them another ten minutes would’ve been at least a three and a half.
  3. Cody Rhodes v. Mark Henry. Cody looks over at Orton and gets tossed across the ring by Henry, who then goes for an Earthquake splash but misses. Cody with a low cross body, but gets pushed out of the ring, back in and a nice dropkick does nothing. Henry with a clothesline then a head butt, followed up by the rope slide, but Henry injures his knee on the way out of the ring. Cody gets pressed over the head of Henry, but Henry’s knee buckles and Cody gets a near fall. Cody kicks Mark in the knee and hits the quick snap DDT for the win. 1.25/5 Same as previous match, way too short to be any good. I know WWE loves storylines but the matches need more time. Orton gets up and escorts Rhodes to the back, and I guess Legacy lives. We go backstage to Jillian & Gail, as Jillian wants to audition for the host, we then see the D-X idiots who cut off Jillian, classy. Now D-X is going to do Jackass style crap, great, this is pathetic and who the hell finds this shit funny? Shawn says he wants to get involved in the Bret/Vince stuff later tonight; of course he does, as Triple H says tonight they have Big Show and a mystery partner tonight. Shawn walks off as Jillian is singing for the host and Horny knocks Jillian on her little ass.
  4. Maryse v.  Kelly Kelly. Kelly looking hot in her little red bra and short shorts, very nice, We get a quick recap of last week’s diva match, as Kelly scored the pin on the former champ in a six diva match, thus giving us this match. Maryse does her hair flip and gets popped in the face and gets taken down as we do the diva roll, with Maryse ending up on top of Kelly. Maryse picks up Kelly and nails her with a forearm but a kick is blocked and Kelly with a clothesline & dropkick. Kelly with a crossbody for a near fall, Kelly goes for the handstand elbow but Maryse avoids contact and flips Kelly off the top rope. Maryse quickly hits the French DDT, or as I like to call it the Poutine Drop, for the win. 2.5/5 another quick diva match, we’ve had about 15 minutes of wrestling tonight so far. Maryse has the microphone and laughs and asks if Melina is watching, she then switches to Frenglsh, French/English, and says she’ll be the next diva champion. Maryse looks over at Kelly and kicks her in the ribs before leaving the ring. We go backstage to see Mr. McMahon getting ready to come to the ring. Outside the building we see Jericho and Big Show, as Show says he is moving on and tells Jericho to let the team go. He gives Chris an envelope, he opens it and we don’t see what it is, but Jericho starts to laugh.
  5. Mr. McMahon comes out to the ring, with the legendary swagger, to address the Bret Hart rumors. The crowd starts immediately with “We want Bret” chants, as Vince starts by saying the fans love his ingenious idea of guest hosts, as he would do anything for the fans. Vince cuts to the chase about the special guest host next week, Bret Hart, to which Vince says he has a brief history of Bret as we get a video of Bret Hart. Very cool little video tribute for Bret Hart, showing Owen, Bigelow, Flair, and Hennig among others, plus the Montreal Screwjob highlights. Montreal seems so long ago, yet I remember watching it live with friends at a local bar, and everyone was pissed when Bret got screwed. Can’t believe it’s been twelve years since that night, makes me feel old. Back to Vince who says he did not screw Bret Hart, Bret screwed Bret, and that in spite of that Vince says he allowed Bret to be in the Hall of Fame. Vince says after Bret’s induction speech, Bret refused to shake Vince’s hand and Bret showed him utter contempt at the Hall of Fame. Vince says to show he’s the better man, next week’s guest host will be, and Vince stops and says he can’t do it. Vince apologizes and says Bret Hart will never be a guest host on Monday Night RAW, and then Vince starts to leave when Shawn Michaels’ music hits. Shawn gets in the ring and has a mic, Shawn says to Vince that sometimes there are rivalries that are bigger than the industry, that are so big you can’t deny people simply because it doesn’t work out. Vince says Shawn’s talking about Shawn and Bret, Shawn says no he’s talking about Undertaker. Shawn says he knows he can end the undefeated streak, and Shawn says he wants to appeal to Vince’s wallet, as Shawn asks for the rematch with Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Vince says as Chairman of the Board, he is reluctant to make this match, and Vince says he will not make the match. Vince says if Shawn wants the match, Shawn has to make it happen. Shawn then says to Vince he understands why he is afraid of the Undertaker but can’t understand why he is afraid of Bret Hart. Shawn tells Vince he needs to bring closure to the Bret Hart chapter, and Shawn says for Vince to bring Bret back to the WWE & RAW, as Shawn promises Vince only good things will happen. Vince says he’s not afraid of anyone in the world and he is fearless, Vince says that Shawn thinks only good things will happen. Shawn responds by saying he would be happy to see Bret one more time, Vince responds by saying next week’s guest host will be, Bret “The Hitman” Hart! The crowd erupts as Vince leaves and Shawn stands in the ring not sure what he did. We go backstage to Josh Matthews with John Cena who gets attacked from behind by the champ. Back to the guest host, with the Bella Twins, Eve, Gail & MVP & Kofi Kingston, MVP says when Kofi beats Miz for the title, MVP wants the first shot. Kofi says that’s fine with him, as the Miz walks in and says MVP will not beat Kofi for the title as Kofi will not win the title. Miz says next year he’ll still be champ, but Kofi & MVP will be afterthoughts. The guest host changes the rules and says if Kofi wins tonight he gets his title shot tonight.
  6. The Miz v. Kofi Kingston. If Kofi wins this match he gets a US title shot immediately following the match. I bet this gets less than ten minutes, even if we get two matches.  Kofi starts with a go behind, but Miz with a kick then a Suplex sending Kofi in the corner and Miz stomps him down. Miz hits the corner clothesline on Kofi and climbs the ropes; Kofi catches with Trouble in Paradise and wins in 50 seconds. DUD was not even a match, just one kick from Kofi for the win. We go to commercial and when we come back it’s the US title match and Kofi with a big cross body for a near fall. Kofi hits the SOS for another near fall, Kofi just keeps pounding Miz down and goes for the boom drop, which connects. Kingston gives the sign for the Trouble in Paradise and he hits it, as the ref goes to count out comes Randy Orton who rams Kingston into the post and hits an RKO. DUD again as this match went about 3 minutes, so two matches combined were less than four minutes. Has Vince forgot what the second W in WWE stands for, it’s Wrestling Vince! Wrestling! Remember that, you know long competitive matches that people want to see, not two matches under four minutes. Well, at least this was a first, two DUD matches back to back from the same guys. Orton stands over Kingston as we see the recap of the RKO. Backstage to Randy Orton who says the war is not over, next week Orton v. Kingston.
  7. D-X v. The Big Show & Mystery Partner. I bet the mystery partner is Jericho under a mask. I guess I’m wrong as Jericho comes through the crowd, and Big Show had given him a front row ticket. Good thing the show’s never sell out, so getting a ticket is pretty easy. Chavo Guerrero as Big Show’s partner, gee I wonder who’s going to take the fall in this match! I’m more interested in the hot blonde standing beside Jericho then this match. Chavo starts out with Triple H, as Chavo gets caught in the delayed vertical Suplex, which HHH follows up with the knee drop for a near fall. Chavo able to hit a dropkick on the Game and starts to pound him in the corner. The ref pulls Chavo back and Triple H hits a clothesline and makes a tag, Shawn starts to chop Chavo, but gets caught coming off the ropes by Big Show and Chavo almost gets the win. Chavo pounds Shawn in the corner and as the ref is distracted Show gets a choke on Shawn, Chavo tags in Big Show. Show walks over Shawn and then picks him up and head butts him before tagging Chavo back in. Chavo with a crossface chicken wing, but Shawn fights out only to eat a European Uppercut, but Chavo caught coming off the top. Both men make tags, and Show goes for the Chokeslam which is countered, Chavo runs in and hit with a spinebuster. HHH hits the face buster on Show, but gets nailed with a spear. Show tags in Chavo, who climbs the shoulders of the Big Show and goes for the frog splash but HHH moves out of the way. Show taken out by Shawn as Horny runs in and attempts a pedigree on Chavo, who counters but gets hit by a pedigree from HHH for the win. 2.25/5 just a squash for D-X, whatever. Jericho jumps the rail and goes to check on Show, Jericho pulls off his jacket and jumps on the apron but gets hit with Sweet Chin Music. Triple H says if this is the way it’s going to be, then the rematch is next week, if Jericho loses he is gone for good. So next week we have Bret Hart guest hosting and D-X v. Jerishow for tag titles, nice to see WWE is not scared of TNA! Ten minutes left of the show and the guest host finally comes out, with the Bella Twins, in front of the live crowd, as he is the ring announcer for the main event. Nice to see the guest host being impartial, as he comes out wearing Cena’s shirt.
  8. John Cena v. Sheamus. If Cena wins we riot! Ok, maybe not, but if Cena wins I’m not going to be very impressed. Well, only five minutes left of the show doesn’t bode well for a good main event. Remember when RAW main events went 15 minutes or more, but then again Cena can’t go that long. We start out quick with a slugfest and Cena hits the bulldog on Sheamus, who gets up quickly and hits the lariat then stomps on Cena. Sheamus pounds Cena and hits the shoulderblocks in the corner, followed by a snap Suplex for a near fall. Sheamus stalks Cena in the corner and whips Cena in but misses the bulldog and Cena with a shoulderblock then the belly to back Suplex he just can’t get right. Cena hits a fist drop the goes for the FU but Sheamus grabs the ropes, Cena pulls him off and Sheamus pulls the ref down for the DQ. DUD not a match as it barely went three minutes. Sheamus keeps the title, same ending they did on house shows this weekend. Cena goes after Sheamus as he was going up the ramp and throws him the ring. Cena gets hits with the pump kick from the Celtic Warrior, which made the show for me. Sheamus stands over the chump with his foot in the throat of Cena. As the last image of RAW for 2009 is Sheamus holding the World Title over his head!!!

Match recap

  1. Ted DiBiase over Evan Bourne 2.75/5
  2. Cody Rhodes pinned Mark Henry 1.25/5
  3. Maryse pinned Kelly Kelly 2.5/5
  4. Kofi Kingston pinned Miz DUD
  5. Kofi Kingston beat Miz by DQ DUD
  6. DX beat Big Show & Chavo Guerrero 2.25/5
  7. John Cena beat Sheamus by DQ DUD

Overall this was yet another really bad RAW as we had three duds and two disqualifications. There probably wasn’t more than 25 minutes of wrestling on the show, as the Kofi/Miz double match didn’t even go 5 minutes and that was for two matches, the main event was less than three minutes and the diva match was maybe three minutes long. D-X had the longest match, but was less than ten minutes. The only highlight of RAW was the announcement of Bret Hart next week, next Monday should be a great night of wrestling, I hope.

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