Chris' Blog

TNA Impact: Greatest TV Match Ever

TNA Impact: December 17, 2009

Since my copy of WWE Superstars doesn’t seem to want to play in my DVD player, I guess I’m going to start with Impact then (I typed this before I did the Superstars show). All I have to say about this episode, please be better than last week’s episode, let last week be and exception to the norm. With the PPV coming up on Sunday, we should get some big pushes to the PPV.
1. The show starts with a recap of Mick Foley finding Jeff Jarrett and the Daniels/AJ feud and the other god awful stuff from last week’s show. Mike Tenay & Tazz waste no time hyping the PPV this Sunday night, and they announce the Mick Foley/Hulk Hogan meeting will get show tonight, as we see Foley storming backstage before the show and attacking Kevin Nash. Those poor people who spent all that time setting up the chairs, all done in vain. Foley pounds on Nash, as the rest of World Elite coming running out to save Nash. They hold Foley up and Nash pounds Mick in the face, security tries to pull Mick and Nash apart. Tenay & Tazz announce Jeff Jarrett will be here in the Impact Zone, as we get another recap of the JJ/Foley meeting again. We go backstage to Lauren with the Hardcore Knockout Roxxi returning!! She looks great with the short blonde hair, very different. She says she’s been training in Mexico and working out to get better in the ring. Tonight Roxxi will face ODB in a non-title match, should be a great match. Roxxi says she respects ODB and will bring it on and hopes to win. Glad to see Roxxi back in TNA, been too long. We go backstage again, to Kurt Angle who says he hasn’t lost since September which was a four way. Kurt says his job is not done till he regains the title, and Desmond will not blemish his record. Jeremy asks about Jeff Jarrett arriving and Kurt turns away, as we go to a video package of Tara/ODB’s feud, at least this time they don’t show Tara’s lack of underwear!
2. ODB v. Roxxi. Roxxi is a great athlete and I’m glad TNA finally brought her back, hope she sticks around this time. We once again get a recap of ODB/Tara and this time they leave in the Tara crotch shot, well Russo always said sex sells. Roxxi towers over ODB, as ODB offers the flask and as Roxxi reaches for it, ODB kicks her. ODB with a whip to the corner, but misses the splash and Roxxi with a fall-away slam, followed by a corner splash and big boot. Roxxi runs into the ropes, and ODB gets out of the way, ODB follows up with stomps and kicks. ODB hits the corner clothesline, than the stupid Bronco Buster for a near fall. ODB locks in a bearhug on the Hardcore Knockout; Roxxi tries to fight out and gets rammed in the corner. ODB crotches herself on the buckle, and Roxxi rams ODB’s head into the buckle multiple times. Roxxi with a nice dropkick, then the Voodoo Drop for a near fall, thought that was the end. Roxxi goes for a Suplex and ODB with a knee lift to a roll up for two. Roxxi with a nice jackknife pin for a two count of her own. ODB with a jawbreaker and tries to use the flask, but the ref stops her. ODB is yelling at the ref and Roxxi rolls her up for the win! 4/5 Excellent knockout match, both these ladies can kick ass and did so in this match. After the bell ODB attacks Roxxi with the flask and starts to pound Roxxi, Tara runs out for the save. Tara has a black eye from last week, as ODB bails out. ODB/Tara should be a hell of a match, and I can’t wait to see it. We go to Mick Foley in LA with Jeremy Borash, as Foley arrives at Hulk’s place. As Foley waits, out comes Lou Ferrigno, who was the Hulk. Kevin Nash set up Mick Foley, as Foley snaps realizing Nash screwed him over, and Foley storms out of the building. We go backstage to Jeremy Borash with Kevin Nash, who screams that Foley signed his death warrant. Kevin Nash says January 4th Hulk Hogan will be here and Foley will be unemployed. We then go to Borash with Mick Foley in his office, as Foley says he’s a smart man and is circling the wagons. Foley says he needs as many allies as he needs, as Abyss suddenly limps his way in and say he is Mick’s ally. Abyss reminds Mick that this Sunday they have a tag match and tonight Abyss is in the main event. Mick says he didn’t forget or forgive Raven & Stevie for what they’ve done to himself and Abyss. Foley promises to have Abyss’ back this Sunday night and asks Abyss does he have Mick’s back Sunday. Abyss says you’re damn right, he has Mick’s back and they are a team. Are we getting any more matches tonight or what?? As we go to Lauren with Matt Morgan, Hernandez, The Pope D’Angelo Dinero & Suicide talking about their eight man tag match Sunday night. Morgan can really do a promo, as long as he isn’t stuttering! Pope says the future stands before the crowd right here, right now.
3. Brother Ray v. Matt Morgan. So we get a lumberjack match, eh? Well, I wonder what’s going to happen in this match. Of course we know the other six in the match on Sunday will all get involved. Something strange as Morgan, Hernandez & Pope come out, no Suicide; suddenly Suicide makes his way to ringside. Bet Spike Dudley is under the mask now, or Homicide. Bubba starts by pounding down the Blue Print, Bubba bounces off the robes and gets taken down. Matt tosses Bubba into the corner, and hits a series of back elbows to the head of Bubba, followed by a side slam for a near fall. Tazz makes fun of Bubba’s weight, as Matt misses the Carbon Footprint and gets hit with a back Suplex. Matt tosses out of the ring right into Bubba’s team as we get a standoff, Morgan rolled back into a neckbreaker. Bubba stands over the Blueprint and slaps him in the head; Matt chopped in the chest and shakes it off. Matt with a discus clothesline than a Stinger Splash followed by a body slam. Bubba rolls out and gets pounded on by team Morgan, Bubba back in and chokeslammed . As Morgan goes for the pin Jesse & Rhino pull him out and all hell breaks loss. Matt & Bubba back in the ring, Matt goes for the Helivator but gets hit by a low blow from Jesse. Bubba scores the pin after the cheap shot. 3/5 Good power match, the outcome was expected but still a good match. From this match we now get a recap of the career of Jeff Jarrett, as we see Mick Foley in the parking lot as Jeff Jarrett arrives, but no Karen Angle with him! We now go to Lauren with my favorite tag team, Beer Money Inc. They go over the rules of Feast or Fired, Storm says they’re putting on the line everything they have worked for. Samoa Joe comes in and interrupts the interview, Joe says he has everything on the line as well and no one will give him a shot either. Joe says unlike BMI he deserves a shot, as Eric Young & Bashir come in, and Eric says there are new entrants in the battle royal. Eric says all of World Elite is in the Battle Royal and will make sure BMI never gets a title shot again.
4. Velvet Sky & Madison Rayne v. Awesome Kong & Hamada v. Taylor Wilde & Sarita. Wow, the Beautiful People look great as always, I love that entrance! Glad to see they’re keeping Lacey out of the ring, Madison is much better, Lacey just looks good! Hamada & Kong should make one amazing team, nice to see the Knockouts actually get time, unlike what the WWE does. Taylor & Sarita in matching outfits, very cool, and they are both gorgeous! Nice camera work on TBP as we get a close up of their boobs just then! No episode of Impact next week, but four hours on New Year’s Eve! Should be interesting with a Knockout Tag Team Tournament, kind of sucks no show to follow the PPV though. The match starts with Kong & Wilde, Wilde hits a pair of dropkicks, but Kong pushes her back. Taylor climbs Kong and pummels her, both make the tag, Sarita & Hamada come in. Hamada with a monkey flip, Sarita follows with a spinning head scissors, Hamada hits the enziguiri and Velvet tags herself in. Velvet with DDT on Hamada for a near fall. Madison tagged in and they double team Hamada and both nail Taylor & Sarita. T&S pull Velvet out, leaving Madison with Kong. Hamada hits a great moonsault off top rope to the floor. Kong goes for Awesome Bomb, countered to a sunset flip; Kong just sits on Rayne for the win. 3.25/5 Kong just dominated, match would’ve been better had it gone a little longer, but for what it was, it was a good match. Lauren with TBP, Lacey calls her a skank and Lauren pops her one! Nice! We go backstage to JJ & Mick Foley; Jarrett asks why he’s even there. Mick responds by saying Jeff needs to be there, and Jeff says he needs to give Dixie a piece of his mind. Jeff says he should not have been sent home, Mick says he agreed on him being sent home. Mick says Jeff needs to focus on the long term, Jeff says all he cares about is his three girls at home. Mick says Jeff needs to do the right thing for the company. Christy Hemme, who looks great with her new hairstyle, with Jay Lethal. Jay says the Anvil pulled a fast one on him, and it doesn’t matter who it is, he’s going to beat them.
5. Jay Lethal v. Tatanka. This gimmick needs to die now, it has run its course, and now it’s just become annoying. I like Lethal, but sick of the Macho Man wannabe garbage. Tatanka, really, that’s the best we can do? Lethal slides in and tries for a cheap shot, but ref stops him. Jay catches Tatanka with a knee lift and series of elbows. Tatanka with a huge clothesline then drops the elbow followed by a pair of legdrops. Tatanka has Jay in the corner and hits the chops, Lethal whipped into the far corner, then Tatanka with a nice Suplex. Jay rakes the eye and then hits a knee to the back, sending Tatanka to the turnbuckle. Lethal with a double sledge for a near fall, Tatanka starts to get fired up and hits the tomahawk chops on Lethal. Jay Lethal gets back dropped by Tatanka, then the chop to the head. Tatanka climbs the ropes and hits another chop to the head for a near fall. Tatanka goes for the Samoan Drop, countered to DDT. Lethal up top and gets caught by the Native American, who hits the End of the Trail for the win! 3/5 surprisingly not a bad match, given it was Tatanka! Love the fact Tatanka is still working the mullet in this day and age!! We go to Christy Hemme with the Machine Guns, Sabin says he’s surprised anyone even cares they’ve won anything. Sabin says maybe we don’t promote alcohol and greed, or people don’t get their humor. Sabin says they won’t change for anyone, Shelly says he’s proud they fought for everything. Shelly says they will teach the Brits a lesson on Sunday and win the belts. Back to JJ & Foley, as JJ says he’s going to talk to Dixie by himself, Foley tells Jeff to get it done. Jeff Jarrett head to Dixie’s office and goes in, Jeff says Mick recommended they talk and Jeff says he agrees. Dixie asks about what and Jeff asks about coming back to the company he founded, Dixie says before the future we need to take care of the past. Dixie says Jeff lied to her, and mentions Jeff being with Kurt’s wife, leaving Dixie with no other option but to put Jeff on sidelines. Jeff apologizes for disrespecting her and he’s sorry for everything, Dixie thanks Jeff but says he needs to talk to Kurt Angle first.
6. Christopher Daniels v. Desmond Wolfe. If this was on a PPV, it would get adequate time and be a great match, however being on TV I don’t see it lasting long before we get interference. Desmond stars with a go behind, and Daniels counters, but Desmond counters to a cravat, Daniels counters but Desmond keeps the hold on. Daniels goes for a slam and Desmond still has the hold on, Daniels finally able to get out. They lock up and Desmond back to the cravat, Daniels able to counter out this time to a side headlock. Desmond able to roll out of the move, but Desmond relocks the maneuver back in, Desmond flips Daniels and right back into the headlock. This has been an interesting change of pace match, very slow submission based, not something you see anymore. Desmond counters out to a headlock, but Daniels counters out as well and back to the headlock. Daniels whipped in and hits a shoulder block knocking Wolfe to the mat. Desmond back up and applies a wristlock, Daniels rolls out and locks in a wristlock of his own. Desmond with a European Uppercut, Daniels back with a forearm and now they are nose to nose. Desmond hits a slap and Daniels returns the slap and now they slug it out. Daniels knocks Wolfe down and hits a kick to the back, Wolfe hit with a backbreaker. Daniels sets Wolfe up and hits the STO on Wolfe followed by a springboard moonsault for a near fall. Wolfe put on the top rope, but he fights his way out and hits the hammerlock take down on Daniels. Daniels in the corner, Wolfe charges in with a forearm to the face for a near fall. Daniels whipped in and catches Wolfe with a kick, Daniels with a few more kicks, goes for Angels Wings, countered into a top wristlock submission. Wolfe moves into the crossface submission on Daniels, Daniels bites his way out and hits the DDT, Daniels now locks in a submission hold on the Brit, but Wolfe rolls Christopher into a pin for a two. Daniels whipped into the turnbuckle by Wolfe; Wolfe sets Daniels on the top rope, but Daniels able to get out. Desmond goes for the flying forearm but Daniels counters into a series of back and forth near falls. That was amazing to see, like Flair and Steamboat. As they jockey for position the bell rings, damn the time ran out. 4.75/5 Amazing TV match, probably one of the best pure wrestling matches on TV in years. We may have an early match of the year here, would’ve gone the full five if we had a winner, but that’s just quibbling. I had to watch it twice just because the match was so good, I wanted to watch instead of type, so had to watch again to type the recap. From this amazing match, we go to Foley and JJ backstage again, as they’re going to talk to Angle. JJ says he wants to do this one on one, and tells Foley trust him. Foley says he trusts JJ but not Angle, they go in together. JJ tells Kurt if he disrespected or offended him, he’s sorry. Kurt slowly turns to face JJ, and says he has a match and just walks past him.
7. Scott Steiner, Raven, Dr. Stevie, Brutus Magnus & Doug Williams v. AJ Styles, Tyson Tomko, Abyss, Bobby Lashley & Kurt Angle. I hate these kinds of matches, unless its elimination style, they’re just too chaotic and end too quickly. Although it’ll probably last longer than RAW’s 14 diva match!! Nice to see Tomko back in TNA, always liked Tomko and still think Tomko can be a superstar one day. We start quickly with Abyss going after Stevie and Raven, Raven starts biting on the badly burned leg of Abyss. Raven, Stevie and Abyss fight to the back, as Lashley gets taken down by Steiner. Steiner whips Lashley into the guardrail and they fight up the ramp as well. Well that makes it a three on two match at this point. We go to commercial and come back to only half the guys left, Angle starts out with Magnus and German Suplexes him down. Angle tags in Tomko and in comes Williams who gets a big boot then powerslam as Angle tags himself back in. Angle misses a clothesline and gets a forearm to the face, Williams makes the tag, and Angle gets double teamed. Williams back in with a sleeper, as we go backstage to Lashley & Steiner brawling backstage, we have going on people, as we see Raven & Stevie pounding on Abyss. Nice to see Tomko’s return match get some attention, as we stay with the brawls backstage. Angle fights out of the sleeper and hits a belly to belly Suplex on Williams and goes for the tag, but Tomko pulled down by Terry, AJ tagged in. AJ taking out both men goes for Styles Clash and gets caught. Tomko knocks Williams off the top as AJ rolls up Magnus for the win. 2.75/5 A chaotic match that did not deliver what it was supposed to be, as we basically had a handicap match instead of 10 man tag. The backstage stuff was more interesting then the match, but then again the British Invasion really suck. Kurt has the title, and AJ grabs it from Angle and they start slugging it out, but Daniels and Wolfe slide in and take out their PPV opponents. Daniels stands over AJ with the title, as Desmond has Angle in a wristlock at the same time. The show ends with Daniels and Wolfe shaking hands over the bodies of their opponents this Sunday night.

Match Recap
1. Roxxi beat ODB 4/5
2. Brother Ray pinned Matt Morgan 3/5
3. Awesome Kong & Hamada beat The Beautiful People & Taylor Wilde & Sarita 3.25/5
4. Tatanka pinned Jay Lethal 3/5
5. Christopher Daniels & Desmond Wolfe went to a time limit draw 4.75/5
6. AJ Styles, Kurt Angle, Tomko, Lashley & Abyss beat British Invasion, Raven, Dr. Stevie & Scott Steiner 2.75/5
A much better show then last week, just a little too much Crash TV stuff. TNA really needs to lessen the number of segments on the show, as it makes the show seem chaotic. I understand wanting to get everyone a little TV time, but they need to draw the line somewhere. I really liked the two Knockout matches, but I’m a mark for Taylor Wilde so… and the Daniels/Wolfe match just blew away everything else this week, including the PPV. I would like to see Daniels/Wolfe in a thirty minute match, which would kick ass. Looking forward to parts of the PPV, just wish Taylor & Sarita had a match, maybe they’ll add it at the last minute, I hope. The Daniels/Styles and Wolfe/Angle matches should make up for the Lashley/Steiner match.


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